Success Strategies

3 Secrets For An Awesome Relationship

2011-11-24T15:43:00.001-08:00

Seems to be the season for relationship break downs around here. I've got a few friends moving like molasses through the pain of separation. I am sad for them, and yet I know there is good stuff lying in wait around the corner.

For my husband Rob, who is a divorce lawyer, and who was divorced himself before we met, it's always the season, day in day out. I figured if anyone might know the secrets to a good relationship, it might be him - someone who sees what doesn't work every day.

Plus I've been told many times over that our marriage is the source of much inspiration for others. We have a GREAT relationship! So here are some insights from our respective experiences.

1. "Families who play together stay together." This is Rob's #1 top secret to a successful relationship. What he means is that you enjoy each other's company, that you have some common interests, that you have adventures together. That's why we go on skiing trips, go body boarding in the surf, go running together, watch movies, play with the chickens and hang out together. We like each other's company.

2. Enjoy your respective 'boy time' and 'girl time'. We hang out together, but we don't live our lives in each other's pockets. Rob plays tennis with the boys on Wednesdays and Sundays and I get facials, massages, and this weekend I'm going for high tea with the girls. Bring it on.

3. You don't divorce your best friend. Rob asked me, 'how many times in your life have you ditched a best friend?' Stumped me. My closest friends are still my closest friends, even though we are continents apart and don't see each other often. There's a sense of unconditional support and appreciation, a non-judgment of best friends that holds the relationship together. Apply this to your own intimate relationship.

I promised you three, but I'm on a roll now, so here are a few more:

4. Always speak your truth. If something is niggling, bring it up. Do this before your head explodes with all the imagined responses and twists and excuses and other crapola that your imagination can drum up.

5. Acknowledge that you are not responsible for someone else's happiness. Sure it's easier to be around someone who is tip toeing through the tulips every day, but you cannot make them happy - they have to do that for themselves. You can't love someone enough to make them happy. They've got to do that - from the inside out. Your job is to tend your own happiness, your own focus, your own emotional vibration - that is something YOU can control, so focus on that. Bonus: your joie de vivre will tend to rub off on others.

6.Stop needing them to change. Are there things about Rob's behaviour I don't like? Sure. Like when he leaves the toilet seat up. Grrrr... He says, "I put the lid down as much as much as you close the door to the outside when the heater is on." So if you're going to point fingers, they get pointed back. Focus instead on appreciating what you do like - like the way he brings me flowers from the office every Friday. I LOVE that!

7.Create your own rituals, inside secrets, and family culture. All the examples I can think of are adults-only. Except for maybe the 'tea top up' command which means, "please can you show me that you love me by filling up my tea cup and really I am too lazy to do it for myself" or singing the 'clean-up song' we learned from my niece's day care as the signal for, 'let's do this boring task together and make it fun by acting like two-year olds'. (Did that sound as dorky as I think it does? Well I guess that's the point - we give ourselves permission to act a little like dorks and have some fun together, even with the mundane daily tasks).

8. Tell each other why you love each other, and why you like each other. Saying 'I love you' and then following it with 'because...' keeps the juicy parts of your relationship alive and fresh and bubbling. Kind of like a sourdough starter - you've got to keep feeding it.

9. Love you, and your life, on your own. You do not need anything or anyone or anywhere to make you feel good. All you need is the power of your focus, the direction of your attention. And the more you can do that, for yourself, in any given circumstances, the more you'll feel free. You'll fill with the joys of spring and every day will glisten with weekend delight. You will radiate compassion and sexiness and mojo galore. You'll be so filled with love that you will overflow with it, inviting others to play at your party. And that will fill your cup of love even more.

That's a short list - I would LOVE to hear your tips on relationships that rock your socks. Please leave a comment and let me know YOUR secrets.

Me and my honey on a bushwalk

7 Tips for Self Mastery

2011-11-19T19:04:00.001-08:00

"Where do I start?" My favourite question from new clients. They're ready for something different that will shake them up, ease the path, and make every day weekend bliss.

Luckily, there is a magic formula. A formula I've downloaded from the Universe and my own turbulent roller coaster ride. It's worked for me, and it works for my clients.

But please. Let this be FUN, enjoyable, and a delicious unfolding.

Not a task list, a chore, an effort-full ordeal. I'm so not into that anymore.

So here's the juice on how to follow your inner C.O.M.P.A.S.S.

Tip 1 - C- Courage and Self-belief
This is the fundamental component to any achievements, any effort any creative endeavour. There are many complex aspect to this component, however, to get a massive kick-start do this exercise:

Write out "I am awesome because..." and list 50 answers.

Self-belief and self appreciation will be on turbo power!

Tip 2 - O - Orientation True North
Many make finding and following your life's purpose way more complicated than it needs to be. For those who like to ponder, I recommend the following texts for guidance:

Martha Beck's Steering by Starlight
Lance Secretan's The Spark, the Flame, the Torch
Guy Finley's The Giant Leap

And for the ultimate in life purpose guidance I turn to Sir Richard Branson: "do what you love and have fun." Period. That's it! Nice, huh?!

Tip 3 - M - Magnetic Ripples

This is about how to connect deeply with others and create momentum on your dreams. How do you do THAT?

Start with compassion. That's knowing and understanding how someone else might be feeling (walk in someone else's high heels), and then be able to act with wisdom (so you don't get swept away with feelings). This about letting emotions release without releasing all over someone else! Tales practise.

Tip 4 - P - Panoramic 360 view
This is the capacity to look and see from as many different perspectives as possible. You can use the virtual Board of Directors to help flesh this one and give it some legs. (I have Sir Richard Branson, the Dalai Lama, my coach, Warren Buffet on my directors table). From time to time I consult them about a decision. It helps get some broader perspective that's for sure!

Tip 5 - A - Architecture of Beliefs
This aspect is critical. Beliefs are your operating software; they're either running programs that run smoothly with little effort, or they serve up struggle-street. Knowing how to re-wire beliefs is the single most powerful self-mastery skill you can master for long-term results.

How to do this? There are a multitude of techniques. Here is the simplest. Pick a belief you want running your life. For example, "I can have anything I desire." Write it out. Write it out again. Repeat 21 times per day. Repeat with enthusiasm and conviction. Whisper it to yourself as you go to sleep. Repetition will anchor the new belief as your new operating software.

Tip 6 - S - Surroundings
Never underestimate how your surroundings affect your attitude and your outcomes. There is lot of fun stuff to do here - including feng shui, colour, scents, decorating, and more.

Here's an easy tip: pick something you don't like in your surroundings. Replace it with something that makes you heart sing. Repeat each week with something new until everything in your surroundings makes your heart sing.

Tip 7 - Self-care
I have not met a single person who had no room to improve in this area. Seriously, self-care needs to be upgraded for most of us. It could be any aspect - sleep, nutrition, exercise, rest, relaxation, wardrobe, car cleanliness, see the dentist, get regular checks (blood pressure, eyes, hearing, breasts, etc), time out.

You probably know where you need to improve. So pick one thing (say, drink 2 more glasses of water per day) and do it.

Mastery of Self is the first ring in the 5 Rings of Magnetic Leadership. These are the capacities I help my clients fine tune so they can continue to expand as influential, capable leaders. I share with them all the how-tos and finer details in my program, the Co-Creators of Awesomeness. Check it out here.

Now you can get the support materials I publish for my exclusive coaching clients, and coach yourself to Self Mastery. I look forward to you joining us!

Zoe
p.s. If you join before the end of 2011 you can get ongoing access to the coaching resources at the current introductory rate. So hop on over and get started now :)

Putting FUN on your task list

2011-11-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

Richard Branson has always espoused that fun was an integral, if not fundamental, aspect of any business undertaking.

Not fun as in be silly, or reckless, but fun as in completely absorbed, exhilarated with what you're doing, feeling in the flow and high vibing it through your day.

This is from the man who once wore nothing but a plastic mobile phone covering his dignity to launch Virgin Mobile.

Silly or fun? Hmm, maybe both.

More fun sounds good to me! But if you could have more of just one the following, what would YOU choose?

More money
More adventure
More freedom
More sex
More fun

A recent survey of my clients indicated that the one thing they would like more of - more than money, freedom, sex, adventure - was FUN.

Well blow me down with a feather. I was hedging bets on 'adventure', 'freedom' and a sure thing on 'money'. But no, it was fun that won out.

Seems we are a community sadly lacking in engagement, exhilaration and laughs.

How did we start taking ourselves so seriously?

C'mon people, life is for LIVING - not wiling away the hours until we can collapse on the weekend.

I hereby declare a mandate for Fun being listed as the top priority on your task list.

But you don't DO fun, you HAVE fun.

And incredibly, some people struggle to define how to have fun.

So let's get the ball rolling. What is your idea of fun?

Here are a few to get us started: swimming in the ocean, Friday night pizza and beers, a walk in the morning when the sun comes up, laughing uncontrollably (check out Damn You Auto Correct for help on this one), dancing in the supermarket aisles (especially if it embarrasses your partner), in fact, dancing wildly at any inopportune moments fits the bill nicely, reading in bed, a good tickle fight, chasing chickens, taking photos, playing with dogs, eating way too much chocolate, that first sip of beer on a warm summer's day.

I could go on, but I want YOUR inspiration! List your top three ways to have fun!

Six Ways To Think Like Steve Jobs

2011-10-10T16:28:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else wonder what will happen to Apple now that Steve-The-Genius Jobs has passed on? If there is ever to be a test of his leadership, it's now; what survives when the leader doesn't? We may not know for a few years yet.

Here's what has survived - the example he set in his fierce and fearless approach to design and business, and how you can think like the mega-man too.

1. When things get tough, innovate. What did most businesses do during the onset of the Global Financial Crisis? They cut back: jobs, marketing budgets, expenses. Apple increased its innovation and design budget. When things get tough, that's when you need to invest even more in innovation - according to Jobs.

"The cure for Apple is not cost-cutting. The cure for Apple is to innovate its way out of its current predicament." As quoted in Apple Confidential 2.0: The Definitive History of the World's Most Colorful Company (2004) by Owen W. Linzmayer

2. People need to be cheered up. So do the unpopular thing. When the terrorists struck the Twin Towers in 2001, many businesses stopped in their tracks, afraid. The iPod however was announced just a few weeks later, on October 23rd. People thought Jobs was crazy to continue with the release of the iPod. If ever there was a time that people needed good news this was it. Jobs knew this:

"It will go down in history as a turning point for the music industry. This is landmark stuff. I can't overestimate it!" - On the iPod and the iTunes Music Store, as quoted in Fortune magazine (12 May 2003)

So while the world mourned, Jobs brought them hope and the belief in the human spirit and its potential.

3. Think about the people. Jobs had an unerring respect and consideration for his customer. He knew they wanted simplicity and elegance. And all the Apple products delivered on this.

"Look at the design of a lot of consumer products — they're really complicated surfaces. We tried to make something much more holistic and simple. When you first start off trying to solve a problem, the first solutions you come up with are very complex, and most people stop there. But if you keep going, and live with the problem and peel more layers of the onion off, you can often times arrive at some very elegant and simple solutions. Most people just don't put in the time or energy to get there. We believe that customers are smart, and want objects which are well thought through." On the design of the iPod, as quoted in Newsweek (14 October 2006)

4. Be radically creative. And know when to say 'no'. You can be disciplined about creativity. And you can also encourage wild and bold runaway thoughts that lead to breakthroughs as much as they do dead-ends. The trick is to know which is which.

"The system is that there is no system. That doesn't mean we don't have process. Apple is a very disciplined company, and we have great processes. But that's not what it's about. Process makes you more efficient. But innovation comes from people meeting up in the hallways or calling each other at 10:30 at night with a new idea, or because they realized something that shoots holes in how we've been thinking about a problem. It's ad hoc meetings of six people called by someone who thinks he has figured out the coolest new thing ever and who wants to know what other people think of his idea. And it comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don't get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We're always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it's only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important." - As quoted in "The Seed of Apple's Innovation" in BusinessWeek (12 October 2004)

Know what's important to you and your business, and let this be your compass bearing.

5. Invite others' opinions. Trust your own. Being a leader is knowing that to consult others is essential, and to be open to changing your opinions as a result. It's also knowing when to stand firm in your vision of what's possible.

"Because I'm the CEO, and I think it can be done.' - On why he chose to override engineers who thought the iMac wasn't feasible, as quoted in TIME magazine (24 October 2005)

6. Know why you do what you do. Leaving the planet with a 7 billion net worth seems like a worthy achievement. But Jobs's financial success was just a bi-product of his real intention.

"I was worth about over a million dollars when I was twenty-three and over ten million dollars when I was twenty-four, and over a hundred million dollars when I was twenty-five and it wasn't that important because I never did it for the money." - Interview in the PBS documentary Triumph of the Nerds: The Rise of Accidental Empires (1996)

And in his own words, about when it's all over...

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me." - On the success of Bill Gates and Microsoft, as quoted in The Wall Street Journal (Summer 1993)

Zoe
p.s. There are more great Steve Jobs quotes here.

100 Ways to Feed Your Soul

2011-09-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

My recent flu showed me that I was giving a lot to Inner Compass, a lot to the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation, a lot to my marriage, a lot to my fitness, and not much to my soul.

Luckily the body is a good messenger and knocked me flat on my back for a week so I could get a chance to reflect on this inbalance. My homework from my coach is to write 100 things that feed my soul, and to mark the 'daily non-negotiables' - identified with a *.

So here they are, hoping to inspire your list, and for you to add to mine!

* Be outside.
* Meditate.
* Smell some flowers.
* Stretch.
* Cuddle my husband.
* Read a novel.
*Talk nicely to myself.
* Be kind to others.
* Appreciate my abundant life.
* Pray.
* Breathe deeply.
* Send love to someone.
Hang out with the chooks.
Read a good self help book.
Write.
Create something for Inner Compass.
Go for a bike ride.
Yoga.
Take a bath.
Get a massage.
Listen to nice music.
Lie on the couch and look out at the trees.
Talk to my sister.
Talk to my Mum and Dad.
Talk to my older sister.
Talk to my brother.
Head massage.
Laugh with friends.
Watch some good movies.
Swim in the ocean.
Walk in the woods.
Drink some fresh water.
Climb a mountain.
Ski.
Body board.
Play golf on a sunny afternoon.
Pat a kitten.
Take photos.
Go for a walk at lunchtime.
Drink wine and eat nice cheese at my favourite bistro.
Go to the Farmers' markets.
Read Oxygen magazine.
Read my Osho Zen Tarot cards.
Go for a run.
Canoe a wild river.
Camp in a tent by a river.
Watch a wedding.
Watch children play.
Watch puppies play!
Snorkel at Ningaloo reef.
Drift on the ocean in a boat.
Dance.
Draw.
Picnic by the lake.
Go to a photography exhibition.
Say thank you to the earth for its bounty.
Watch and listen to the birds.
Go to the Botanic gardens.
Hang out with my hubby.
Paddle a quiet lake.
Swim in a crystal clear lake.
Walk in the mountains.
Just sit in the sun.
Have a quiet cup of tea doing nothing.
Garden.
Plant some vegetables.
Buy some nice clothes.
Buy some funky shoes.
Travel somewhere new.
Smile at a stranger.
Leave an extra big tip for great service.
Walk barefoot on the grass.
Lie on your back in the grass watching the clouds.
Learn something.
Talk French.
Connect deeply with another human being.
Have a really good deep cry.
Walk in the rain.
Bake cookies.
Eat cookies.
Sip a good glass of red wine.
Day dream.
Nap in the afternoon.
Help someone.
Go to the Art Gallery.
Have lunch with a friend.
Watch the sunrise.
Watch the sunset.
Sit in the moonlight.
Ride a horse.
See a play.
Go to a concert.
Walk around naked.
Celebrate effort and achievement.
Go skinny dipping.
Have scrambled eggs for breakfast.
Praise someone.
Praise myself.
Thank the Universe for all its amazing creations.
Marvel and wonder.

That's my list so far. What would you add that feeds your soul? I would love to hear your inspiration.

When is "enough is enough"?

2011-09-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

"How long are you going to put with this?"

I've asked this of clients who complained of cheating partners, of insubordinate staff, of poor health and body image, of cluttered homes.

This is my favourite question to clients who finish a litany of woes. It's a great circuit breaker.

It's also the crux of the matter.

People will often wait until rock bottom until they do something. Rock bottom varies from heart attacks, bankruptcy, yet another affair, getting hit one more time, and so on. My rock bottom was cancer. It was a harsh lesson in self-management. I don't want that for you.

In any painful situation you always have two choices:
1. Change how you think about the situation.
2. Change the situation.

Changing how you think takes effort and is not all that easy. This is for when you decide to let go of needing anyone or anything to change, and focus on your own inner dialogue. This is also when you move from victim to being a learner and author of your own life experience. Scary. And empowering.

Changing the situation requires courage. That's why most of us tend to put up with pain and suffering far longer than we need or ought to. It's also a little of 'better the devil you know'. Change is scarier than the miserable status quo.

It's amazing the human capacity for suffering to avoid change - a huge threshold for pain. Much greater than it needs to be or ought to be. We tolerate far too much.

The next most important question after 'how long are you going to put with this?' is, "what is this costing you?"
and then,
"what will it cost you in one year if nothing changes? in five years? in ten?"

When you way up the risk of change with the cost of inaction, it gets pretty clear that doing nothing is the real source of pain.

So when do you cue "enough is enough"?

When you know what your values are, it's clear.

When you have strong boundaries about what is appropriate behaviour and what is not, it's clear.

When you have strong self-esteem, it's clear.

When you know your needs and your personal safety are the most important thing, then it's clear.

When you decide to be captain of your own ship, taking responsibility for everything in your life, then it's clear.

Don't let rock bottom, poverty, a heart attack, depression, and yet another affair, be your trigger for change. Value yourself, your life, and your happiness above all else, and DO something about it.

You deserve and have the right to be happy.

Zoe
p.s. Do you have an inspiring story of when you got to 'enough is enough'? Please share with us in the comments.
p.p.s. Want to increase your Self Mastery so you never get to rock bottom? Learn how to lead with your inner C.O.M.P.A.S.S. here.

3 Secret Strategies for Magnetic Rapport

2011-09-01T00:39:00.000-07:00

To be a successful leader, you need sound rapport. But how do you get it when some folks just drive you bonkers?

It's not easy when someone can make your toes curl just by the way they smile.

But trust me, you can develop good rapport with anyone using these three secret strategies.

We're going to go one better than simply getting along with people, we're going to share how to create magnetic rapport. Rapport that wraps people in a bubble of loveliness and lures the angels to strum their harps and cherubs to chirp.

Let's do it!

1. It's all about YOU!
You got to love yourself so hard you can hardly keep from smooching yourself all over. It's not about being narcissistic or self-indulgent, it's about having that MOJO that rocks the house. The kind of magic that says, "heck ya I am uber awesome".

When you have that kind of internal resonance and high beam of feel-good, people are naturally drawn to you. Don't you like to hang out with people who have that inner glow of "all is right with the world and my place in it". (for tips on how to get this kind of rock-star confidence got to Get Wealthy Healthy Hot).

2. It's all about THEM!
You've got to love the patooties out of the other person. I don't mean love as in starry eyed romantic mushiness, I mean deep and profound compassion and acceptance.

If you find yourself judging someone else or their choices or their behaviour or the colour of their socks, then you're off the mark. Magnetic you are not. Prickly and disdainful you might be.

This is a toughie, folks, it means giving up your addiction to judgments - of making people right or making them wrong. (or making yourself right or wrong for that matter).

One handy trick is that next time you feel yourself making a snigger, or criticising, or putting someone down, or disliking them, or getting irritated, try stepping back for a moment and noticing your tendency to fill the space with negativity. Instead of, "they are really getting up my nose" try this instead: "That's interesting..."

It's a good circuit breaker to get you back in the vicinity of complete acceptance and compassion.

3. Embrace with light.
As you listen to someone, really listen. Absorb all of who they are as they tell their story, feel their energetic vibe, the unique marvel of a creation that is the full sum of who they are.

You can imagine a white golden light settling around you, holding the two of you in sacred communion of having a shared experience.

Kind of makes the water cooler conversations more interesting, doesn't it?

What about you? What do you do to build great rapport? What have you noticed about folks you love hanging around with? What is it about them that makes them magnetic? Please share!

Something new (and cool!) for deliberate creators

2011-08-29T04:34:00.000-07:00

I've had the very awesome opportunity to engage with Stella Seaspirit in my growing community of deliberate creator practitioners. I asked her a few questions about her energy and manifestation practise. Enjoy what modern magic can do for you!

Who do you help?
I help deliberate creators who feel an affinity for the witch (unisex) archetype and are enthused by the role of natural rhythms, ritual and magic.

What do you help them with?
My intention is to assist magical people to refine their manifestation process so that they can cast confidently and powerfully.

How do you do that?
I created Magick By Design as a digital coaching consultation to uncover subtle hindrances and polish manifestation skills. In a nutshell, I ask you to select one current project that you are shaping and would like deeper awareness, clarity and momentum on.

I then intuitively read your energy and pinpoint where elements (Earth, Air, Water, Fire) are out of synch and provide guidance about crafting your energy optimally to align with what you wish to give form to. Frequently I incorporate impressions regarding colour and the chakras. All of this information is structured into a cohesive, practical strategy for you to implement.

What is a contemporary witch?
In my opinion, a contemporary witch is someone who practices the Craft of deliberate creation by shaping her/his reality through projecting her/his will. A witch brings the intangible realm of Spirit (energy) into form through inner magic by embracing perceived flaws, exploring both light and dark aspects of Self, creating a vision for her/himself based on her/his passion and inspiring others to do the same by becoming a living example.

I have compiled a unique glossary around this topic here because semantics can be pretty subjective.

How does your practise match with law of attraction principles?
Moulding energy and directing it by casting spells is very similar to law of attraction practise in that you are monitoring you thoughts, attitudes and emotions and focussing your attention on your intention.

I say that Witchcraft is more accurately described as energy-craft because when you cast a spell you set an intention flare out into the ether and step into the feeling of attaining your desire, essentially melding this vibrational frequency into the very fibre of your being and creating room for it within the matrix.

Witches seek to attain a sense of connection and balance with universal flow through the corporeal experience of the four cardinal elements, observing the turning of the seasons, the waxing and waning of both sun and moon and their relationship with the stars.

By aligning with natural rhythm and utilising energy streams that support the nature of their intentions, witches transform their energy to match what they seek by becoming one with it in the present moment.

What is your favourite spell?
I am very much a fire witch at heart so my favourite method for spell casting is candle magic and usually involves burning something *cackle*. However, I always advocate the method that best suits my clients’ talents.

What do you recommend for people who want to explore their magical side?
Magic isn’t something you do. It is something you are. Self-knowledge guides and indicates where your energy is, who you are being and what frequency you are vibrating at. Stop and check in with yourself throughout the day to see if you are sparkling in congruence with your intentions.

Opportunities will always present, often they are disguised at first and only once you seize them do you realise the snowball effect it has in taking you toward your desire. Sometimes you only notice the magic that unfolded in retrospect.

Many who are attracted to manifestation give up because the results are not instant. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t ~ the elements you work with are constantly mutable and so are you!

What do you want people to know about spells and witching?
Spellcasting is a means of symbolically altering consciousness and re-arranging quantum waves. Altars act as portals to guide your manifestations to this plane and metaphorically create room for them in your life.

Living a magical life does not mean that you have to cast spells for every little mundane experience or even at all. Rather it is thinking magically that brings magic into your life.

Magic is a gift for us to influence our own lives. You cannot create for another but you can send them an energy gift by seeing them as they would like to be.

A lot of people are hesitant about exploring the Craft because of the sinister stigma that has been assigned to it ~ this tactic was employed to keep people disempowered and in a state of reaction instead of response to their circumstances. Claim your power. Bring to light the sparkle in your soul.

About Stella
Stella Seaspirit is a life long Hedgewitch offering a fresh outlook on Witchcraft in a simple to understand way by blending spirit and matter with flickering candles, smouldering incense and enchanted herbs that enthuse the Source-ress within. Get your FREE Witchification Kit here.

3 Ways To Be A Superstar

2011-08-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Every time a client sits across from me I can see their Inner Rock Star. Clear as a bell. I see their passion, their vigour, their purpose, and the most awesome version of who they are. Present tense.

They don't always see what I do. At first.

Why do we get stuck in self-doubt? Why does self-confidence wobble?

Perhaps a better question, and the one I'm going to answer, is what do we do about it?

Here are 3 ways to be a superstar, with rock-solid confidence.

First, where does confidence come from?

From evidence of achievements. We do something, we get results. Like when I did my first abseil: I had no idea I could actually walk backwards over a cliff hanging onto a rope and not fall to the ground in a smushed mess, or at least dissolve into a puddle of weeping quivers. Then I did it. And then I knew. Instant confidence that I could overcome even the scariest of situations.
From others' approval and recognition. A sad but true fact is that we often take much more stock in what others say about us than we do about ourselves. And when they say nice things that can give us a boost of esteem.
From our own recognition and self-validation. This is the most important aspect of self-confidence, and the one mastered least easily.

When a client shows up with wobbly self-image and their inner rock star needs some coaxing to come out and play, this is what I prescribe:

Rack up the achievements: write out for each decade of your life, ten things you are proud of that you achieved/experienced/accomplished. Once you start this list you can really get on a roll.
Solicit feedback: I ask clients to ask 3-5 trusted friends/associates/family members to tell them/write an email about what they most value and appreciate about them. To get over the awkwardness factor I tell them to say, "As homework from my coach". Feel free to steal that one.
Top the charts: this means, put yourself at the top of the priority list. Relentless self-first practises will boost resilience, reserves, and confidence. You need to be ruthless with this one: exercise time is sacrosanct, meditation time/you time is booked in and zealously adhered to, moisturise, pedicure, manicure, get enough sleep, and so on. Look after you. Nothing happens in your life without the 'you' part.

And a Bonus extra strategy - the "I am awesome because..." challenge.
Finish the phrase with 50 answers. FIFTY! Go for it. You are fabulous.

Zoe

p.s. These are the kinds of practical and easy-to-implement strategies that are rockin' the world of the folks who bought my latest fabulous program, Get Wealthy Healthy Hot Manifesto.

And you can still get it at the special launch price until Friday 27 August (Canberra) - that's Thursday US eastern.

Get your copy here now.

How do you turn dog pooh into chocolate cake?

2011-08-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

This was a question asked by a client about how to 'make the best of a bad situation'.

Great question. The short answer is - you don't.

Dog pooh is dog pooh. You don't want it. You don't like it. And you certainly don't want to eat it.

'But hang on', I hear you say, deliberate creator's shackles up, 'what we resist persists, right?'

Right.

Only this is not about resisting. It's about re-focusing. It's about using dog pooh as a springboard to get to chocolate cake.

Resistance looks like this: "I don't like this. This is why I don't like it. It makes me feel bad. This dog pooh [substitute job/ relationship/ body/ bank account] is wrong, wrong, wrong. I hate it. I really want something else other than this horrible dog pooh. Gee it stinks.'

This is where you dig into the dog pooh. You've got it all over you and the more you try to get it off your sneaker, the more it grinds stubbornly into the grooves. You are walking, talking dog pooh mess.

So what's one to do about the dog pooh doo-doo?

"I've got to get better at feeling gratitude in this situation," says the client. "Maybe that will help shift things."

Codswallop! If you're neck deep in dog pooh there is no way on Buddha's green earth you are going to find a modicum of gratitude that is genuine. You'd be spitting chips through gritted teeth, at best, and rightfully so.

Gratitude, shmatitude. Now is not the time for gratitude.

No, my dear readers, the only thing to do when you're swimming in the brown stuff is to wave your appreciation wand.

What can you find to appreciate about the dog pooh bath? If nothing else, it shows you exactly what you DON'T want. Hallelujah - thanks for the clarity.

Appreciation, as compared with gratitude, is an active focus, and one that puts you back in the driver's seat. Gratitude implies a sense of owing someone something. And when it stinks, the only thing that would make it worse is having to say 'thanks' for the mess.

So appreciate the wahzoo out of the doggy doo doo. It's warm. It reminds you that you are having a very real life experience. It reminds you that you need to do something to get out of the mess. It can be used as fertiliser. Flies will like it. Frogs like flies. And frogs are good!

Once you're down that path you'll notice less and less dog pooh. You'll see more and more flowers. And soon that path will waft with the delicious odour of a sumptuous cake....

Hmmmm...your favourite...chocolate. Now that IS something to feel grateful for.

So boys and girls, that is how you let doggie pooh pooh lead you to chocolate cake.

Zoe

p.s. Need some more re-framing tips?

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How to Use the 'F' Word For Deliberate Creation

2011-08-07T19:34:00.000-07:00

As a deliberate creator, you've likely put together a vision board, do regular affirmations, play 'act as if', and other fun things to put you in resonance with your goals. I call this rehearsing success and it's essential for paving the manifestating highway.

But what happens when you hit what feels like a huge road block? Like, oh say, getting cancer. I've been there. And my sister is there now. It sucks.

But dwelling on the suckiness does not line you up with what you really want. Like perfect health. Or abundant wealth. Or strong inner confidence.

This is what DOES work. The 'F' Word.

That's right, all three of them.

1. There is nothing like the vigorous use of 'F**k it' to crack the saddies.

Irritated with a co-worker? F**k it.
Frustrated with stubborn stains, broken lightbulbs, and look-at-me cellulite? F**k it.
Bored to tears with your job? F**k it.
Scared about your next round of chemo? F**k it.

Saying F**k it brings a huge avalanche of relief and instantly makes you feel better. Like the naughty kid who just burned his homework. Yeah - F**k it.

The essence of the F**k it principle: Just because you're given a sh*t sandwich doesn't mean you have to pretend it's chocolate. But you DO get to choose how you feel and think about it. You're in charge. It's your life. It can be uber cool even in the face of a mountain of doggy doo doo.

And that's how you start get alignment with what you really want. Remembering how utterly awesome and fabulous YOU are as a deliberate creator, eternal being, and Awesomeness High Priest/ess extraordinaire.

More on this juicy concept here.

2. George Michaels sang it first: "You gotta have Faith..."

Faith is the utter expression of inner peace - of knowing truly that all is well, all will be well, and nothing can ruffle your petticoats (see F**k it tip above).

You only ever have two choices in any moment, no matter how dire, how unsavoury, how ridonculously annoying: you can choose either FAITH or FEAR.

Same amount of energy required for each choice. One feels good. The other one makes you barf.

I pick feel-good. You?

3. When Fear works for you.

Abraham recently commented that they don't advise 'feel the fear and do it anyway' approach to problems. That's like saying, "I have a pick-axe in my backside but I think I will try and dance the tango anyway."

Feelings are not meant to be ignored, bulldozed, or dragged around with you.

Feelings are your guidance system. They tell you when you are thinking thoughts and focusing in a way that supports your goals and dreams (i.e. you feel good, happy, easy, free, excited).

They also tell you when you are off-track, thinking and focusing in a way that is like said pick-axe - dragging you down and utterly unproductive. That is what FEAR is - pick-axe in your underpants.

So look the Fear in the eye and say, 'Thank you for pointing out what I don't want. What do you want instead, my friend? '

Then focus on that. Put your thoughts on that. Invest your energy in that.

It should feel like removing a splinter - sweet relief. And THAT is moving towards home sweet home.

Happy 'F' word play-time!

Zoe

p.s. Want some more juicy tips? I'm holding a very rare free community call this week on Wednesday August 10, "Get Wealthy, Healthy, and Hot!". Grab your spot now.

How To Upgrade Anything

2011-07-31T00:26:00.000-07:00

We had our new bedroom shutters installed this week, along with our new handmade wooden bedhead. The room is re-painted and looks a million bucks. It's a serious upgrade from the dark, awkward room I suffered in for years.

This particular manifestation is of special interest because of what I did and did not do, and just how effortless the whole things was ... once I let my vibe line up.

And that's the crux of the story: the vibe. For most of the nine previous years I've grumbled about my bedroom - the cupboard doors that I couldn't get into properly, the dingy blue colour, the stupid ugly side lamp, the saggy bed, the awful green drapes...I don't think there was one thing I liked or enjoyed about my bedroom.

And then there were the endless conversations with Rob about, "when are we going to get new sidelamps? Can we paint the room a different colour?" and occasionally, " gosh darn it I hate these blasted cupboards!" (slam, crash, pout).

No surprise nothing changed for nine years. Yup. Nine!

Sheesh.

Finally I worked out that nothing was going to change until I changed how I thought and felt about the situation. What we resist, persists: case in point.

So this year I set the intention of upgrading my bedroom - even wrote it on my Manifestation Map for this year.

Then I went about appreciating the bedroom - as it is. No call for change, no call for something different. Just silent messages of love and appreciation for the comfort the room has given me over the years, for the love shared there with my wonderful husband, the good nights' sleep, the wonderful wooden floorboards, the great view.

Appreciation without expectation. Ease and grace about it all. Relief finally from the angst vibe.

I swear to Buddha not one week after I started this daily shift in focus, Rob comes home and says, "Let's knock out the cupboard." And followed that quickly with plans to paint, ordered a new headboard, shutters, and a carpet form India. Not one word of suggestion from me - he just jumped in.

And I did not lift one tiny finger to help with any of the construction, painting, and other bits. Nothing! Brand new upgraded bedroom that I LOVE and I did diddly squat.

Now that's pretty cool manifesting!

Detach. Appreciate. Relief. Allow.

I am going to see how I go with doing the dishes ;)

Love and miracles,

Zoe

P.S. If you want to check out the free call "Get Wealthy, Healthy, Hot" I am doing for the Inner Compass community on 10 August, go here now.

Put Your A** On The Line

2011-07-19T02:15:00.000-07:00

As I sat nervously waiting for my first radio interview about the fun run, Branson's tip about putting your a** on the line bubbled up. He meant that if you care that deeply about something, let go of your small ego fears of being judged or rejected, and step up and get your message out.

I always tell my clients if they face a difficult public speaking engagement to remember just that - it's not about you, it's about your message.

And my message for the fun run was: there is life after cancer, as my own story attests, that a small group of concerned citizens can make things happen and make a difference, that you don't fight cancer but surrender instead to the journey to wellness, that Australian researchers need our financial support to find better treatments and preventative measures to translate cancer into 'no big deal' status.

This was not about how I sounded on radio. This was much more important than that.

And here's the thing: we've all got a story to tell, a message to give, a project to deliver, a mission to achieve that makes a difference.

And that's worth putting our a**, and ego, on the line.

To your butt, hanging out on the line,

Zoe

3 Insights for Goals and Desires

2011-07-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

I pulled the card "Turning In" from my Zen Osho tarot card pack today. It means that when you stop desiring, when you stop thinking and simply observe the mind, then you achieve a certain type of freedom.

But how do you blend the compulsive, lush, richness of the desires of a glorious physically-based life? Should we all just shave our heads and meditate?

Surely there is more to life than stillness and reflection? Like chocolate chip cookies for instance. The enticing crunch of nutty bits combined with the tantalising soft sweetness of the chocolate lumps...

So where do goals, desires, and reflection collide and coexist? And will this help me lose weight?

This is what Osho has to say:

"All journeys are outward journeys, there is no inward journey. How can you journey inwards? You are already there, there is no point in going. When going stops, journeying disappears."

"When going stops, journeying disappears."

This is either utter brilliance, or complete twaddle. Not helpful, Osho, my man!

So here's my little crack at the dichotomy between desires and desireless-ness, and whether we want either.

Insight 1: Desires (and their more project oriented cousins, goals) keep us lusting for life, for more, for growth, for adventure, for expansion. Desires = good, juicy living. Yeeha! Keep on filling Santa's list with those sweet little wishes.

Insight 2: Unfulfilled desires, when yearned for, really suck. Unfulfilled desires = longing, frustration, despair. Attachment to desires creates longing that can be awful and heinous. This happens when we have a subtle shift from thinking, "It would be so fantabulous to own a little seaside mansion to romp around in" to, "If I don't get that seaside mansion my life is a train wreck."

Hmm... perhaps that is a little extreme. Let's try something different. How about,

"It would be fantabulous to double my income." That somehow morphs into something like, "If I don't double my income I am a failure."

It's the stories and meanings we attach to our desires with the little nasty hooks of, "if...then", and "when...then" that upset the apple cart on desires. It turns them from tingly fantasies into screeching monkeys nipping our backsides.

Desires in their most potent form are really just appreciation in advance. No attachment, no expectation, no longing. Just eagerness.

Insight 3: There is a role however for 'desirelessness', or the 'turning in' bit that my Osho card prompts. I think of this as centering, releasing, or just simply being. It's about changing the frequency of thoughts so they are more fluid, less provocative, more calm.

When you're in this state you can be more open to whatever IS. And when you're there you experience peace and freedom. You realise you do not need anything more than this moment. This moment is enough. It is utterly and completely satiating.

And it is only then, in that moment when you are feeling utterly complete, that you are truly ready to allow desires to float in, knowing that they are appreciation in advance, that you don't need them, that they are there to enhance the is-ness of the moment.

So what do you think? Goals - are they good or bad? What are the pitfalls and the benefits? Are there any other aspects that are worth mentioning? Please feel free to chime in on the comments page.

Zoe
p.s. Speaking of goals, if you have a RUNNING goal, please join us this weekend in Canberra at Stromlo Park for the rescued Canada Day Cancer Council Fun Run. Details and registration here.

Top 3 Tips for Effective Influence as a Conscious Leader

2011-06-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

How do you influence? Do you have a persuasive argument and a gift of the gab? A scintillating personality? Deep pockets? A resourceful and responsive network?

All those work. But not as well as influencing from a deliberate, conscientious, thoughtful, and loving way.

This week as I toured through the Murray Darling Basin on a leadership program I had organised, I met many leaders in various positions of authority. Some good. Others better. This is what stood out for me.

Effective Tip #1 for Influencing as a Conscious Leader: Know thyself.
To know when your hair stands up, when your heart is squeezed, when the boredom blanket is pulled over your eyelids, when your smile dial get turned up high, when the issue taunts you like a bone to a hungry dog - this is to know what pushes your buttons, and what soothes the soul.

Knowing your trigger spots can help you rise above reacting, and allow you to respond instead. Otherwise people see the whirling dervish of your escalating emotions - not your message cocooned inside.

Effective Tip #2 for Influencing as a Conscious Leader: Be hardline on content, softline on process.
Gandhi had a softly, softly approach - one of non-violent social change. He was deft in negotiations and influence. But he was a stubborn - unrelenting in his quest for an independent and united India, and religious tolerance and peace.

Likewise with Mother Theresa - the epitome of gentleness, she commanded the respect and ear of the world. She never waivered from her quest of equitable care for the disadvantaged.

And so too the Dalai Lama - he is consistently soft in his approach in negotiations and message - peaceful, loving forgiveness, compassion - these are his ever-present catch-crys and guidelines. And they are also solid and unmoveable.

Soft on bringing people along, soft on convincing others - never coercing - and yet always hardline on values and vision - never breaking or compromising what really counts. That is the hallmark of a truly effective, and conscious, global leader.

Effective Tip #3 for Influencing as a Conscious Leader: Lead with love.
There is nothing more influential than being in the presence of someone who has deep-seated passion and love for their purpose, place, or people. This can galvanise hearts worldwide. It is the language that calls us all back home - back to who we really are - creatures of love and light.

What are your tips for being more influential? Please share by leaving a comment.

Thanks!

Zoe

The Dalai Lama and Chickens: Insights

2011-06-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

What does the Dalai lama say when he's got just half an hour? He speaks from the heart. Here is what he said (and I hung on every word):

1. Money is important but it is not the absolute source of happiness. Love, compassion, and forgiveness give you the emotional strength and freedom to be happy. My thoughts: abundance of money is the offspring of happiness, not the cause of it.

2. There are two forms of compassion: biological and trained. Biological compassion comes as a result of attachment to others, like your parents and children, and in response to others' behaviour and attitude. In other words, conditional compassion. Trained compassion is where the compassion is directed towards the person themselves, irrespective of their behaviour or situation, in genuine concern for their well-being. It is a learned and developed capacity. It is basically unconditional compassion.

It is trained compassion, unconditional compassion, which is the more powerful and important version of compassion. And it can be developed through awareness and practise. Test your level right now: can you forgive and accept someone as a human being, regardless if they've murdered, or tortured or maimed someone else? If you said 'no', then you've got to develop a little bit more of your compassion muscle.

The Dalai Lama says differentiating the human being from their behaviour is key. This is how he can love and accept and feel compassion for his Chinese 'brothers and sisters' while at the same time condemning the behaviour of murder and torture. The two are separate. And seeing the human being apart from the action, gives the opportunity to forgive and promote healing - and therefore change. My thoughts: nothing really hurts when you see it through eyes of love.

3. When asked, "is the world getting better or worse?" the Dalai Lama said, "Better, definitely better. There are huge positive changes that have occurred around the world due to non-violent focus and change and that is a good thing. Science and spirituality are coming closer together and that is a good thing. There is increased caring in the world and that is a good thing. Human rights and the right of self-determination are now being discussed openly on a global scale, and that is a very good thing indeed."

4. When asked, "what kind of leadership does the world need right now?" he answered, "contemporary leadership needs more compassion, more love, more forgiveness. And biologically, women have more of a natural capacity for these things, therefore the world needs to encourage more women leaders, to bring more compassion on to the world stage."

5. The chicken story. When asked, "why is there such cruelty to animals and how can I become more forgiving and compassionate towards those who torture animals?" The Lama said, "when I was in India, they had chickens stuffed into cages and right beside the vegetables. They treated the chickens like they were vegetables, with no regard to their experience, no compassion for what it would be like to be the chicken. So educating others about the welfare and experience of animals is a very good thing - this brings compassion. I think also that being a vegetarian is a very good thing also."

Compassion and care for animals is certainly in the news lately, and I welcome all discussion on it here.

As a vegetarian and enthusiastic chicken owner, I also support the care and consideration of all sentient beings.

What do you think? What does the world need more of?

Zoe

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3 Great Leadership and Self-Development Books for June

2011-06-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

If you want great results, you need great behaviours/habits, beliefs, values, focus. So how do you cultivate a winning and positive attitude? Sometimes it's born from your environment (if you are very lucky): your parents taught you all about how to identify your soul purpose, were encouraging in every way, taught you how to live in line with your values, and gave you excellent experiences.

Even if you did have this idyllic upbringing, learning and growing is a natural state of being. One of the ways I love to evolve is by exposure to other great leaders, and through great writers.

Here are three awesome books that will definitely expand your thinking.

1. "Losing My Virginity" by Richard Branson
What an awesome story! Some of the things I discovered were: Branson has a fear of public speaking (amazing but true), he had many failures including his first venture the journal Student, he made every business decision based primary and mostly on the metric 'is it fun?' Reading about the evolution of the Virgin brand is the evolution and expansion of a human being's capacity to dream, dare, and bring people along with you. Rating: awesome.

2. "The Spark, the Flame, and the Torch - Inspire Self. Inspire Others. Inspire the World" by Lance Secretan
This is one of the most accessible leadership books I've ever read. Plus, it has the easiest and most powerful methodologies for determining your 'life purpose' that I've ever encountered: start with what you consider the 'terrathreats' - the one or two things that are at the root cause of humanity's concerns. Summarise in one word if possible. Next, identity its exact opposite - this becomes your 'terrafix'. Play with the terrafix as a statement, and you have your life purpose and destiny. Cool, huh? Secretan follows with more practical and easy to sift focus on your calling and character, values to lead by, and how to lead and inspire others. An excellent read for all people - leaders in the home, community, life, and business.

3. "The Answer" by John Assaraf
This is the best read I have found that explains beautifully the quantum physics principles behind the law of attraction and how these blend in a practical way with business development. Assaraf's 'neuroconditioning' process is also easy-to-understand and easy to implement - and it works! The basics: get into a feel-good state, imagine and visualise in vivid details what you want to create/be/experience, repeat several times per day with affirmation statements and other subconscious reminders. Since I started implementing his strategy, I have had a significant change in revenue and an influx of new, amazing opportunities. It works and I am definitely a fan.

Got some other good reads to recommend? Please let us know in the 'comments'

Zoe
p.s. We explore and study all aspect of deliberate creation and leadership each week in the Co-Creators of Awesomeness - join us for a 3 week-trial for just $1. www.cocreatorsofawesomeness.com

Live export ban: a failure of leadership

2011-06-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Like many, I was sickened by the ABC's Four Corners report on cruelty to animals footage in Indonesian abattoirs. [warning: video footage is very distressing].

From a leadership point of view, the decision is obvious: stop the cruelty now. It's the humane thing to do.

If only leadership decisions were that black and white. Unfortunately not. And that's where the reactionary blanket ban by Minister Joe Ludwig and the Australian Government is an example of leadership failure.

Let's consider the relevant points:

Animal cruelty at some Indonesian abattoirs is unacceptable and unnecessary. Agreed.
Everything ought to be done to eradicate this treatment. Agreed.
There are cultural differences in slaughter. Traditional halal slaughter requires slitting of the throat of a live animal. It is believed that a cut with a sharp knife is the most painless process of slaughter. The translation of this theory into mass-production practice has been warped into torturous processes. Agreed.
Some halal practitioners don't believe in stunning animals first because it is not seen as halal. (Animals need to be lain down and faced towards Mecca). Getting Indonesian processes to change their practises will be difficult from a cultural and financial point of view. Agreed.
Livestock Australian businesses knew about the conditions in Indonesia and did nothing. Not quite - Meat and Livestock Australia and Livecorp have been working on changing cultural beliefs, conditions, and practises in Indonesia.
Stopping all trade to Indonesia is the right thing to do to force movement on this issue. Maybe. Maybe not.

Let's consider the consequences of this decision:

A ban of the trade now strands thousands of cattle which if they gain 1kg, will no longer be accepted in Indonesia for slaughter. Where do these cattle now go? This is what many businesses are trying to sort out. They may end up being shipped south east in Australia to other abattoirs.
If these animals are shipped south then the market will be flooded, and prices will crash - affecting many southern Australian businesses.
There are no Aussie abattoirs for export in the top end within 2500kms - it would bankrupt many northern end businesses.
And with the sudden drop in supply in Indonesia, people who live on $2 per day will now have to contend with the potential of soaring prices.

It's called the domino effect.

And it may not even have any effect on the methodology of slaughter in Indonesia.

Questions for consideration

Should animal welfare take precedence over economic sustainability of businesses and communities? I've been to northern Australia and seen first hand the remote communities that rely on this trade. The blanket ban will crush their business, and cause long-term ripple effects in already susceptible and fragile communities.

Does it really have to come down to animals versus people?

So where does the moral responsibility lie?

With the Indonesian slaughterhouse workers? Yes. The torture and mistreatment is not acceptable - in any culture.

But what about the slaughterhouse providers who believe they are doing the right thing according to God's law? How do you say to them, "Australian values are more important than Indonesian ones"?

Changing values - even what appears to be such an obvious black-and-white issue of torture - is not easy. It takes education, persistence, and commitment. And a deep-seated belief that YOUR values are indeed better than someone else's - values and beliefs that have evolved over thousands of years, upheld by millions.

And what of the Australian businesses and organisations who have either been turning a blind eye or using a 'good enough' approach? They have to settle with their own consciences with this one. Some businesses have already pulled their cattle from various abattoirs. Still others ship only to abattoirs in Indonesia where the conditions and methodologies are to international humane standards, set up Australians and managed by ex-pats.

The blanket ban has prevented even the businesses that are doing the right thing from shipping their animals overseas.

The decision looks good - it appears to be taking the high moral ground. But it's punishing those who are doing the right thing as well those who aren't.

So why else does a vegetarian who has been meat-free for 26 years come to disagree with the blanket cattle ban?

I've been to a feedlot this year (where cattle are sent pre-slaughter to fatten up). I was nervous beforehand - worried about seeing distressed and tortured animals. What I saw was the complete opposite. The cattle were the happiest animals I have ever seen. Content, well-treated, peaceful even.

The feedlot staff love the animals and look after them. There is not the callous, disassociated attitude I expected.

Plus distressed cattle release adrenalin in to the flesh which apparently makes the meat tough and yucky to eat. More incentive for the process to be humane.

And then they take them for slaughter and eat the meat.

This part I still find weird. That's the vegetarian part of me that just can't take the leap to eating dead flesh. I do eat fish however, so I too, am no moral saint.

The real issue however is the ban does not solve the problem. Indonesian abattoirs will continue to slaughter the animals the way they have been doing. Maybe with some financial pressure change might come. But this is basically a clash of cultural values. A moral impasse. There is deeper work to do than just economic blackmail.

Here is the leadership failure:
The government's knee-jerk reaction - the blanket ban - without full and due consideration of all knock-on effects of the decision and without supporting businesses who are managing the trade in a humane way. Those businesses are being affected too and not being supported for their ethical decisions.

So what should we do?

As a deliberate creation practitioner, when faced with massive contrast (contrast: something I loathe and find deeply distressing) I know that the only solution is to focus on what I DO want (not on what I don't).

I want the humane treatment of all animals -whether to be harvested for food, or as pets, or as service animals.
I want all businesses involved in animal flesh production to treat their animals with care, respect, and dignity - in all parts of the rearing and harvesting.
I want all businesses to maintain their own moral compass and make decisions based on that, rather than on metrics.
I want my government to show proactive big-thinking leadership - to accept and manage complexity of international values system, alongside animal welfare and economics.

We all want a better, more peaceful world. It starts with acknowledging the wrong thing when we see it, and move immediately to what we want instead.

This is not about a witch hunt; this is about leadership in shades of grey where our moral code is challenged. It's not easy. But we can do better.

#1 Leadership Priority: Vibrational Hygiene

2011-04-28T04:23:00.000-07:00

There's one key thing you need to look after first, each day.

Your team?

No.

Your task list?

No.

Your family?

No.

Your emails?

Definitely not.

Your #1 priority is YOU.

More specifically, your focus, and hence your feelings.

Yes, friends, your personal feelings are your #1 priority each and every day.

Your feelings are your vibrational signature and this is what determines ALL of your results - from relationships with colleagues, team, clients, friends family to sales and winning business.

You know this to be true, right? Think of your worst bad mood - how much did you accomplish that day? I reckon not much. Or if you did get results, I'll bet it was bloody hard work.

There is an easier way.

So what options do we have for managing our feelings each morning? Along with brushing your teeth, try a little vibrational hygiene.

Here's my routine:

Before I leap out of bed and head to the gym, I give my life a big dose of appreciation. I bask and revel in all the fabulous goodies I've got going on. Plus cuddle the hubby.
Next, after my cup of tea, I indulge in a bit of Abraham-Hicks meditation which whisks me into deep, relaxed lala land.
Then I visualise what I'm creating next and go all goose-pumpy with excitement.
And lastly I read through my affirmations for a rev up.

Then to the kitchen for my pre-workout egg white omelette and oats. Yum-scrum!

If you've got a vibrational hygiene routine that works for you, please share! I love getting new tips.

Raw and Naked: Leadership in the Real World

2011-04-12T02:14:00.000-07:00

I've had two outstanding weeks with wonderful leaders - of organisations, industries, companies. I was facilitating a leadership program for seasoned leaders - focused on deep self-awareness, new and expansive ways of thinking, and profound shifts required in leadership for our world.

Our world - volatile, inter-connected, dizzying rates of change in all areas, and much in need of values-driven leadership.

We looked at futurist thinking - spotting global trends and forecasting their effects on our own patch of grass. We tried out creative thinking processes - for fresh ideas on old issues. We pondered the evolution of the leadership maturity framework and how we can evolve our thinking and being in the world for deep social impact.

And beyond the profound intellectual insights, these truths resonated:

Leadership is a profoundly personal path. It's arduous, turbulent, unknown, and risky.

One thing is assured: when you don the mantel of leader, you are profoundly changed forever.

To influence as a leader you need to scrub yourself clean - of old thought patterns and beliefs that limit your confidence, shackle your confidence. This is a scary process - you must burn away the old comfortable skin - and be willing to stand naked, in the raw truth of who you really are. And there, in your bare glory, be ok with all that you find - vulnerabilities, desires, foibles, failings. Strengths, courage, and passion too.

It is only when we show deep compassion and acceptance for ourselves that we can create that space for others. In our shimmering honesty, we invite the truth from others. We build a space of openness, of courage, of integrity.

That's the kind of world I want to live in. A world where we value the strength it takes to show vulnerability, we honour the courage it takes to admit being wrong, and the courage to risk making mistakes.

I don't want the world we often find ourselves in: the one where titles masquerade as leadership, where bravado falsely implies courage, where values are waved as flags instead of embraced as the architecture of our soul.

I want to live in this - the real world - of truth, compassion, and integrity where leaders stand raw, naked, profoundly honest and utterly inspiring.

Do you know a leader like that? I'd love to hear about them. Maybe it's you! Please share yourself with the world!

How to Influence the World

2011-03-05T15:26:00.000-08:00

This was in my inbox today and I thought it was worth sharing:

In his book 'Power vs Force', the author David Hawkins calibrates
people's emotions from levels 20 up to 1000. 20 being Shame which
is perilously proximate to death. It's destructive to emotional and
psychological health, and makes us prone to physical illness.

At the other end of the scale at 700- 1000 is enlightenment. This
is the level of the Great Ones such as Krishna, Buddha and Jesus.
It is the peak of the evolutionary consciousness in the human realm.

All levels (which could be classed as vibration levels) below 200
are said to be energy draining, and below integrity. These vary
from Guilt (30), Grief (75), Fear (100) up to Pride (175).

People feel positive as they reach Pride level. However Pride feels
good only in contrast to the lower levels. Pride is defensive and
vulnerable because it's dependent upon external conditions, without
which is can suddenly revert to a lower level.

At the 200 level, power first appears. Courage (200) is the zone of
exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination. People
at this level put back into the world as much energy as they take;
at the lower levels, populations as well as individuals drain
energy from society without reciprocating.

Further levels include willingness (310), Acceptance (350) and Love
(500).

This level is characterized by the development of a Love that is
unconditional, unchanging, and permanent. It doesn't fluctuate and
its source isn't dependent on external factors. Loving is a state
of being. This is the level of true happiness.

Interesting facts from the book -

* The concept and theories behind these experiments were
conducted over a 20 year period using a variety of Kinesiology
tests and examinations.
* Kinesiology has an almost certain 100% accuracy reading every
time. It will always reveal Yes, No, True, and False answers.
* Collective Consciousness: These experiments reveal that there
is a higher power that connects everything and everyone.
* Everything calibrates at certain levels from weak to high
including books, food, water, clothes, people, animals, buildings,
cars, movies, sports, music etc.
* 85% of the human race calibrates below the critical level of
200.
* The overall average level of human consciousness stands at 207.
* Human consciousness was dangling at below the 200 level (190)
for many centuries before it suddenly rose up to its present level
some time in the mid 1980s. Hence Nostradamus's end of the world
predictions may have been avoided (he made his predictions at a
time when human consciousness was at below the 200 level). For the
world to stay at levels below 200 over a prolonged period of time
would cause a great imbalance that would undoubtedly lead to the
destruction of all humanity.
* The power of the few individuals at the top counterbalances
the weakness of the masses.
* 1 individual at level 300 counterbalances 90,000 individuals
below level 200
* 1 individual at level 500 counterbalances 750,000 individuals
below level 200
* 1 individual at level 700 counterbalances 70 million
individuals below level 200

In other words, according to David Hawkins, as a co creator of the
world if you vibrate at 200 and above you will be helping to raise
the consciousness of mankind by influencing the field that connects
everything. Not only will you be improving your life, you could
also help create a better world for everyone.

Isn't that worth looking into?

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I'll talk to you soon.

Iain

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Your Most Important Business Relationship

2011-02-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

“I feel like giving up. Throwing in the towel. This business thing is really, really hard.”

Large pregnant pause. You could feel the silence building like the prelude to a hurricane.

My coach said, “If you treated your husband like you treat your business – always pulling the rug out, throwing your hands up in disgust, ready to walk out at the drop of a hat – what do you think would happen?”

My turn for the chasm of silence to fill the room.

“Well I guess we'd get a divorce eventually. Who wants to live under that cloud of uncertainty?”

The thunderbolt struck, the clouds parted, and a chorus of angelic squirrels bleated in perfect harmony.

“Oh my godfather. And that's why business is so hard. There's no commitment. There's no vows. There's no honouring, loving, treating with respect, willingness to grow, patience, nurturing.”

I got it. I was playing the tease with my business. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold. How can you gain trust and traction with that kind of tension?

Short answer: you can't.

Your business, like any other relationship, needs trust, commitment, an ocean of love, and a willingness to grow and adapt with each other.

Your business is one of the most intimate things you will engage in. It is the full expression of your inner being, the physical evidence of your creative power, the manifestation of your passion and purpose in the world.

You can't treat it like a two-bit tart and expect to get Big Love in return.

If you were to imagine your business as a person right now, how would you describe your relationship with it? Hot, passionate, in love, exciting? A comfortable and distant friendship? Or a solid, trusting, reliable, and creative partnership that constantly delivers rewards and allows for creative discovery together? Is it a burden, a worry and a stress or enriching, enlivening, and invigorating?

If your relationship with your Business, call her Betty, is less than fabulous, here's what you can do to shift things back on happy trails.

Appreciate the wazoo out of Betty's current state. If she's flabby, love her for being lush. If she's skinny and all bones, love her for being there for you. Assure her you'll pay better attention and make sure she's properly attended to. If she's lazy and sluggish, let her know that together you can find the buzz and spark again.
Celebrate Betty's achievements. Sometimes you can forget how much Betty actually does for you, day to day. Seriously, as humans we get more excited about our dog not pooping on the carpet or 'sitting' when being told to sit than when our business delivers something juicy, or gives us the opportunity to be creative in the world. Little things count as much as big things – every day.
Hold the image of Betty as fully self-actualised in your mind's eye. Holding the image of Betty in her highest incarnation not only inspires you, but it reminds you that all things grow, have a compulsion to fulfil a bigger vision. Small child into beautiful wise woman; acorn into oak tree. Love and nurture the little Betty at the same time as you look forward to experiencing the fully evolved version of Betty.

And don't forget the other key relationship in business – the one you have with yourself. More on that one later. In the meantime, make love not war with your lovely Betty.

Desiderata

2011-01-30T14:30:00.001-08:00

DESIDERATA
*Back in the office today - this was email number 6 out of 400 to go through - and a nice one to start the day with :)
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

What do you believe?

2011-01-13T04:11:00.000-08:00

There is a pretty exciting and intense discussion going on at the Good Vibe Blog about the 'money class divide' and who is responsible for it. A rough break down of the various perspectives goes like this:

1. The few at the top are keenly interested in keeping the status quo where the few benefit the most and orchestrate events and infrastructure such that the rich really do get richer, and the poor stay poor.

2. You can experience what you focus on - abundance or poverty - but YOU get to choose, no one is forcing you into one or the other.

As for me, I subscribe to option #2. I don't like the victim mentality and the helplessness that occurs from believing #1.

So it got me thinking, what do YOU believe?

What thoughts do you have about life, the Universe and everything that bring you comfort, give you strength, and allow you to live an empowered, purposeful life? (which by the way you can get from believing option #1 - many get a sense of outrage and are galvanised by a sense of social justice from #1, and go on to do good things in the world.)

Here is my short list of empowering thoughts that light me up (and I would so love to hear yours too!):

I believe:

There is good in everybody, even the 'bad' guys like crazed shooters and crack dealers.
There is more abundance and prosperity flowing in our lives than we can ever be consciously aware of with our tiny brains.
When someone does you wrong, the best solution is to send them some love (especially when you want to smush them into tiny pieces).
People who are experiencing tremendous wealth don't deserve it any more than anyone else - they just know how to dial in to abundance.
Further to that, every one is deserving. Every single person can have their heart's desire.
Not everyone wants a ferrari and a house on the Cote d'Azur.
The Universe does not discriminate - it gives you exactly what you expect and ask for on a consistent vibrational level.
Energy, Angels, and spirit guides are real. And friendly. And want to help - any time.
Bad stuff that happens is just good stuff not yet revealed or understood.
We are all a lot thinner, richer, sexier than we think we are.
Beliefs are just thoughts we repeat over and over until we feel they are true.
Beliefs determine our focus and feelings, and hence our manifestational experience.
We can change beliefs. Any time.
The world is a beautiful, friendly, and loving place.

What do YOU believe that supports you? I would love to know!

Zoe
P.S. The Self Improvement Gifts promotion is still happening - over 800 goodies to explore:

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Your Life Certificate

2011-01-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

This is the perfect time to get centered, focused, and absolutely resonant with your deepest purpose. There is so much good stuff going on in the world right now!

Enjoy this video as a lovely reminder, to get you in the groove:

http://selfimprovementgifts5.com/go/464/vid

To your complete Awesomeness,

Zoe

2011 Intentions

2011-01-01T11:56:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! With all its newness shining like fresh moonlit snowbanks, the first day of the year is the perfect time to set clear and focused intentions. I choose 'intentions' rather than 'resolutions' as it holds more creative energy than the stop and start doing aspect of resolutions.

Here are my New Year Intentions:

I intend to be more peaceful each day; to soak up the present moment rather than rush to or wait for the next.
I intend and choose to drop judgment - of myself and others. To live and let live and feel ok with that. To look after my own patch of grass rather than covet, stress or worry over what others are doing.
I expect to honour my body with healthy choices, rather than war with it with 'shoulds' and 'ought tos'.
I choose to be the person I aspire to be now, before my circumstances change. I choose to feel prosperous, wealthy, abundant, successful, peaceful, and fulfilled now - as I know and expect my circumstances to evolve to reflect my inner vision.
I undertake to be a beacon of joy and happiness, pleased to see everyone, generous in spirit to all, a pleasure to be around, and an inspiration to others to live in delight each of their days.
I choose to be kinder to myself - to be gentler in my thoughts, to be more loving in my self-acknowledgment, to be more generous in time and energy in things just for me.
I intend to love and honour my business, my clients, my readers as I would a child - with love, respect, patience, and delight.
I intend to have more fun, to be more playful, to dance in the supermarket aisles, to be goofy, and act like a dork - just because it's fun.
I intend to play more board games, watch more movies, read more fiction, hike more mountains.
I intend to speak my truth - especially to myself.
I intend to start each day glowing from the day before - feeling the momentum of happiness building like a wave behind me.
I intend to wake with love in my heart, and to fall asleep with deep appreciation of the human experience and all the miracles and wonders of this planet.

Having made these intentions, the goals and and targets for my life and business take on a whole new pleasurable hue - like the unfurling of a sparkling path in springtime sunlight.

How about you? What are your intentions for this year? I'd love for you to share them with us here.

I wish you plenty of joy and peace as we ease into January.

Gratitude vs Appreciation

2010-12-05T22:04:00.000-08:00

This is what I heard on the latest Abraham recording:

"While the word gratitude and appreciation seem almost the same; when you look them up in the dictionary there won't be too much difference, but gratitude is what realists do and appreciation is what those in the Vortex do. Because in gratitude there is the looking at what has been overcome only in looking at it you're not overcoming it, you're in it in that moment. In other words it's laced with the struggle that you're talking about having left behind. But you haven't left it behind. We're nitpicking here we know but there is a HUGE vibrational difference in gratitude and appreciation. One's in the Vortex, the other one isn't...Gratitude is old news!"

Yay! I smirked with delight because this finally explains why I have found so much personal resistance to the idea of needing to 'express gratitude' in order to do the right thing in manifesting. It always felt like a 'should', an obligation. To me needing to be grateful implied a sort of debt owed, an obligation, a requirement for humility.

Appreciation just sounded so much more fun, free, and devoid of any requirement for exchange. It's like a vibrational thumbs up. It's forward focusing, pure energy.

Does that mean I'm not ever grateful? I am. And when I am fully in that feeling of gratitude - for being alive, for being healthy, for having good friends, it feels really delicious - but it's also when I am feeling the most appreciative and thumbs-uppy to my life. So the gratitude that feels good is really pure appreciation.

Humble gratitude is what I felt when people visited me when I had cancer and brought me gifts. I was grateful - truly - for the effort is their support of me. I was purely receiving and the only energy I could generate was gratitude. I had no space for any other emotion or action!

Now appreciation - it's firy, sparkly, and moving.

What do you think? Gratitude or appreciation?

Vortex Vibe Shifters

2010-11-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

I've had some glorious days this week - full of sunshine, peace, baby chicks, lunch time runs with magnificent views. I was firmly in the Vortex of feel-good.

And then whammo! I got knocked out. I woke a little uninspired, a little unmotivated, a little ho-hum. Still feeling good, but not great. And then I got news my friend had her first baby! Yay! Great news! I felt delighted for them.

And then I felt miserable for me and Rob. "It's not fair we don't get to have a baby." Tears, the whole lot.

Sheesh. I kind of thought I was over this story!

And all the while I was thinking, "Are you really going to let stories and circumstances dictate how you feel? You should be grateful just to be alive - remember you had cancer! Arren't you grateful for your life - I mean, it's pretty awesome isn't it?"

Beating myself up for feeling bad - good one! And so I just cried a little more, great rivers of mascara dripping over my white skirt.

So what do you do when you feel rotten, and you don't want to feel rotten anymore? You want to get back to feeling awesome?

Here's what I did:

1. I cleaned something. Nothing like the sight of a sparkly bathroom tap to shift in to 'satisfaction' (so much better than self-pity!)

2. I gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted, not what I 'should' be doing. And right then it was surfing facebook.

3. Hung out with the chooks. Life is pretty simple as a chicken: scratch, peck, preen, repeat. It's pretty basic and it reminds me that 'this too shall pass' and being alive is enough gift in itself.

4. All is well. Really, all is well. I am breathing, I have a roof over my head, loving husband, health, friends, great computer, ... And then I was back in the Vortex.

We can all get so attached to our old stories of 'woe is me' and 'ain't it awful', and all they do is make us feel crappy. They serve no purpose whatsoever, except to point out how much better it is to feel good and appreciative.

Some stories are easier to let go of than others, but with practise it gets easier.

I'd love to hear your tips for changing stories and getting back into the Vortex. Please share in the comments :)

When Taking Action Works For Your Health

2010-11-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

There's a lot of debate in the deliberate creation world about when/if to take action towards your goals.

Some say no action is required, just focus and feel good. Others - like Abraham and for whom I have the deepest respect - say that you can't help but take action when you are in the Vortex of feel-good because you will be so inspired to do so.

When it comes to health, I am all for taking action - before you get caught out and find yourself in a world of painful 'contrast' as Abraham calls it.

Having been through cancer, I only discovered the power of deliberate creation after I had a few body parts removed and then doused with chemotherapy.

My advice with regards to taking action and health - is do what honours your body and feels good. Eating fruits and veggies feels good. Exercising feels good. Drinking water feels good. Eating chocolate also feels good. Eating too much does not.

It's pretty basic, and it works. When you feel good, you are healthy. When you feel bad (stressed, worried, frustrated, angry, depressed) you don't, and you tend to get sick. So focus on choosing feel-good thoughts, and taking feel-good action - just because it feels good!

For my American reader and friends there is another resource I've discovered and wanted to point out to you:

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Author Brandi Funk explains how a little bit of action now can save you THOUSANDS. No joke when cancer treatment can run you into the tens of thousands - even here in Australia.

With or without insurance, in hospital or in full health, Brandi has advice you can't afford to miss.

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My sister lives in New York and I am well aware of how good we have it here in Australia and how crazy the medical system is over in the USA. So for my American mates, please check this out - you deserve to be healthy, and you deserve to save wherever you can on staying that way.

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P.S. Even though I don't live in the USA I am getting a copy myself so I can both learn a little more AND get access to the awesome bonuses.

The Secret Switch For Detachment

2010-11-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

The number one reason people get in the way of their manifestations is...drum roll please...getting hung up on outcomes.

It's the catch-22 that has every deliberate creator wringing their hands and pulling out hair from time to time.

I mean what's the deal Universe - how bullcrap is it that we need to focus on what we desire, get excited about it, and then not worry about it happening.

It's like placing a luscious chocolate cheesecake in all its glory right there within reaching distance, and then as soon as you stretch out for a bite, the cake is whipped away. Then you're expected to 'forget about it', 'focus on something else', 'express gratitude', 'let it turn up when it's supposed to', yadyadayada. When all you really want is the freakin' cake!

It's this kind of knicker twisting that has people frustrated and confused, yours truly included.

Here's how I've managed to trump the 'detachment' trick.

When I was on my last group magnetising call with the Co-Creators of Awesomeness and Good Vibe University, I noticed there was a strong 'attachment to outcomes' vibe happening for many. Meaning, many felt their happiness, relief, and joy was strongly attached to their desired goal.

Understandable - after all the promise of chocolate cheese cake just isn't as sensory satisfying as that first bite. And that's the whole trick to the manifestation game - to be satisfied with just the promise while simultaneously appreciating whatever else is going on for you right now. To be content - right here right now. I know you know that already. I know that you practise it relentlessly - good, keep going.

However, when it comes to goals related to our businesses, us entrepreneur types can get our vibe skewed in weird directions when we forget the most important aspect of our business related goals.

And that is?

Who we are serving.

Any business manifestation always serves three purposes:

1. Our own gratification and reward for our creative self-expression - in the form of money, accolades, recognition, and so forth.

2. The people we are serving/inspiring/helping by the full expression of our work.

3. The contribution of the higher vibration of love to the planet and Universe.

What I was sensing on the group magnetising call was a focus on the first purpose: our own gratification.

This was the same trap I fell into the week before when I got soooo attached to my own manifestation goals - wanting them to appear desperately. When I stopped for a moment and thought about the people I was trying to help, I felt instant relief. This wasn't just about me - it was about what my programs, what my work can do for others, the freedom it helps them to experience, the confidence that fuels their soul, the joy they allow themselves to feel, the way they can experience their own real magnificence.

This switch in focus was huge. First, it felt so much better to flow love instead of angst, Second, it helped me fine-tune my intentions and get in alignment with my soul-purpose. Third, it helped me release attachment to my original sales goal That part did not matter as much as it did to connect with the purpose and the people, and to feel THAT.

And by the way, this switch led to new clients, and almost double than expected tax return.

An you know what? Those very cool manifestations were just icing on the cake compared with the awesomeness of flowing love to my clients, readers, and colleagues.

What are your tips for detachment? I would LOVE to hear them!

P.S. The next Group Magnetising call is this week - for members of Co-Creators of Awesomeness and the Good Vibe University

Four States of Flow, and Potatoes

2010-11-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Everything is energy. Y'all know that already. But are you paying attention to the state of your flow of that energy?

Here's some cool things to note:
There are four states of flow, when it comes to money, energy, and pretty much everything (like love, happiness, joy, and potatoes).

Flow State 1 - FLOW: More potatoes coming in than out. Yippee! This means we've got more potatoes to play with.

Flow State 2 - EBB: Less potatoes coming in than going out. Wahhhh!!! This is where it get stressful - our pile of potatoes seems to diminish.

Flow State 3 - STATIC: Same amount of potatoes coming in as going out. Static. No change. Boring.

Flow State 4 - STUCK: No potatoes coming in and no potatoes going out. Stagnant and yucko. Possibly stinky.

So we all know what state we want to be in - FLOW, right? More potatoes in than out - gimme 'taters!

Here's the reality:
Potatoes (and money, and energy, and turtles) all have cycles. There is always ebb and flow. Energy fluctuates and moves about. It's dynamic.

It's groovy to know also that energy cannot be created or destroyed - it just changes form. Like potatoes come from dirt and turn to French Fries. All energy - just changing form.

So here's how to be more in flow than ebb, static or stuck.
If you're in FLOW - savour it, milk it, relish it, and suck the juiciness out of it. This will keep the vibe amping in the right direction.

If you're in EBB, just know that all things move in cycles and take this time to take stock, renew your energy through rest and relaxation, reflection. Then start the energy cycle going with some gratitude and appreciation, and doing something for someone else, just because.

If you're in STATIC or STUCK, you've got some stuckness that needs shifting. Start with your physical self - get a massage, some acupressure. Then do some de-cluttering. Create a vacuum in your space so there is room for more. Clear your calendar. Experience doing nothing for a while. Then go for a jog. Shake it up baby! You need ti be dangled by the feet and spanked to feel more alive! Get some more of that CHI goodness whipping through you. Soon you'll be flowing again.

Got some wisdom on moving into FLOW? I would love to hear it!

Money-rexia

2010-10-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

"When is enough enough? You seem to be always striving for MORE and MORE." Excellent question asked me by Kim Falconer.

Dang - thought I'd kicked the 'when...then...' habit! I realised if that I am always looking forward, I'm not ever savouring present tense. And we don't live in 'tomorrow' - we live in NOW.

I think it's a common problem - chronic dissatisfaction with what you manifest and a continued craving for more and more, always unfulfilled.

Like someone obsessed with their weight - always striving to lose more - until their perspective of 'reality' is skewed. There is no appreciation left - just dissatisfaction and dis-ease.

This happens with MONEY too - always wanting more, never being happy with what is. And 'what is' is often fabulous!

Money-rexia.

So how do you get your perspective back?

For me, it was looking backwards.

I thought about how little money I've had previously - earning $400 per month working at Outward Bound. A big deal was having over $100 in my bank account.

And yet I was so prosperous! I travelled globally, did the Canada-Australia trip every one to two years, always had plenty of food, plenty of clothing, plenty of adventures, including a mountaineering trip to New Zealand.

And now I earn many multiples of what I did then, live in a glorious house, have a stunning wardrobe, and a lifestyle full of travel, lovely wines and restaurants, and I can have anything I want.

I've manifested tremendous wealth and yet there is a craving for more...

So what's the problem?

Not appreciating it fully. That's how you develop money-rexia. When you don't pause and soak it all up, revel in it, appreciate it, feel grateful for it, then you're on to the next thing, and then the next.

If you don't feel like a Queen now,

then there is nothing that you can manifest

that will ever make you feel like a Queen.

Unless you can be satisfied and appreciative right here right now, then you've got money-rexia.

I'm not knocking a keen anticipation for more good stuff - that helps us to grow - what I do want for us - for me - is to enjoy the good stuff now AND the good stuff to come.

That's called 'bliss-ipline' and it trumps money-rexia any day.

Affirmations from "Creating Money and Attracting Abundance"

2010-10-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

I just ran a class based on this fabulous book - and wrote down all the affirmations. They're rockin' so thought I'd share with you!

Affirmations from

“Creating Money: Attracting Abundance”

by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer

You are the source

I am the source of my abundance.

I focus on what I love and thus draw it to me.

My thoughts are loving and positive.

My choices and possibilities are expanding every day.

I love and trust my imagination.

I am an unlimited being.

I create anything I want.

I picture abundance for myself and others.

My dreams come true.

Becoming abundant

I live in an abundant universe.

I always have everything I need.

I radiate self-esteem, inner peace, love, well-being, and happiness.

I create money and abundance through joy, aliveness, and self-love.

Everything I do brings me aliveness and growth.

The process of getting there is the quality of being there.

Discovering what you want

I know the essence of what I want and I get it.

Everything I create fulfils me.

The things I create are even better than I imagine them to be.

My energy is focused and directed towards my goals.

Magnetising what you want

I am increasingly magnetic to money, prosperity and abundance.

I create what I want with energy.

Good things come to me easily.

Following your inner guidance

I trust and follow my inner guidance.

I spend quiet reflective time; I hear my inner guidance.

I am always in the right place at the right time.

I follow my highest joy.

I honour myself in everything I do.

Allowing success

I always choose the path of most light.

I honour my integrity in all that I do.

I am a success.

I allow myself to feel successful.

I congratulate myself often.

I forgive myself, knowing that I did the best I knew how at the time.

I give myself permission to have what I want.

Love getting there as much being there.

Transforming your beliefs

My beliefs create my reality.

I believe in my unlimited prosperity.

I choose beliefs that bring me aliveness and growth.

My beliefs create good things for me.

I deserve abundance.

Letting money flow

Money flows in my life.

I am prosperous.

My energy is open and flowing in every area of my life.

I always have more money coming in than out.

I allow myself to have more than I dreamed possible.

Coming out of survival

The universe works in perfect ways. It always serves my higher good.

My debs represent my and others' belief in my future earning ability.

My value and worth are increased I everything I do.

All my experiences are opportunities to gain more power, clarity, and vision.

I send love to my fears.

My fears are the places within me that await love.

I speak of success and prosperity. My words uplift and inspire others.

I live in an abundant world. All is perfect in my universe.

Trusting

The Universe is safe, abundant, and friendly.

I expect only the best to happen and it does.

I trust my ever-increasing ability to create abundance.

I accept prosperity and abundance into my life.

I trust that everything comes at the perfect time and in the perfect way.

I surrender to my higher good.

Miracles

I demonstrate love with action every day.

I am linked with the unlimited abundance of the universe.

Miracles are love in action.

You can do what you love

As I do what I love, money and abundance flow freely to me.

I have a unique and special contribution to make.

Everything I do adds beauty, harmony, order, and light to the universe.

I am in charge of my destiny. I am the builder of my life.

Do what you love and money will come.

Discovering your life's work

I honour and use my specials skills and abilities.

I find my life's work by looking withing rather than without.

I have a wealth of valuable skills and talents

I now have my ideal life.

I know what I love to do an I do it.

I allow myself to think and dream in unlimited ways.

You have what it takes

All answers are within me. I follow my inner wisdom.

I am valuable person. My path is important.

I value my time and energy.

My path and my life's work are my highest priorities.

I accept and love myself for who I am right now.

I honour and value my creativity and ideas.

I am special unique person.

My days are filled with fun and meaningful activities.

Believing in yourself

I give myself permission to be all I can be.

I commit to my path. I choose aliveness and growth.

I follow my heart.

I can have what I want.

I invite and allow good to come into my life.

I flow with the current. I know everything happens for my higher good.

I am alert ot my opportunities, and I use them well.

I release anything that is not for my higher good and ask it to release me.

I love and honour everything I create.

I let go easily and trust that nothing leaves my life unles something better is coming.

Moving to your higher path

I change the world around me by changing myself.

I love and bring positive attitude towards everything I do.

I create what I want easily and effortlessly.

I am magnetic to my higher good and it is magentic to me.

I am abundantly provided for as I follow my path.

Honouring your value and worth

I know my value. I honour my worth.

People value and honour my work.

I always give my best.

Joy and appreciation

All the money I spend enriches society and comes back to me multiplied.

All the money I sepnd and earn brings me joy.

I surrund myself with things that represent my aliveness and energy.

I appreciate all that I am and all that I have.

I appreciate myself. I give thanks for my wonderful life.

Giving and receiving

I am open to receive.

Everything I give to others is a gift to myself. As I give, I receive.

Every gift I give serves and empowers other people.

Everything I give honours and acknowledges their worth.

I give generously to myself.

I serve others o the bet of my ability in everything I say and do.

The greatest gift you give others is the example of your own life working.

Clarity and harmony

I experience clarity and harmony in all my energy exhanges.

I feel good about all the money I spend.

I am always being guided to a higher solution.

I listen to the wisdom of my heart.

I always look for ways to make the other person a winner; as I help others win, I win as well.

Having money

I have abundance in every area of my life.

My prosperity prospers others.

Everyone's success contributes to my success.

I send others thoughts of their increased prosperity.

My money is a source of good for myself and others.

Savings: Affirming your abundance

My savings act a magnet to draw more abundance.

I am financially independent and free.

All my money is energy awaitign my command to create good in my life.

All my money is working for me to increase my abundance, joy, and aliveness.

I choose to live an abundant life.

Juicy Prosperity Affirmations

2010-09-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

I've been fielding a few prosperity and abundance questions lately, and so felt inspired to share some electric affirmations that can help amp up the vibe around money - and ask for your suggestions too!

Remember to get into the Vortex (feel good) first - and then say your affirmations. Lead with feelings always.

Affirmations for Amping Up Abundance
Big gobs of free easy money are flowing to me now!
I am in the constant resonance with prosperity and abundance.
I love money and money loves me.
I am swimming in an ocean of abundance.
I am completely deserving of massive wealth.
As I serve others abundance flows in my life.
The world is an abundant and friendly place.
I've got celestial friends in 'High places' - and they are ready and willing to help me anytime.
I am gracious and grateful for all the massive blessings I am experiencing and have already experienced.
I am Awesome and money loves my Awesomeness.
Money reflects my inner vibration - the more I feel good, the more it dances with me.
Attracting money is easy.
Money is the tip I get from the Universe for living my purpose and feeling outrageously glorious.
I attract clients who love what I do and value my work as it serves their higher purpose.
I am a magnetic money machine!
Money greases the wheel of service and contribution and I welcome it now.

Afformations
These questions are a great way of recruiting the servile unconscious brain to amp up your prosperity and abundance magnet.

How did I get so wealthy?
How am I so abundant each day?
How do I attract such fabulous high-paying clients who love what I do?
How do I magnetise so much incredible wealth in my life?
How do I tap into this feeling of incredible awesomeness and success each day?
How do I keep feeling outrageously fabulous day after day?
What did I do to get so lucky?
Why do I find it so easy to attract wealth and abundance?
Why does money love me so much?
Why do clients love what I do so much?

Got some more? Let's hear them! Let's make this a powerful list we can all enjoy :)

Spanking and Other Customer Service Tips

2010-08-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

It started off badly. I took a phone call from a sales rep who talked really quickly and wanted me to sign up on the spot for the unbelievably-amazing-super-duper-offer. My spider senses were tingling, and I backed off and used the great pause button, "I must talk with my husband."

Not taking 'no' for an answer she persisted - "Shall I call him for you?" (got to admire that kind of tenacity!) I had a pretty good idea of what he might say to that ('bugger off' comes to mind). So I refused and she promised to ring me back the next day to get an answer.

Rob's response was what I expected, "they're all schemers and scammers". (He's a lawyer - they are suspicious of everybody!) But we agreed if the deal included discounts on hotels in Canada and the US, then we were in. Ok I could handle that.

After more to-ing and fro-ing, I agreed to sign up on the proviso that I had a ten day 'cooling off' period.

But I had a weird doubtful expectation - Rob's pessimism was wearing off on me and I was wondering if I really had been scammed...(and since I know that we get what we expect I shouldn't have been all that surprised with what happened next).

The package turned up, and sure enough it wasn't what I thought I had bought. (And because they don't send you any written info on the package all I had was my rough notes). So I rang up to clarify. It turns out there were no discounts on US and Canadian hotels, but there was a frequent visitor points system thing I could redeem overseas. Since the whole reason we agreed was for the discounts, I felt I had bought something under false pretences.

The very helpful customer service dude assured me someone on the sales team would get back to me within three days to see if they could help me out further.

Two weeks later, and two weeks of Rob pestering, "have those schemers rung you back yet?", nothing.

By now, I was pretty keyed up over the whole thing. I was bracing myself for a fight. Clearly they didn't want to honour the agreement.

Long story short, after several conversations with the customer service rep, and then the sales rep, and then back to customer service, my blood was boiling and I was ready to maim small rodents and gnaw chicken turds with the angst.

Knowing there was no possible resolution in this state of mind, I looked for ways to shift the vibe. So I turned to facebook (ok not ideal strategy to vent your spleen on facebook, but I was desperate for a shift.) I made a general appeal for advice:

"Experiencing extremely poor customer service from a hotel service company -am extremely frustrated!!! Trying to shift the vibe - any tips? (I just want to wring their necks and spank them!)"

And that's when the miracle occurred.

As soon as I wrote 'spank them', I had a little giggle. The image of spanking the sales rep was pretty silly - and pretty far from kick-down-doors-foot-stomping-rage I had just moments before.

That was my doorway out of the feel-bad vibe.

It was only a toenail crack opening in the door of my resistance, but that's all I needed to pivot and change direction.

And then the customer manager called me (I had forgotten all about them as I was laughing about the suggestion from a friend I could spank them instead). The customer manager was kind, helpful, friendly, understanding, compassionate, apologetic, and gave me what I wanted - the refund.

Ahhhh....relief.

So this is where I bring all the learning all together (in case you were wondering about the spanking analogy):

1. Monitor your expectations. I picked up Rob's vibe that all telemarketers were out to rip you off, and I didn't set a better intention instead. ("I only attract people and services that are for my highest good' might have been better).

2. If caught in a funky situation, notice where you are contributing to it. Part of me was loving the drama, the gearing up for an altercation, of being the hero in my own story, good guy versus big corporate bad guy...

I've done drama enough to know that it ends with everyone losing an eye. Or at least a bit of ego. Good reason to try another approach, and let go of fuelling the fire.

3. If stuck in bad-vibe funk-out, shift it! For me it was the use of the word 'spank'. The response on facebook added to my feel-better vibe - the conversation is still going! Right now we're spanking Brad Pitt and Tony Abbott. Haha! I don't even care about the incident anymore, the spanking convo is hilarious!

And that's when you can let the good stuff in - when you are feeling good. Not when you are pushing for a result, or struggling or battling.

And my other customer service tip: if someone wants a refund, just give it to them. You'll do far more to keep the goodwill by honouring their request than trying to keep the sale.

Coach's Challenge:

Whose expectations are you picking up? Where are you getting hooked by drama? How can you shift the vibe? If you've got other vibe-shifters, please share them with me!

Do you need a job or business to create money?

2010-08-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

I got this from a client today:

"Everyone in LOA mode talks about jobs and business... I want my money to manifest outside of my "job". I'm asking for big bikkies to come, but not from my 'efforts'. But nobody talks about this, it's all multiple streams of income, and successful businesss etc etc... What do you think?"

So I consulted the awesome crew at Good Vibe University and here were the responses:

From Frank Butterfield and the Communion of Light:

"Here's the COL reply:

Your job is never your source. Your Source is your source. And your Source has an infinite number of ways to deliver to you whatever you may be wanting.

If you are thinking that your job or a "stream of income" or your spouse or your parent is the only way that money can get to you, then this will be exactly what you experience.

However, your thoughts are elastic and they can be expanded with a little bit of coaching.

You can find ways, if you just sit down and ask for it to happen, to summon thoughts that demonstrate to you the greater set of possibilities that always exist even if you don't know what they are specifically.

For, you see, having a nice non-specific sense of endless possibilities and feeling how open and freeing that is can go a long way to helping you bridge the gap between where you are in thinking that it has to be this way or that way and where you want to be, which looks more like a delighted look on your face as you uncover yet another amazing way that the Universe was able to deliver to you more of what you are wanting.

There are no limits, other than those that you yourself impose, that control how much or in what way you can receive funds or love or joy or connection or any other thing that you are wanting to experience.

And, as you begin to imagine that there are lots and lots of ways to receive money that you just don't know about, we would also suggest that you begin to feel your way into receiving. Feel the delight and surprise that comes with finding another unexpected channel of your good. Feel the deliciousness as you see another wonderful way that the Universe has of delivering your good to you. Feel the satisfaction that you will have when you realize that you have expanded your own personal possibilities. And, most of all, feel the confidence that you will feel as you are realizing that all of this is happening because you simply asked.

If you can feel the impact of what you are wanting before what you are wanting actually arrives, then you are assured of it coming to you.

---

Now, what are "bikkies?" ['Bickies' are Aussie slang for 'bucks'/'dollars' - so Big Bickies is Big Bucks]

***
From Maria Lesetz, Lovin' LifeNow

Well, I LOVE COL's answer (but of course), but here's a few additional thoughts I had when I first read this:

1) Money can come from absolutely ANYWHERE -- doesn't have to be your job or business. Here's a few examples of money that I attracted that have nothing to do with my "job" but everything to do with my alignment with joy:
1. Found money on the ground in a store
2. My partner inherited money from a relative she wasn't even in touch with and the only way they could find her was to search me on the internet! And then 2 years later she received MORE money from this same inheritance because there was "left-over" money after all the accounting.
3. I got an unexpected check in the mail from a charity calendar I purchased a while ago and I won $150 ... etc. You see the list can go on and on and on and leveraging the Law of Attraction in your favor has everything to do with RECEIVING that money that comes from different sources.

2) All the marketers out there that talk about "multiple streams of income" and "marketing effectively with Newsletters, blog posts, ezine article submissions, social media networking", etc. miss one critical thing ... IF YOU ARE NOT ALIGNED WITH YOUR DESIRE, all the action in the world is not going to make it come quicker to you! YOu must feel JOY first. You must do the things that light you up not make you feel like "it's hard" or that there is "lots to do". It's all about Lovin' Life Now and feeling good with every step you take.

So if your client is "feeling good" on a regular basis and reaching for the feeling she will have when she receives money "outside of her job" and reaching for that feeling RIGHT NOW in her present moment, well then, it is LAW that all she wants (including bikkies -- have no idea what that is but I am assuming it may have something to do with large sums of cash!) will come to her!

HUGS to you, Zoe and sending abundant "feel good" vibes to your client!"

***

From Jeannette Maw, The Good Vibe Coach

"You guys already know my answer ... ... if your client is willing to skip jobs and businesses as a source of money, why not skip money as the vehicle for the joy/abundance/freedom (or whatever they're wanting from the money), too?'

***

From Mary Kebel, Self Help Goddess

"I'm going to agree with everyone else here and say that absolutely NO!!!

A job or business is not necessary in order to make money... especially since my neighbor just stopped by to drop off a $50.00 American Express gift card for watching their dog the other weekend when they were out of town! Talk about an easy 50 bucks!! Playing with an adorable puppy all weekend long, and getting free kisses for doing absolutely nothing!

There are tons of other examples like this, but this one literally just happened to me so I had to log on and post it!"

***

And now my client's followup email - SUCCESS!

"I did have a bit of an amazing "coincidence" in buying the apartment... I was very keen on it, but felt it to be out of my budget.. I had to have a mortgage and as I didn't have a job and really only wanted to work part time anyway, was agonising about it. At the time, the market was booming and I felt that if it went to auction I would not get it. So I wanted to put in an offer, but was torn about it.

Well, at that time I got a letter from my half sister (my father remarried very late in life after the death of my mother and was living in WA so I didn't really know his other family...) which had been delayed because it had gone to my old address. It asked me to contact her. She told me that her mother had died and left something in the will for her. (All my fathers money and estate had rolled over into his wife's affairs and I had assumed that I would not get anything when she died as she had 6 children of her own). I immediately felt on hearing this, that the universe was telling me that there is more ways that money comes to you than you can begin to imagine.... so I put in an offer.

The amazing thing is, I didn't have any idea how much I was getting, just that there was something (perhaps $10,000) but I felt anything was great and would make a mortgage manageable.

But when the cheque arrived, Zoe, on the day after I settled on the apartment, it paid out the mortgage I had taken out completely. By the time I paid for the removalists it was all gone! The other spooky thing is that I have a belief that I wrote out affirmations that I would receive a cheque for that amount ($67,000) a few months before. There is one diary I can't find since the move and I think its in that one.

So I do believe that this all is true and I am busy trying to use the LOA to the best of my ability. I don't really want to make money from my work as I am working and volunteering in not-for-profit organisations which I love.

I think you have to somehow go into the void to activate it as well. Take a leap of faith.

Thanks for taking the time to reply and I'll certainly stay tuned for further gems..."

~ Edith

Thanks Edith! We look forward to hearing your other very cool manifestations!

Got a great manifestation story? Share it here!

Are You Ready For Your Eggs?

2010-08-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

All three of our chickens have just started laying eggs again after a few months hiatus over the winter. The metaphor for manifesting is too good to pass up, so here goes.

When we got our chooks the expectation was 'thou shalt produce eggs'. We waited and waited and then finally our first, rather small, egg appeared. Maggie was the advanced chicken and her sisters did not follow suit. So we had one egg every two or three days. And then winter set in and there were no eggs.

The temptation was to entertain the thought, 'What a bum deal these chooks are!' Rob grumbled about 'needing to earn their keep', and our first dozen eggs probably cost upwards of $200 after the chook pen, hay, feed and other paraphernalia.

Hint: this is a common manifesting error - waiting for results in order to feel good. It's searching under a nesting chicken and getting your hand pecked. Or digging up the garden to see if the bulbs have sprouted.

But our grumbles were just jokes. We knew the chickens would come good on the deal.

Manifesting Tip 1: Belief. We knew that the chickens would eventually produce some more eggs. But we just got on with enjoying the winter, looking after them, and sweeping up chicken poop.

Manifesting Tip 2: Be happy now, and looking forward to later. I call this manifestation anticipation. It's the tension you need to slingshot a manifestation into existence.

And then suddenly, magically, all three are pumping out eggs and we are scrambling (hee hee very punny!) to keep up with them.

That's when I worked out we hadn't been prepared for the results we'd expected. We'd set the intention for eggs, and got on with having fun. But there is one more important aspect: preparing the way.

Manifesting Tip 3: Prepare the way for your manifestation - make it easy for your goals to come to fruition. Don't turn your manifestation into an unexpected problem you have to solve (and thereby create resistance).

Want more clients? Clear your calendar for them. Make a new folder ready to receive them.

Want more money? Make an appointment with an accountant to learn about where to invest your increased wealth.

Want more health? Plan your new walking routes for when your knee heals from the skiing injury.

Got some more manifesting tips? Share them here!

What's 'Five Star' For You?

2010-07-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

I've been playing with a new Iphone App - a gratitude journal - and it has a 'rate your day' scale of 0-5 stars.

I'd had a pretty regular day and was about to click '3 stars'.

Now wait a minute, I told myself, why only '3'? Why aren't you having a 5 star day?

And that's when it occurred to me, I'm still waiting for circumstances to change in order to feel good.

Ugh. This is a classic problem I see all the time with clients. If you've got a 'when...then I'll be happy' equation going, then you are in resistance and rehearsing the state of chronic disappointment.

You don't get happy when circumstances change! This is because you've been rehearsing disappointment so much that even when circumstances do change, you don't quite know how to adjust. You may feel relief and elation for a little while, but then the old thought and feeling patterns sneak back in. Like the guy who quits his job in a state of misery - happy for a little bit because the relief is there, but pretty soon it's back to 'woe is me'; Or the girl who longs for a relationship, finally gets in one to feel in love for a brief period, but then soon feels unsettled and unfulfilled - relationship over.

We get what we regularly think and feel about.

So when you chronically rate your days a two or three out of five, that's what you're going to get, ad nauseum.

Here's the thing to do (and a good note to myself too!): Make your job to make each day a five out five, regardless of what you are doing, who you are with - by virtue of what you focus on, how you appreciate, how you find fun and pleasure in small moments.

That's it!

Got some tips? Please share :)

Magnetic Leader - Have you got 'blissipline'?

2010-07-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.13

Hello!

Tired of frustration and angst? That's the old school way of hard work to get things done (and I know it well!) Welcome to a new philosophy - 'blissipline'. Read on for juicy tips in today's bite-sized newsletter.

With energy no longer being diverted into the IVF effort, I've had a surge of creativity. Here are some of the cool things in the pipeline: a funky ebook on self mastery, a live event for local deliberate creators who want to amp up their manifesting, and a retreat to the coast in November. I am excited to share this all with you. Yay!

Zoe

***

WEBCASTS

"The 12 Core Dynamics of Greatness"

Thursday, 15 July, 2010 8pm edt New York
Friday, 16 July, 10am, Canberra

I am hosting this call this week at the Good Vibe University. The Core Dynamics developed by Tom Stone map the energy dynamics of common 'problems'. The absence of these problems gives us the dynamics of greatness.This work provides an overview of how we often get stuck - the common patterns of thinking and feeling - that create resistance in any of our manifestations.

Understanding the dynamics makes it much easier to then shift and dissolve the patterns and experience a resistance-free way of being, thinking, and feeling. In this call we'll go through each of the dynamics briefly and then focus on the experiential techniques used to dissolve the blocks. The end result when the core dynamics of common problems are resolved is that you end up with the 'the core dynamics of greatness'.

Some benefits of this work include:

Always trust and act on your intuition
Be free of the influence of the past and concerns of the future
Be totally present, living in the moment, in the Now
Be free of being judgmental about yourself and others
Be free of habits of getting lost to the grip of emotion
Have the capacity to feel anything and everything
Be completely self-sufficient and independent
Have an depth of self-esteem and self-worth that makes them a non-issue
Live in a state of unconditional love of yourself, others and all of life
Live in tune with the flow of nature, "in the zone" all the time
Maintain a deep inner sense of peace and equanimity all the time
Be liberated to live the fullest possible expression of your unique talents and qualities
Be completely clear about your purpose and respond spontaneously to the needs of each moment with the fullness of your being

Dial in instructions: Phone Number: (724) 444-7444 Call ID: 74534

Or stream it online: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/74534

Past webcasts available at the Magnetic Leadership Centre resource page. Not a member yet? Join here.

***

MAIN ARTICLE: "Have You Got 'Blissipline'?"

I recently watched a marvellous video series from a Malaysian super-entrepreneur,Vishen Lakhiani, on what made him successful. His key point was that it's not marketing, strategy, product, service - it's all about mindset. Yippee! I love having my philosophy and strategy demonstrated in a big and bold way.

There were some fantastic nuggets in there, and my favourite is 'blissipline'.

Here's the juice on 'blissipline' that will really float your boat.

First, you need to know that there is a fundamental tension for achieving all goals that demands rigorous attention. This is:

The tension between appreciation of current reality and looking forward to the future reality.

I call this 'manifestational anticipation' .

It means loving where you are, who you are, what you are doing right here right now (even it really sucks the big wang) and looking forward to what's next with delighted expectation.

There are some key strategies to implement to master the first part of this equation.

Because let's be frank, the only reason you want something new in your life is because you are not that excited about what's here right now. Abraham calls it 'contrast'. Contrast is a good thing! it shows us where we can grow and what we would like to experience next. It's an irritating springboard. If it wasn't irritating we wouldn't change anything and we would still be wearing nappies.

So here's the part where people get tripped up all the time (myself included). How do you create delight in current reality when at best it's irritating and at worst, a serious pain in the butt?

The key is cutting the energy that fuels focus on what you don't want. So quit complaining about that big old butt or that empty bank account or that phone that never rings. Start telling a new story about it all. Like how things are changing, like how that butt keeps you warm at night, like how an empty bank account makes room for so much more to come in.

Appreciation and gratitude gives you another kick in the right direction. The much-Oprah-lauded gratitude journal keeps you firmly pointed downstream and the right manifestational anticipation zone.

Celebrating successes and lots of giant pats on the back also create a keen sense of acceptance and loving what is.

Can you feel your vibe rising even as we talk about this stuff? Woohoo!

But the real high-vibing strategy is 'blissipline'.

This is a relentless practice of bliss in all things that will have you loving everything from dog pooh on your shoe to to tea stains on your favourite jumper to that blank bank account.

Blissipline means that you focus on making all your activities fun and exciting. Everything you do, do from a place of relish and enjoyment.

Even washing the bathroom. This is how I turned bathroom cleaning into a fun, bliss-filled event. First rumble of thoughts started with "I really need to get a housekeeper again, this is taking too much of my time, I am going to have to fight Rob again on this one..." Blah blah blah. Same old bad news story.

WOOP WOOP! Bad vibe alert!

Here is the 'blissipline' intervention. If you can't change it now, make it fun now.

So I cranked some house cleaning dance tunes and scrubbed the tub naked. I was giggling the whole time - who knew that tub scrubbing could be so titillating! Hee hee!

Blissipline is the art and focus of managing how you feel, and setting the dial to 'awesome' every day.

It takes practice and effort, especially if you are clearing up long-standing habitual woe-is-me stories. That's the 'discipline' aspect of blissipline.

But isn't blissipline as a concept so much more delicious than 'discipline'? That's because the payoff is in the process, not the end result! With discipline you are doing something to get a result: exercise at gym to get hot body. It implies uncomfortable effort for feel-good result.

Whereas blissipline is feel-good effort for feel-good results!

It cannot get any better than that!

I'd love to hear how you play with blissipline - please let us know!

Coach's challenge:

Take the blissipline challenge: see if you can turn every single aspect of your day into a blissful experience. Try it for one full day. See what happens! Then tell us about it :)

With love and appreciation,

Zoe

***

RESOURCES

I found some cool little Iphone apps: gratitude journals and vision boards at the happytapper.com.

Did you miss my big 4-0 birthday? There's a fun post on the blog about 40 awesome things and thoughts that will brighten your day.

I am loving my fortnightly downloads from Abraham! The best insights ever from Source.

40 Kick-Ass Thoughts and Things

2010-07-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

I turned 40 last week. Hooray! There is much to celebrate about my 40 turns around the sun. Here are a few pearls of wisdom - and I invite you to share yours (pretty please!).

A breakdown is the declutter of bullshit before the breakthrough. Irritating and painful, but true.
People who drive you nuts are there to bring you back to your true self. Even the nose pickers and interrupters.
Chickens have more personality than you'd think. What else are you missing?
Jealousy is a sign you can be better than you currently are. Admire don't envy. At least, don't envy for too long or you'll get grumpy pants.
You don't need any excuse to be happy. Be the excuse to be happy!
Every day above ground is another day to savour. And eat chocolate and sit in the sun.
Boys look a little funny naked.
Eating snot is just soooo wrong.
'Experiential learning' is a euphemism for f***g up and learning the hard way. At least you won't forget the lessons.
From a quantum physics point of view, there is a little bit Saddam Hussein, Jesus Christ, and Brittney Spears in all of us. Eeeewwww.
Marketing your stuff is really about lining you up with what you love about your own product. You don't love it, no one else will either. I love my stuff!
You get what you focus on. What you focus on expands. So stop staring at your butt! Boobs are a good alternative.
Sometimes getting cancer is the best thing that can happen to you. Ask Lance Armstrong. Or me. I'm five years cancer free, never been healthier, wealthier, or happier.
When your mother touches a raw nerve, she's just doing her job. She's pointing out what you need to clean up, resolve, get over, address, or forget about.
Your worth is not equivalent to the number of subscribers, twitter followers, or facebook friends. That's just decoration.
The vibe rules! Having a good vibe is juicy enough. You don't need it to do anything for you (although it will).
I don't care who you are or how much you love your baby, a nappy still stinks.
You don't need to give birth to feel all the love, compassion, empathy, and support that mothering calls you to express. Otherwise boys would really be screwed.
You can learn to love celery. Especially with peanut butter. Yummm...
Creating your own stripper ass is a noble and worthy cause. May there be more of them in the world.
There are so many delicious and beautiful places to visit in this world. I'll start with skiing in Japan. Or British Columbia.
Even though he was a complete jerk, there is something completely mesmerising about King Henry VIII. What is it?? What does that say about me? Hmm.. maybe I need to work on this one a little.
If you can see Hitler as a human being worthy of compassion and forgiveness, then you are an evolved higher being who owes it to the world to lead others.
Law of Attraction is for real. That means you really are in charge of your life. Are you driving the car, or hiding in the backseat?
You don't need anybody else to believe in Law of Attraction in order for you to have a very, very cool life.
Everything is always happening for your highest good. Especially the things that piss you off.
Feeling good is reason enough to feel good.
Thank you God for sex. And chocolate cheesecake. And kittens. And dry socks after hiking.
Really great things to say to someone else: 'I love you.' 'I hear you.' 'I see you.' 'I feel you.' 'You are worthy.' Never underestimate the power of encouragement and acknowledgment.
Two words that have the power to change everything: "I am".
Angels and spirit guides are for real. You don't need proof! Just go with it - it's fun to believe.
Keep learning - it inspires a lust for life. Just ask George Dawson who learned to read at 98.
We are our own block to success. And our own secret to success too. Which side of the coin are you choosing?
Each person is God in fleshy clothes.
We've all a got a vibrational signature - our default mode of thinking and feeling. What are you broadcasting? Today I'm on content and creative. Think I'll dial up 'joyful and awesome'.
Roger Federer is still number one. Forever. So there. But he still needs me as his coach. Someone please tell him.
"Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl
Belief is powerful. You can live on air if you believe it will work. No joke. But who would give up avocadoes, bananas, chocolate, and sourdough bread?
I love you all. No exceptions. with everything I've got.
I am happy. Thank you for being in my life and sharing your energy with me. I am blessed.

Sending you much love and appreciation,

Zoe

p.s. please share your birthday wisdom with me! I'm still learning - would love to learn from you!

Magnetic Leader: How to let go of worry

2010-07-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.12

Hello!

I've just spent a fantastic week in the Barossa with the Wine Industry Future Leaders Group. They are fabulous - and they are starting to unwind the tangle of issues the industry is struggling with: over-production, poor exchange rate, and competitive imports. So much great wine, so few throats to savour it.

With such a crisis situation, it's easy to get worried and gnaw your fingers to the quick with one catastrophe fantasy after another. As I discovered last week, there is an easier, feel-better way to manage the unknown on the knife-edge. Read on, dear friends.

Zoe

WEBCASTS

"People Who Drive You Nuts (and what to do about it)"

Re-scheduled for Friday 9 July 10am Canberra, that's 8 July, 8pm edt (New York)

We all know them - the guy who talks too loudly on his mobile, the manager that barges in like a bull in a china shop, the corner desk guy with the nasty personal hygiene... Join us on this fun call where we look at the pragmatic and the magnetic way to handle those people who get right under your skin like a nasty rash.

Call in details on a new service - TalkShoe:

MAIN ARTICLE: "How To Let Go Of Worry"

I read in the Good Vibe University recently that when you pray for courage, what the Universe gives you is a situation where you get the opportunity to be courageous. Likewise if you pray for strength, you'll be thrust into situations that require strength.

It's better to skip all that and go for the good stuff: pray peace, love and harmony. Not pray for, but pray it. That means be it, feel it, do it, embody it. You don't need circumstances to give you that experience - you choose it, and then you feel the heck out of it.

It's a handy little tip anytime we get hung up on needing circumstances to give us what we crave. Circumstances don't give us anything - we do that. We get to make up the meaning of whatever happens. I think it was good ole Bill Shakespeare who said, "There is nothing either good or bad that thinking makes it so."

So there.

Except when we are confronted by things that feel BIG. Like, really BIG.

Like the wine dudes whose businesses face bankruptcy if something doesn't shift. That feels pretty big. The consequences are pretty yucky.

Aren't they?

It turns out we can castrophise about anything - big and small - and it all ends up in the same pile of useless emotions that don't deliver anyway.

When has worry ever delivered a better result? Nope - never. It just gave you a bad night's sleep.

So how the heck do you ditch worry?

Here's how I do it. Or rather, did it last week.

Rob and I have been in Melbourne doing our latest - and last - round of IVF. We're both fairly emotionally engaged in the outcome. We would like the opportunity to be parents.

But between the procedures and waiting for the test results there is plenty of time for 'what ifs' to sneak up and strangle you with worry, doubt, and all sorts of nasties.

Hanging in the never-never land of waiting, I turned to the only technique I knew to let go of the worry - one that I learned when I was going through cancer treatment.

Faced with chemo and surgery with no prognosis to really give any comfort, I was left with two options: live in fear or live in faith.

Living in fear seems to be the default setting for most. Living in faith however requires one critical acknowledgment:

This is to know that no matter what happens, even death, that you are truly ok.

To experience this as knowledge in your every cell brings great peace. It means that anything can happen - bankruptcy, disease, miscarriage, and even death - and that at the end of it, you will be completely, and utterly ok. You can handle it. This knowledge comes from the awareness of your true essence as energy - when you break down all your atoms you are just energy. And energy is not created or destroyed it simply changes form and vibration.

Knowing this gives you the freedom to dream and anticipate what you desire. You can let go of worry.

When I was going through chemo the closest I got to this sense of peace (because I admit it was extremely challenging to get there) was to focus in the here and now, to appreciate every little last element of beauty and gorgeousness around me - because this was evidence to me that I was ok - I was completely fine, right here, right now.

So last week when I swung to imagining 'what if' the IVF process didn't work and what that meant - to live a life without kids - I dropped the worry and anxiety and came back to where I was. In the Barossa, with fabulous people, gorgeous food, in a stunning location. Life is good. Right here, right now, just as it is. And I felt some peace.

Your can never really predict how things are going to turn out - often they turn out much better than you imagined, if you let them. Disappointment doesn't figure in this world if you believe that everything that happens is serving your highest good; even the stuff that feels soul bitingly painful at the time.

As it turns out, it looks like our IVF attempt was unsuccessful. And through the gut-wrenching grief that has had me sobbing so hard that I ached all over, I can sense the peace too. I know I'll be ok, that we'll be ok, that a life so spectacular is happening right here for us right now, and I can really feel that. When I'm done being sad, then I'll be asking questions with my coach as to how to make some good-feeling sense of this experience. How to learn and grow from it, how to invite miracles into my life once again.

Right now, I'm not worrying, I'm feeling my feelings fully, and I know that whatever is happening is for my highest good.

And that feels so much better than worry.

Coach's challenge:

What do you worry about? Could you let go of that worry and focus on the present? and do you have any advice for me on this particular manifestation? I invite you to share your wisdom, insight, and advice.

With love and appreciation,

Zoe

RESOURCES

1. Law of Attraction Superhighway

What a fabulous collection of interviews with some leading Law of Attraction coaches. It's awesome. There are some terrific bonus resources as well.

I can't believe I am offering all this for just $47.

Sheesh. You can get in on the offer here: www.loaforcoaches.com

2. The Art of Hosting and Harvesting Conversations That Matter
It's happening this month!

28-31 July 2010. International co-hort of practitioners invites you to the Australian South Coast to learn how to host new conversations for a better future.

Read more here.

Do you see it in yourself yet?

2010-06-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

“Have you emailed Roger Federer yet about being his coach?” That was my hubby's question as we watched the Fed Express waiver at Wimbledon. He's been without a coach for years now. And he needs one.

My response was, “Who - me? Coach the greatest tennis player of all time? The guy who makes squillions? Give me a break. Why would he want to coach with me?”

Hubby scowled and said, “If you don't see it in yourself how do you expect him to?”

Ouch. Darn it – I hate it when my honey feeds me my own words of advice.

But he's right.

If I don't feel and think and believe I am worthy of coaching Federer (or any marvelously famous/wealthy/intelligent/accomplished demi-god) then there is no way I ever will.

It's not like Fed is going to say, 'hey you seem like nice person, I'll give you a chance'.

No way, José!

Federer – or any of our clients – choose us because we are confident, because we know in our bones that our services or products will make a lasting difference, because we are sincere, genuine, and earnest.

People don't buy from us when we hope they like us, or if we wonder if we are up to the job or good enough.

If I want to work with the best and be the best coach in the world, then I don't wait to prove that I am by hoping someone of status and reputation will hire me; I need to be the best coach in my heart and soul first.

I need to see myself as worthy, deserving, and capable now. I need to feel Fed-ready now!

And like Mohammad Ali, I need to sing and shout from the rafters, “I am the best – yeah!”

So what stops us from dancing around in silk boxers punching the air (metaphorically)?

We haven't spent the time and energy envisioning grand designs. We get too stuck in making ends meet that we forget to dream. And dream big.

In fact, I declare henceforth that all sole-preneurs must incorporate a Dream Big appointment for themselves each and every day, followed by some shadow boxing of “I Am The Best”.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

Yeah, baby!

And Fed? It's on like donkey kong.

Magnetic Leader: Guilt and other useless things to avoid

2010-06-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.11

Hello!

I'm writing from sunny Melbourne today (yes - actually sunny!). Rob and I have a week here for our ongoing IVF adventures. Between medical appointments we are cruising parks and eating in fine restaurants. Boy I love food! No breathatarian experience for me!

Next week I am off to the Barossa for the second session of the Wine Industry Future Leaders program where we will be examining in greater detail the challenges facing the Aussie wine sector. And eating some more lovely food. Sheesh I love my life!

This week's pontifications and musings reflect on guilt - one of the most pervasive adult emotions - and the most useless. Be free peoples!

Zoe

WEBCASTS

"People Who Drive You Nuts (and what to do about it)"

Re-scheduled for Friday 9 July 10am Canberra, that's 8 July, 8pm edt (New York)

Call in details on a new service - TalkShoe - to follow.

MAIN ARTICLE: "Guilt and other useless things to avoid"

What do you most regret and feel guilty for? If you said 'nothing' then you are a rare human indeed. Go clone yourself - the world needs you.

Many of my clients are racked by the shenanigans of past woes - real and imagined. It keeps them miserable and self-flagellating.

And here's the crazy thing: they actually think they deserve it.

As if all the 'mea culpa' whining can somehow make retribution for the past.

Guess what people - no amount of suffering and guilt will EVER make up for what happened in the past.

The past is gone. Finito. Finished. Kaput. Done. Dusted. You can't get it back. It's gone. Sayanorra.

So why on earth do you continue to beat yourself up for what happened?

It's due to some demented philosophy of retribution, crime and punishment, eye for an eye, yadda yadda. Cutting off your hand because you cut off someone else's hand does NOTHING to make things right; you just have two people who can no longer hold their knife and forks properly. How on earth does this make things right?

No amount of suffering and retribution will ever make things 'right'. They're gone. It's irrelevant. There is only NOW and NEXT. Not yesterday.

The only way to retribution is to learn from the experience. It's the only way the suffering and past wrongs are transmuted and released.

I think we got the whole idea of prisons terribly wrong. Punishing criminals for their crimes only perpetuates the misery.

Should they be held accountable? Yes. Should they be punished and made to feel miserable? No.

People who commit crimes should be encouraged to learn from their wrongs and to make amends by learning a better, more loving way of being. If we encouraged all members of society to return to love, to return to harmony, to honour and respect life and themselves then the awful suffering of whatever they did will somehow be worth it.

It's not punishment and guilt that rights a wrong; it's forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a pure expression of compassion, and compassion is a pure expression of love.

And who needs the most forgiveness?

You do.

I know you can feel compassion and forgiveness for all sorts of people. But can you and do you feel it for yourself?

In my experience in working with people these last twenty plus years, folks are the hardest on themselves.

How can you love anyone else if you don't love yourself first? And that begins with compassion, forgiveness, and love for yourself.

What are you beating yourself up for? Staying late at work and not spending enough time with your kids? Cheating on your spouse? Eating too much - again? Giving up on yet another project? Self-sabotaging at work to keep yourself from getting promoted? Peeing on your younger brother twenty years ago? Or one of my favourites - not living up to your potential?

All those old woes and past wrongs and your guilt that you wear like a hair shirt do you and humanity a great disservice. The world needs a loving peaceful you - not a miserable, woe-is-me you.

Time to drop the shackles of guilt my friend and step into peace and love.

Coach's challenge:

What do you need to forgive yourself for? Where can you increase the flow of love and compassion in your life? Can you imagine being a leader of love and compassion?

Zoe

RESOURCES

Three Pillars of Personal Power

The most comprehensive and easy-to-follow deliberate creation program that will crack all your old past conditioning and open the doors of possibility.

One of the best programs I have ever put together. It is filled with love and good stuff to help you stay on track - fully present on a loving, peaceful, joyful NOW.

www.threepillarsofpersonalpower.com

The exception shows there is no rule: impossible becomes possible

2010-06-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

How long could you go without food or water? The 'experts' say 3 weeks without food, maybe a week without water.

How about seven decades - seventy years?

Apparently this Indian dude did it:

I started doing a little surfing on the net about this one and learned a little about 'breath-a-tarians' - people who survive on breath alone, gaining energy from sunlight, 'prana' or lifeforce in the breath.

Woah Nellie - it's freaky stuff.

Are these people freaks? (OK yes I think so a little - who would want to give up red wine, chocolate, and cheesecake and triple cream brie? My word, not I!)

So they're freaks in the current context of my experience.

But they're doing it. For real.

They've made the 'impossible' possible.

Which leads me to think, what else is possible?

Every new discovery was once an impossibility - human flight, electricity, the telephone, fax, and email.

It all comes down to belief.

Indian dude can live on breath and yoga and meditation alone because he believes it is so. He has a visceral understanding of his universe that allows it.

I would have to fight against forty years of cultural immersion and hard core, hard-wired beliefs to get to the point where I believed all I needed was a bit of chanting meditation and bob's your uncle, no more hefty shopping bills.

The other thing is, I don't want to believe in that for me. I am happy with eating and drinking - it's one of life's great pleasures.

But I am willing to explore the down river thoughts that come from knowing the exception proves there are no rules:

I can believe and experience anything I want:

I can change my beliefs to have "My metabolism is a raging furnace - everything I eat gets turned straight to high powered fuel. I have a hard time putting on weight. I maintain my weight super easily."

or how about this one:

"I am a money magnet - opportunities and wealth flow to me in juicy abundance"

or this one:

"Everything I experience is for my highest good and the highest good of all concerned. I am blessed."

The other thing about the crazy Indian dude that has me wondering, "Could meditation and enlightenment really be better than sex, chocolate, and red wine?"

I'm open to it!

Let's go for something bigger though:
If a man or woman can live on breath alone and can feel that kind of transcendence whilst still living in human form, is it possible to:

End wars and live in global peace
Stabilise consumption and harmonise existence in a perfect healthy balance
Heal disease and promote vitality for all
Laugh more than we cry
Hug more than we hit
Love everyone and every thing without restraint or judgment or qualification.

What about you? What impossible thing is possible now for you?

Magnetic Leader: When Feedback Fails

2010-06-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.10
Hello!

My flu is well and truly done and dusted. In fact it only lasted five days. I owe my awesome recovery to a new easy-as-pie resting methodology called "Intentional Resting". So easy and I find it shifts my state of mind (and body) instantly. Give it a go and let me know what you think.

I'm writing this edition from lovely sunny Bega as my honey does his lawyer thing in a divorce settlement conference. It's funny how we do the same type of work, from totally different platforms - we both help our clients move to a better-feeling place. And then we have the rest of the weekend here at the coast - yippee!

This week's message is from a weird experience when someone's view of the world has no intersection at all with the other person who is providing them feedback. I'd love your take on this one!

Zoe

WEBCASTS
"People Who Drive You Nuts (and what to do about it)"
Re-scheduled for Friday 9 July 10am Canberra, that's 8 July, 8pm edt (New York) - call in details on a new service - TalkShoe to follow - once I figure out how to use it

MAIN ARTICLE: "When Feedback Fails"

This is what happened: When I was at Outward Bound, "Jonas" was an off-the-wall instructor who had a good heart, bad habits, and (in my opinion) a skewed view of the world. He was caught smoking (a big no-no on a non-smoking property), he enjoyed a bit of pot - ok, a lot of pot, and the unforgivable - was dominant and oppressive in his communication style.

Oh yeah - did I mention he was my boyfriend at the time? Yup. It was going to be a challenging conversation.

I did all the background work, analysed the situation, looked at the issue from both perspectives. I meditated, reflected, asked opinions, purged my fear and angst. I prepared my constructive feedback sandwiched with positive observations. I rehearsed a distilled cut-through sentence to grab his attention and let the impact of his behaviour be known. It went something like, "I respect and appreciate your right to make choices, and if you keep making these types of choices we can't work together anymore."

Then the day came and my well-rehearsed speech rolled off my trembling tongue. Ta da.

His face buckled and rumbled alike an alien frog. Something I said was causing a major disconnect.

In response to my statement, "Smoking pot is illegal" he said, "So is planting weeds in the Murrumbidgee river corridor."

What the....? How is that in any way relevant? How can the two even compare? (to clarify, he was referring to the imported species of snapdragon flowers I had planted in the garden outside my house). Planting non-natives in the corridor was indeed illegal, but my house was beside the corridor, not in it. Boy this still pi**es me off ten years later!)

So here he was now pressing my buttons: he was clearly not listening to anything I was telling him, deliberately not hearing my perspective or understanding the great ethical dilemma he was forcing me into - remain faithful and say nothing and thereby ditch my own ethics of honesty and anti-pot sentiment.

My view of the world was in complete clash with his: he saw environmental vandalism as far worse than pot-smoking (which in his opinion was a peaceful benign drug that should be legal anyway). He just didn't get my moral dilemma. In fact, he refused to acknowledge or paraphrase anything I was saying.

Stalemate. Feedback failure.

And of course this is exactly where traditional management methods and leadership strategies ultimately fail: when we imagine we can force our view of the word on someone else, when we believe we can talk someone into behaving the way we want them to, then we are doomed to fail.

The world doesn't work like that.

It does work like this:

When I am in control of my vibrational alignment, when I know what I want and focus on that with joyful appreciation, when I hold that picture of what I truly desire - how I want to feel most of all - it creates a vortex of attraction that lines up people, things, opportunities, and situations that resonate.

So if I find myself in a destructive relationship with a pot-smoking cantankerous bully boyfriend, my work is NOT to try and change HIM - my work is to change MY thoughts, MY feelings.

I make peace with what is. Instead of beating myself up about my failure in judgment of character and picking yet another dud boyfriend, I accept that all my choices are in my ultimate good (even if takes me ten years to see the benefits and be able to write about it without too much angst). In making peace with what is, I can ask, "Well what do I want instead?" and I start to revel in the essence of what I want: a relationship with a man who respects and shares my value, someone who can communicate like a sensible person, someone who is healthy and respects their body, someone who likes gardening! And I left the space open for that to be Jonas. Or not.

So what happened? I resigned my from my role (that's a whole other post about being bullied, not standing up for myself and other leadership lessons) - and this gave me tremendous relief. From there I kept flowing the desire of what I wanted in my relationship and the best feeling place was away from Jonas. So we broke up. Six months later I met my honey, Rob. He doesn't like gardening much, but he loves our chickens and has run three marathons with me.

Coach's challenge:
What about you? When has feedback really worked well? When hasn't it and why? Could you make peace with what is and focus on the essence of what you want instead? Share your tips!

Zoe
Related posts:
Power and Drama: How to cut the crap
The Leader As Crucible: A New Magnetic Way To Lead

RESOURCES

Good Vibe University

I've been hanging out a lot at the Good Vibe U. There are some incredibly knowledgeable contributors about Law of Attraction and some awesome resources.

I will also be teaching a series on the "Core Dynamics of Common Problems" in July. It's free for GVU members.

Check out the Good Vibe University now!

Power and Drama: How to Cut the Crap

2010-06-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

A client revealed some serious power dynamics at play in his family and work relationships: a struggle for dominance, influence, and meaning was producing some intense negative hoopla.

The drama dynamic works like this: Victim - Rescuer - Persecutor. The three roles play out in a vicious spin of yuck. The Persecutor, or Bad Guy, asserts their authority to force an outcome; the Victim feels bullied and powerless and cries out 'woe is me'; and the Rescuer surges in to save the day.

Sounds like a classic Hero story on the surface. However, when you look at the power struggle, you see the insidious side of it all.

Let's use this scenario:

Mum is at home with two ratty kids and feels frustrated, anxious, and powerless (Victim).
She sees the kids as the source of all her angst (they are the Bad Guys).
Dad comes home and at last she is going to get some relief (Dad appears as the Knight in Shining Armour - the Rescuer).
Dad sees the crazy situation in the house as he arrives with kids out of control (Bad Guys) and wife in tears (victim), so he decides he needs to fix it and fix it quick (Rescuer) because he is tired and just wants to chill out.
So Dad storms in, yells at the kids to behave and sends them to their room (Dad becomes big scary bad guy).
Kids run away crying because Dad has turned into red-faced Tasmanian Devil (they feel like victims).
Mum is upset because Dad has just yelled and the kids are crying again (she feels like victim again).
She says, "Did you really have to make them cry? They're only little." (Mum steps as rescuer thinking Dad's reaction was a little over the top).
"You always so that," she says. "You've got such a temper. I just wanted you to help not be an a**hole." (mum turns on Dad, bitches him out and becomes the Bad Guy simultaneously enacting the Rescuer role).
Dad is tired and a little surprised by his wife's response and ponders if life is really meant to be like this as he cracks a beer and drinks - alone - on the porch. (Dad moves into victim). He gets depressed, drinks some more (victim) until he has an all-out row with his wife (Bad Guy again).

And round and around it goes.

Until you cut the crap. Here's how:

Recognise you are getting sucked into the Drama Vortex. You can tell any time you feel angry, upset, and supremely peeved off at someone. This bit of awareness is like pressing 'pause' on the drama energy and gives you the breathing space to search for a new perspective.
Once you've pressed pause, you can ask three of the most powerful questions that act like circuit breakers to the crap cycle:

What can I learn from this?
What might be good about this situation?
What do I want instead?

You can ask those questions from any point in the Drama Vortex. It will put you squarely back in the driver's seat and in a real place of power to take inspired action from a place of love and compassion.

Here's a couple of things to know:

The Drama Vortex is driven by a few underlying forces. These include a general sense of powerlessness that is fed by fear, anger, vengeance and a search for meaning.
For the Victim this turns up as a need to feel significant in being rescued.
For the Rescuer it turns up as a strong desire to help others - to be the one to save the day - as a way of feeling important and purposeful.
For the Persecutor, their sense of meaning comes from a desire to overcome powerlessness by asserting dominance.

This dynamic plays out in families, in cultural ethos, and in whole nations and continents. You can even play out the three roles in your own head by the way you talk to yourself: "I'm such a loser no one will ever love me (victim). Come on, you can do better than that! Let's get an ice cream to feel better (rescuer). Not an ice cream you fat lazy slob! (persecutor) Yeah, you're right, I'm a fat, good for nothing loser (victim). (This story is soooo familiar to the old me! And so easy to fall back in to).

So if it's so crappy, why do people find it so hard to crack out of it?

The Drama Vortex is very seductive. The energy is high and edgy - that's the drama part of it - and you can get hooked on the adrenaline. That's why bullies pick fights, that's why you may find yourself subconsciously stirring up trouble - just to get a reaction. Like when I say absolute rubbish to Rob just to make sure he's paying attention and hear him protest - sentences that start with, "you always..." or "you never...[buy me diamonds/rub my shoulders/tell me how nice I look]"

The alternative energy to Drama is the energy of Love and Compassion. When you're flowing these two biggies, there is no space for anger, resentment, judgment, and power games. The frequency doesn't allow it.

So back to mum, dad, and the kids. If you do like my client did, you can crack the Drama Vortex in a heartbeat. When he came home he saw his lovely wife in tears and instead of jumping into rescuer/bad guy sort-it-out-quick mode, he said, "Well, how about we just go for a little walk and take a little time out." And on that walk they flowed love and appreciation for each other and let the drama dissipate. They got home and and in that space of love they worked out what was needed to give mum a break and to help the kids learn boundaries. They solved the challenges together - while flowing love.

You can't flow love when you are beetroot red in the face and spitting the dummy.

You can only be Master of your own life when you come from a place of peace and love.

Coach's challenge:

How are you doing on that score? Got any tips you'd like to share on how to crack the Drama Vortex? I'd love to hear them - this is my persistent invitation for you to comment and share your wisdom and love. Please do!

The Magnetic Leader: Who's got the Vision?

2010-06-03T17:51:00.000-07:00

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.9, 4 June 2010
Hello!

After a week of nursing a cold, I am feeling a little better - thanks for all the well-wishes - they really helped me! And thanks to barb who quoted my own advice back to me: "It's no big deal, no small children will die from the re-schedule." A great reminder.

I've been itching to write all week, so I've taken a break from slothing on the couch to connect with you. First I want to share the marvellous Future Leaders of the Wine Industry with you - here is my awesome group that started their 6 month leadership program last week with torrential rain, cold temperatures, and consistent laughter. This is a program I am designing and delivering for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation.

I love this work! Together they are discovering their capacity as leaders as well a the power of collaborative thinking. Stay tuned. Oh, and the wines they share are delicious too :)

Zoe

MAIN ARTICLE: "Who's got the Vision?"

One of the bumph myths about leadership is that the leaders is supposed to have the vision.

Rubbish!

Back in the good ole days perhaps that was true. A charismatic daring leader stepped forth with a fresh and inspiring picture of what was possible. Think Braveheart. Think Joan of Arc. Think Donald Trump.

But respectively they've ended up disembowelled, burned at the stake, and bald.

Do we need hero leaders?

Not really. Not anymore. The world has changed and hero leadership is limited and short sighted.

We need hero leaders for good stories. At least Mel Gibson does!

So if we don't have a hero leader with a bright shiny vision, who's got the vision?

The tribe does.

A leader of the tribe has one singular purpose:

To elicit the common vision that inspires and unites the tribe.

How does a leader do that?

They create the space for conversation and sharing.

How a leader runs their conversations - both individually and as a group - is the secret to tribal success.

By the way, when I say 'tribe' I mean any group: a community, a family, an organisation, a work team, an industry.

Here are a few key tips for creating that sacred space for sharing and magic:

1. Come from a place of love, peace, and respect. And mean it. Be it. Do it. Show it. Love in leadership is an under-rated and under-spoken currency that feeds the soul of the tribe.

2. Don't rush the magic. Gather in a circle where everyone is at the same level, with no physical obstructions between them. Allow silence. Feel the ebbs and flows. Gather ideas without judgment. acknowledge all contributions.

3. Membership is non-negotiable. Everyone who gathers in the tribe has full membership rights and are to be treated equally, regardless if they get up your nose or not.

There are many others - and I invite you to share your thoughts and reflections on leaders creating sacred space for sharing and creating a common vision.

Zoe

RESOURCES
1. The Art of Hosting and Harvesting Conversations That Matter
28-31 July 2010. International co-hort of practitioners invites you to the Australian South Coast to learn how to host new conversations for a better future.

Read more here.

2. Good Vibe University

This awesome tribe is run by good friend and colleague Jeannette Maw (I am a raving fan of hers). She has gathered together a wonderful group of people who are collaborating and sharing their wisdom, expertise, and experiences in applying deliberate creation principles.
There are teleclasses, forums, and resources - worth thousands (no joke) for a ridiculously affordable price. I recommend everything Jeannette does - I am sure if you love law of Attraction principles, you will love this too.

Check out the Good Vibe University now!

3. Three Pillars of Personal Power

You know what, I really love this product. I put it together, it's true, so yes, I am fully biased However, it is an excellent piece of work that guides you through some fundamentals of law of attraction and deliberate creation, including the big stumbling block - BELIEFS and how they keep tripping you up. You can change them forever to support you.

Don't just take my word for it though - explore for yourself.

Zoe Routh is a Magnetic Leadership coach and expert with over 20 years experience in leadership and personal development, maximising the potential of youth and adults through outdoor adventure. She has worked with thousands of individuals and groups and counts amongst her previous leadership roles Staff and Training Director of Outward Bound Australia, President of the Chamber of Women in Business, and Chair of the Outdoor Council of Australia. Zoe also develops and delivers leadership programs for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation.

Her programs "The Magnetic Leader" and "Magnetic Teams" harness the power of deliberate creation for a more engaged and dynamic workplace: clients achieve goals faster and easier, having a lot more fun.

In her various adventures Zoe has paddled 30 weeks by canoe in northwest Ontario, run 6 marathons, hiked hundreds of kilometres in Australia’s outback, bellydanced at various festivals, lived through cancer, married a fair dinkum Aussie bloke, and wrestled a 6 meter crocodile. It's all true, except for the crocodile part.

Cool opportunities and events happening for you!

2010-05-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

Lots of great stuff has come across my desk lately and I wanted to share it with you - plenty of awesome resources, people, and events for you to enjoy and progress your personal and professional evolution. Enjoy!

1. Rishan's Law of Attraction Hero Videos: Complimentary videos with content-rich resources. He's a new voice in Law of Attraction, but he has a lot of substance behind his messages. I liked his vibe.

Check him out here

2. MARK YOUR CALENDAR: Leadership Over Lunch Series with moi, Zoe Routh
Next webcast June 4, 12pm Canberra, 10pm EST, New York.
Topic: "People Who Drive You Nuts - How to deal with them without blowing your top"
*FREE for Magnetic Leadership Center members.
Not a member yet? Join us here - membership is complimentary.

3. Abundant Mystic Telesummit for Spiritual Entrepreneurs: Some excellent interviews happening all week - and more to come.
Register here (affiliate link)

4. Performance Measurement Blueprint Workshop: How to overcome the most common struggles with KPIs and performance measures. Upcoming events in Canberra, Sydney, Singapore, London
Read More

5. Awesome new book launch with Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, and Debbie Ford - The Shadow Effect.
Get your copy here.

5. Get these results too - with the Three Pillars of Personal Power. Happy client says,
"Life here is amazing, everything is going really well for Ben and I, both our businesses are booming! Since I bought your Three Pillars a few months ago, my life has changed so much, and all for the better! So thank you. You are awesome. Take care and have a happy day." - Jeanne Treloar,www.witchwords.com.au
Get your own best results here

*PLUS the Bonus Money Mojo when you order this month.

6. The Art of Hosting and Harvesting Conversations That Matter. In July a hosting team of overseas and Australian practitioners will be leading training in The Art of Hosting and Harvesting Conversations That Matter. The purpose of the training is to provide a space where you can consider how the important question evolves in the consciousness of the conversation participants, how you decide what it is that you want to harvest from the conversation and how you, as host, maximise the quality of the harvest through our hosting practice.

The training will also include a series of training or theory sessions including dealing with chaos and order, living systems, the three concepts of divergence, emergence and convergence and the design of system change.

You will find more information on The Art Of Hosting and Harvesting Conversation That Matters at www.artofhosting.org, while details on the July intensive training can be found at http://law.anu.edu.au/coast/events/artof/conversation.htm.

7. Being in Heaven.
It's a great film by an Aussie team - genuine practical techniques for living the law of attraction and deliberately creating everything you desire. Very cool.

Click on the image for more information:

That Forrest Gump Moment

2010-05-06T17:55:00.000-07:00

I had a tantrum on Monday. I full on spat the dummy. My life sucked (I love how I can make my life suck even when I am clearly blessed by everything I want - gorgeous house, gorgeous husband, great meaningful work, awesome clients, and abundant health).

But on Monday, my life sucked.

I had just finished an epic 8-day residential advanced leadership program - one I had designed from scratch, marketed, and piloted for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation. Big pressure - big results.

Plus I had had many nights of after 11pm bedtime (pretty darn late for a gal who usually snuggles up to the doona before 9pm.

I was bone tired. I slothed on the couch the day after the course finished and then the next day was back at 'em - writing an ezine edition, answering emails, being 'productive'.

I was ripe for a rant and it went something like this:

My life sucks because...
All I do is work.
I still haven't cracked a million in my business revenue.
I just keep working harder and harder.
When do I get results for all this effort?
There is no escape from this crap. (oh yeah - I was on a roll!)

And then the clincher came from a very dear friend who said to me as I was boo-hooing and pooh-poohing my life:

"You've been closer to death than any of us with your cancer experience, and yet I wonder if you've actually learned your lesson yet."

Ouch.

Way to slap me with the cancer learning again - especially as it is 5 years tomorrow since I had my surgery.

Nothing's changed? I went through cancer to learn about work/life balance, loving myself, honouring myself, and yet nothing's changed?

Now THAT sucks.

So that's when I had my Forrest Gump moment - the one where he's been running for two years up and down the country and then suddenly stops.

Forrest went running because it felt good. It was for the simple pleasure of it all. Along the way it started to evolve into a mass of followers - the simple pleasure grew into a movement. And after many miles of running, he realised he no longer enjoyed it. So he stopped.

I used to write and run my business because I loved it - I loved connecting, I loved writing, I loved people. When I stopped looking after myself to tend to a routine - to a set of constructed expectations - I stopped enjoying it.

So this week I gave up. I stopped running my business marathon.

And I contemplated what life would be like if:

I didn't pressure myself to perform
Did not stick to a regimen for the sake of it
Only did what I loved - without expectations
Had a weekend of free of work to mooch and hang out with the chickens
Stopped 'looking' for business.

The sense of freedom and joy was liberating. I've been loving it all week.

And wouldn't you know it, just as I've given up on 'finding' work, I've had FOUR business inquiries this week. Sheesh.

Like you, I know this stuff, but sometimes you just don't get it until you actually have to get it - and you feel it in your body.

You can't pretend to know this stuff - either you feel it and do it (look after yourself first, enjoy the moment, give up, let go of expectations) or you pretend to do it (and worry, ponder, stress, push, pull and so on).

Coach's challenge:
So what's your Forrest Gump moment? What are you giving up/letting go of/quitting this week? I'd love to hear it!

15 Questions To A Breakthrough

2010-05-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ever got stuck mulling a problem over and over and over?

And then tarted thinking about it again only to get stuck all over again?

Yup - been there, done that!

It's not that there is no solution, but you need to change the way you are thinking, how you are focusing. And the quality of your answers comes from the quality of your questions.

Here is a collection of powerful questions that can shift the gears, re-orient your focus, and tap into other parts of the brain that can elicit all sorts of new answers.

Have a play with these next time you are feeling stuck:

What question, if answered could make the most difference to the future of your specific situation?
What assumptions do we need to test or challenge here in thinking about your specific situation?
If there was one thing that hasn't yet been said in order to reach a deeper level of understanding clarity what would that be?
What would it take to create change on this issue?
If our success was completely guaranteed, what bold actions would we take today?
What conversation if begun today would ripple out in a way that created new possibilities for the future of your situation?
What are we doing right/well and what we are we proud of (instead of what are we doing wrong)?
What does our instinct tell us? What do we feel about this (instead of what is our analysis of the situation)?
What if we could have both options (instead of choosing one over the other)?
How has this problem been solved before (instead of trying to re-invent the wheel)?
Who would see this differently? What other possible perspectives are there on this issue?
What would God/Jesus/Buddha/Ghandhi/your Higher Self say about this situation?
What would we discover if we answered this question from a place of love and possibility?
If we knew what the answer was, what might that be?
If things were to be different, how might that look like, sound like, taste like, feel like?

Want some more inspiration? Try Robin Ryde's book -Thought Leadership and www.theworldcafe.com

Got some inspiring questions of your own? Please share them with us!

Blue Suit Leadership (and how to avoid it)

2010-04-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

You've seen them - buttoned up and squeezed into that blue suit uniform - men and women at networking functions, business lunches, board rooms, and the ubiquitous blue suit conference.

It's a sea of uniformity, stoic observation of tradition and formality, toeing the party line, maintaining status quo.

It's stifling, restrictive, limiting, and...bloody boring.

However there is something comforting in the 'blue suit' paradigm: you belong to a tribe.

But following the tribe blindly can lead you into all sorts of trouble.

Think Global Financial Crisis. Think Zimbabwe. Think Holocaust.

Now these extreme examples may seem to be outside the usual small business experience, but I assure you, Blue Suit

Leadership is alive and well in business and it's killing your potential.

There are three alternatives to amorphous 'blue suit' leadership:

1. "Backpack Leadership"

This is the tribe that doesn't settle for the same old, same old, but look on every every situation as a new challenge with unknown horizons to explore. Enthusiasm abounds and 'Tally ho' and 'you beauty' are their rallying cry.

Their conversation is dominated by questions such as:

"What would happen if we tried..."
"How do we want it to look like?"
"If we had ten million dollars to play with right now what would we do with it?"
"What does our [inner/values] compass say about which way to go?"

2. "Board Shorts Leadership"

This tribe sees their job as a vocation: they are passionate and fun-loving. They find a way to make every task a delight.

Enjoyment and satisfaction in the process are primary considerations.

And because everyone is having fun, they feel valued, are loyal to the group and its vision, and are significant contributors to the
prosperity of the business.

They ask questions like,

"How can we make this a better experience for everyone - customer, colleagues, service providers?"
"What would make this a ten out of ten product/service/business/relationship?"
"How do you feel about this?"
"What does your intuition say about this?"

3. "Naked Leadership"

This tribe is stripped bare - of pretence, of hiding, of masquerading. They look at the raw truth and see it all in its naked glory.

They call attention to the pink elephants.

They ask questions like,

"What are we pretending not to know?"
"What's the question we're afraid to ask?"
"If we knew the answer what might it be?"

Naked leaders are genuine, authentic, honest, forthright, and...

Courageous.

It takes guts to bare all and speak the truth.

Coach's Challenge
What kind of leadership are you showing in your life and business? Are you buttoned up or hanging loose in your boardies? Are you following convention or are you lacing up your trekking boots? Is your closet dark and dreary or are you sitting like Buddha in your birthday suit?

I challenge you to try something a little different, a little out of the ordinary. And tell us about it! We want to hear about your Naked Leadership experience - the world needs your inspiration!

Beware of 'Goal Creep'

2010-04-09T15:34:00.001-07:00

I couldn't believe my eyes - the email read - "I'm feeling so disheartened lately. I have not hit any of my goals. I missed my personal best by 25 seconds. My list of contacts has not been growing at the same rate. I haven't reached my revenue targets."

Can you relate? Have you got goals you are just missing? Haven't had any big wins lately?

It all sounds reasonable fodder for a bit of a whinge and grumble...

Except that:

My friend - let's call her Tracey - is now running faster than ever - at 40.
She has been busting her guts for the last six months in total commitment to her training program.
She is mega healthy and looks fabulous.
She actually had a stomach bug on the day of her run.
Her list of contacts is actually 11,000+. That's eleven thousand. That's, like, mega huge by any online marketer's standard. Plus the list has been growing at 200 per week. As I told her, I would sacrifice body parts to have those kind of numbers!
Her revenue targets per month are more than many people make in a whole year.

'Hohum', she says.

'Hohum'? How about hallelujah! How about, I rock my own socks off - I am so terrific! How about, I am an inspiration to my peers, my family, my clients, my cat and the chickens next door!

'Hohum'. Sheesh. Time for a perspective makeover.

There are a couple of things going wrong here:

1. Tracey is suffering from 'goal creep'.

When she first started out I can guarantee my friend would have been ecstatic with a jog around the block and 5 people reading her newsletter each week. These small wins would have made her jump for joy! But as she started to achieve more and more and more, she got addicted to the craving for more.

Like a crack-head junkie, she needed even greater hits of 'hitting target' adrenaline. Once she hit a target, she started searching immediately for the next hit. Goal Creep. Very addictive.

2. Her definition of success is all pear-shaped.

For Tracey, success means hitting targets. And if you miss targets, you feel like a failure. That's in spite of all evidence of massive 'success': service to 11,000 people, revenue that meets the bills and more, a magazine-cover-worthy body.

Listen up people, success isn't anything you do, produce, or check off a list.

Success is a feeling.

It's a glorious, sexy, exuberant, joyous, powerful feeling. You get to choose it. You get to choose the reasons for that feeling. I suggest you pick really easy reasons to feel successful. Kind of like finding lots of (any!) good reasons to eat chocolate. Except the feeling of success is calorie free and ramps up your attraction to the opposite sex.

OK I made that last one up, but the principle is the same - when you feel successful, you feel powerful, attractive, dynamic and gorgeous. Why not feel that every day? Why wait until you reach some magical and made-up number?

How about using these reasons to feel successful:

Today I am above ground and breathing.
I am having a go.
I am a determined and courageous person.
I am always learning and growing.
I have good hair.
I have a smile that would knock Adonis off his perch.
I am a warm and loving person.
I am fantastical good at making a good pot of tea.

You get the idea. Turn up your self-appreciation dial.

3. Tracey stopped rehearsing success.

As soon as you start making targets your reasons for feeling successful, you destroy the joy of the creative process. It becomes all about the destination, and not about the journey. Annoying cliche, but true.

If you are to savour the creative process - picking a goal and discovering ways to achieve it - then you need to rehearse that super-duper buzzy success feeling - every day.

It's about self-love folks. It's about appreciation. It's about realising you are making a massive impact on the world, and allowing you to feel that joy - now.

If you rehearse feeling successful, you attract more of the experiences that facilitate your feeling successful. If you feel successful with little things, the big ones get savoured too - while you're getting there, and when you get there.

Coach's Challenge:

So let's hear it - what are your reasons for feeling succesful right now? I invite you to share with the world and let your light shine on us all.

Zoe

P.S. Want more success strategies and wickedly wonderful insights? Jump in now with the home study program, Three Pillars of Personal Power. Get started now here.

Disable the Downplayer

2010-03-27T20:22:00.001-07:00

I confess - I am no good at receiving compliments. I've trained myself to say 'thanks' instead of 'it's nothing' but I'm still usually in shock. Love my article? But it's just what I do day in day out. You find my coaching insightful and powerful? But I just tell it how I see it. Love my presentation? But public speaking is so easy!

And I know how ridiculous this all sounds by the hundreds of you I can hear scoffing at the last point. Public speaking is not easy - not by a long shot.

So why do I downplay?

I am caught in the trap of the false virtues - modesty and humility.

And I suspect I am not the only one!

Why are modesty and humility 'false' virtues?

Because they do not serve our life purpose.

Let me explain. This is what happens when we downplay:

We think, "I'm not good enough. I am not deserving of this."

When the downplayer is turned up high, all we are doing is vibrating unworthiness. We are rehearsing and reinforcing 'not good enough yet'.

And if my purpose is to help leaders transform the world by first transforming themselves, how on earth is that going to happen with the vibration of 'not good enough'?

It ain't working. It won't work. Ever.

To inspire others to transform their awareness and personal influence I need to have my confidence and self-worth dialled up high - powerful positive energy is engaging, influential, and contagious.

'Not good enough yet' is not.

Humility and modesty are false friends - they unhinge our personal power.

How do we disable the downplayer?

After all it's culturally ingrained to be modest. Arrogance is loathed and condemned. In Australia if you brag you are seen as someone who Big Notes and needs to be cut down to size. There is even a saying for this: 'the Tall Poppy Syndrome' - all poppies that rise above others need to have their heads chopped back.

No wonder we are keen to downplay when threatened with such malice!

But playing small, thinking small, and feeling small serves no one, no cause, no thing.

Big thinkers, strong leaders, need to think Big, feel Big, play Big in order to get Big Results.

Downplaying is small thinking, small feeling, and leads to small results.

Here is the first distinction needed to disable your downplayer:

1. Appreciation is not arrogance. When I appreciate the fact that I love writing and generally what I write is pretty good [whoa - see how I did that?? 'generally what I write is pretty good' - downplayer on!] Ok try again - what I write is powerful and engaging, I am not sitting in arrogance but appreciating my strengths. I am not narcissistically gazing at my reflection, but acknowledging that my strengths serve my purpose in the world - to inspire others in their own transformation.

Arrogance would be something like, "I'm a sh*t hot writer and you're not. Nanananapoohpooh."

Appreciation does not raise you above others - it raises your vibration. Thus you are more influential and positive.

2. Turning up your "Up-player" makes you a vibrational match to your vision and makes room for it to come in.

By practising appreciation and dialling it up a notch, I am tuned in to success and accomplishment - exactly the environment I want to create for me, my results, and those of my clients.

Here's an example of how to do it: Next week I have been invited to speak to a group coached by Mark Joyner (personal development guru with massive following and huge acclaim). Wow! That is awesome! I am so cool! I attract the top end Big Guns in my field - that's who I play with now! I am delighted to share my powerful message of personal transformation using my unique and practical system. I am a guru too. I am an amazing guru! I have the talent and vision to uplift thousands and I am attracting these opportunities daily.

Phew. That wasn't as easy as it looked! But I am totally committed to my vision of helping leaders transform the world by first transforming themselves. It's a high energy, big playing field and I am stepping up as a key player.

What about you?

What accomplishments and opportunities is it time to up-play? Share them here on the blog - inspire us!

With love and appreciation,

Zoe

How to Crack The Set Point

Resources:

Three Pillars of Personal Power

Five Ways You Can Expand Your Influence

2010-03-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder how some people to always get their own way? They seem to glide easily through life, gathering supporters and fans as they go.

Their secret?

Influence. Whether you want to make an impact on your family or on your organisation, influence is critical.

Here are five strategies you can use to increase your influence and achieve your goals more easily:

1. Be clear about your outcome. Being very specific about your ultimate outcome gives you more freedom to be open about the 'how' of getting there. You don't get stuck in process-oriented issues. Say for example your four year old is a very messy child. You would like him to be tidy. But what do you really want? Ask, do you want him to be tidy for you or for him? That's a big trap! If you want him to be tidy to keep you happy, you need to relax because there is no way he is going to respond to that kind of pressure! The more you want him to do something because it will please you, the less he will want to do it. What we resist or need, persists. irritating, I know!

What you need to focus on is your ultimate outcome. What do you really want for your child? Your ultimate outcome may be that he becomes self-reliant and responsible. Getting stuck on 'tidy' impairs the progress - notice instead where he is demonstrating independence, and celebrate that. When you're clear on what you ultimately want, it makes it easier to relax and be open to different pathways to achieve your goal. Tidiness is but one.

2. Create a culture of success of and appreciation. If you focus only on the end goal you'll miss the joy of the journey -it's a cliche, but it's true. Plus if your goal is fairly sizeable, and too far in the future, it will be difficult to maintain momentum and enthusiasm. At the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation I do a little woop woop and celebration dance with each enrolment on the TRAILblazers program. The course doesn't start for another month or so, but it has been six months of preparation. By celebrating the milestones, it keeps the energy peaking and positive. If you teach your team the same habit, you'll grow an extremely positive and dynamic team.

3. Rehearse success. This is one of the key fundamentals of deliberate creation. If you're not rehearsing success, you may be defaulting to failure, through things like worrying, wondering 'what if' and 'if only'. By deliberately talking about, writing about, and picturing your ultimate outcome you are preparing for success. You've got to feel as if it is already complete - a given. It's got to feel not 'if' it will happen, but that it is only a question of 'when'. It's a delicious and powerful feeling and practice. If you do this with your team, and with your family, your confidence will sway them away from doubt and into positive expectation. You can try this with your team or family by asking them to share what it would look like and feel like when you achieve your goal. It's as simple as that!

4. Ask better questions. The direction of your focus and energy is determined entirely by the questions you ask yourself. Unfortunately we tend to default to not so helpful questions like, 'why me?', or 'how did I get myself into this mess?' or 'why is he out to get to me?' These types of negative questions tend to bring out negative answers. Yucko!

Try some positive questions like these delicious ones:

What would we do with a million dollars?
What would we do with 50% more customers?
How do we need to behave to attract more ideal clients?
How can we give outstanding service that will surprise and delight our customers?
What would make this place a brilliant place to work?
What would we do if we knew we could not fail?
How will we know we've been successful?

These kinds of questions elicit completely different responses than questions like, 'what's the risk here?', 'where did we go wrong?', 'what are we missing?' and so on. Keep your questions focused on your outcome and you will generate new energy and positive influence.

5. Be a crucible. A crucible is a container that is heat resistant that retains its shape while its contents are subject to extreme heat and are thus transformed into a new state - for example, sold metal into liquid.As a leader, you can act as a crucible for your team members. Your state of mind, attitude, and presence creates a safe place where people can undergo pressure and be transformed into something new and better. as a crucible, you guide, mentor, coach, and direct your team members through challenges, allowing their own transformation.

To be an effective crucible you need to take extremely good care of yourself so you have the patience, space, time, and energy to dedicate to your people's transformation. This is probably the most important and crucial of the roles as a leader. When you act as a catalyst and a safe place for them to grow, then your influence is sublime - your encouragement and support generates respect, gratitude, and loyalty. Together you'll accomplish much more as deep trust is forged through a crucible experience.

Have you got a tip on becoming more influential? Leave a comment on the blog - or just say 'hi'!

3 Energy Boosters to Be More Magnetic

2010-03-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

I just manifested a $1000 cheque. How cool is that? Story shared below.

I used to think that 'manifesting cheques in the mail' was a bunch of malarky. I got stumped on, 'but how do I do that?'

And there's where most other folks get tripped up too - it's not about the doing. It's about your energy. There is no way I could have worked how to manifest the $1000 surprise cheque.

That sounds too much like hard work - and if it feels like work, it won't work. We only get what we want when we are lined up with it - when we feel joyful.

Incidentally, isn't it interesting how we refer to employment as 'work'. No wonder so many people don't get what they want through their jobs - they're trying too hard.

So back to the cheque story. Out of the blue, with zero notification, a refund of $1000 turned up for over-payment of a medical bill. When was the last time you got money back from your doctor? Sheesh Louise, it was stunning. There's not a hope in Haidees I could have planned that or taken any action towards that.

Was it a fluke?

Of course not! Does the Universe that creates the smallest insect to the biggest elephant all in perfect balance and harmony, with laws like gravity and matter and energy fluke at anything?

Nope.

The Universe always flows energy to energy of like vibration.

The cheque was on purpose - a perfect match to my energy.

Being magnetic means your energy resonates with what you want - whether it's free mo.ney, a great boss, a new job, a scintillating lover, or bountiful peanut butter snacks (yummo)...

But most of us are not deliberate about our energy management. We kind of bumble through, and we get what bumbles back - always a perfect match.

Plus we are often humble in our requests from the Great Universe Guy. My coach straight out laughed at me and called me 'too cute' in my simple desire to recruit four more people to the TRAILblazers leadership program I am running in April. Her opinion is that I was asking for the crumbs on the plate of life rather than tucking into the big piece of chocolate cake sitting right in front of me. In fact, there's a whole buffet to choose from!

And we worry about the crumbs. Sheesh.

So how do you get to be an energy match to what you want? You boost your energy so that you resonate with BANQUET and not crumbs.

Here are my favourite three energy boosters to become more magnetic that led to the $1000 surprise:

1. I honoured my body. I was sick - I rested. I ate what felt good. And that meant gnocchi, and an insatiable hankering for peanut butter. I ignored all my diet 'rules' - they felt bad at a time when I needed to feel good. Fro this standpoint peanut butter was obviously going to serve me better than celery.

2. I made peace with what is. The salmonella poisoning scuppered yet another IVF attempt. Still no baby, still not pregnant. But this time I moved to the peaceful part of acceptance and trusting in the Universe to deliver the essence of everything I want. I held on to the belief, "everything always works out perfectly". Salmonella was divine intervention. To what end - I have no idea - but I'm open to it being for my Higher Good.

I can't tell you how good it feels not to have anxiety or frustration around this whole experience! My fertility story has been going on for nearly five years - ever since I got diagnosed with cancer. That's a long time to feel stressed and worried. But now - different vibe. Peace feels better that's for sure. Peace is also a lot more magnetic.

3. I wondered wouldn't it be nice if... I was playing around at the Good Vibe University in the Manifesting Treasure Hunt. There was a list of crazy things to manifest for the week - such as a wink from a stranger, a long lost friend gets in touch, free money and so forth. I stopped at the free money and wondered how much would be fun and easy to manifest. I settled on $50. No attachment to this amount - just a fun thought that it would be fun to get some free moolah. Then I forgot about it.

The rest as they say is history: nice surprise in the post.

And the best part? I didn't try too hard with the manifesting strategies - no affirmations, no meditation, no pray rain journal. There was no trying, no work. Just a feeling into that sense of peace.

That's how easy it can be, that's how delicious too.

What about you - what are your favourite ways to boost your magnetism? Or maybe you've got a cool manifestation strategy to share?

I'd love to hear from you!

The #1 Secret of Magnetic Leaders

2010-03-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been around someone who seems to generate their own positive stratosphere? Someone you can't help being drawn to, appreciating their words of wisdom as well as their very presence?

I've had a few coaches that fit the bill. And the odd stand-out colleague. They're the ones where you think, "I want to be like her when I grow up."

Magnetic leaders are mesmerising, influential, and engaging. They're generous, warm, and you just want to hang out in their bubble.

So what's the secret?

It's not a big personality. It's not charisma in a life-of-the-party sense of the word. They don't necessarily need to command the centre of attention or collect accolades.

A magnetic leader expands beyond their own personal needs with a vision grander than themselves and their own immediate sphere of influence.

Simply, they intend to make a difference on a grand scale, for the greater good.

Sounds a bit altruistic.

Can anyone really be that self-less?

Yes.

And here's their secret:

Magnetic leaders are relentless disciplinarians of self-love.

Now I'm not going all hippy-like on you - self-love as an integral leadership practise ought to be your first priority, whether you are chief executive of a multi-conglomerate or head of a family unit.

Self-love is a critical leadership strategy: you simply cannot invite others to share from your cup if it's empty. This is not just about pampering and good hygiene (though this is a wonderful expression of self-love).

Self-love as a practise includes the following:

Genuine and frequent appreciation of your achievements.
Deep compassion for yourself, especially for all past wrongs you berate yourself for.
Self-talk that is nurturing and not self-deprecating. Even the little 'inconsequential' messages make a difference. You'll be amazed when you start catching yourself saying 'you idiot' or 'dummy' and so on when you drop a glass, forget to save a document, or stub your toe. Your subconscious doesn't know you did not really mean it - it takes you literally. So when you stuff up, it's not 'hey stupid you better fix that one up quick-smart', it's 'hey sweetheart, looks like this is an opportunity for personal growth'. Be gentle on yourself.
An abundance of time and space where you can indulge your soul in things that uplift - reading, listening to music, a walk in the woods - whatever it is that lights you up. There are plenty you ways to show yourself that you matter, that you deserve pleasure and happiness - 'just because' - and not because you've somehow earned it.

You don't earn self-love - you just do it. No one will treat you as well as you deserve when you don't do it for yourself.

And I don't want to hear, "I don't have the time to...' If the President of the USA and the Prime Minister of Australia can find time exercise and manage a self-love routine - then you can too.

P.S. If you liked this article, you'll love my colleague Jeannette Maw's program, The Art of Self Love.

Top 3 Leadership Mistakes that Screw Your Credibility

2010-02-27T20:25:00.001-08:00

When my client asked me what I see as mistakes that people make in leadership roles, one example jumped to the fore - 'Sally'. Observing Sally is like watching a train smash in slow motion. She demonstrates the first two top leadership mistakes. The remaining one comes from examples closer to home.

Mistake 1: I'm right and you're wrong.

'Sally' is an extremely passionate and driven leader with the singular purpose of advocating against injustice. There are two major problems with her focus: the first is that she is so single-minded that she becomes a cyclopse in any debate. No matter what alternative viewpoint is presented, if it doesn't fit her version of the world it's just wrong. She even told her team-mate, 'if you don't like it, join another group.'

As soon as you say something like that, you ruin any chance of collaborative respectful discussion, miss the opportunity of tapping the collectivegenius, and alienate potential supporters. Your credibility as a leader turns to ash, and a new reputation as a bully jumps in to play.

The second problem with Sally's approach is that by advocating against injustice, she helps perpetuate it. If you push against anything, you help magnify it - what we resist persists, what we focus on expands. It would be far better to advocate for something. For example, advocate for peace (not against war), advocate for health (not against disease), advocate for prosperity and abundance (not against poverty).

All those wars on drugs, poverty, terrorism - all they do is prolong them by keeping attention on what is not wanted, instead of what is wanted.

Mistake 2: Taking your eye off the dashboard.

The dashboard is your key performance measures that show the health of your project, family, bank account, and how you are tracking against your goals. Again, Sally's brash and arrogant single-minded focus about the righteousness of her purpose skewered her other leadership responsibilities: she made rash decisions without considering the consequences against the bottom-line. She has now launched a marketing campaign that is likely to send her organisation broke within 12-18 months.

If she'd been watching the dashboard - her performance measures of cash flow and profitability - she could have seen in advance where the action might lead (down the toilet). Any choices you make as a leader and as a group have complex repercussions that aren't linear, but reverberate across different aspects of your project or organisation.

If you don't take a systems approach to strategic planning, you miss projecting the impact of your choices. Watching the dashboard - the trends of your performance measures - shows you whether or not you need to tweak strategies you've implemented. Just like the old adage - a butterfly flaps its wings and an earthquake results - is true: everything is connected and affected by our actions. Using a systems thinking approach you can see where your interventions and actions will leverage the best results. Sadly, Sally missed this premise.

Mistake 3: Not giving up soon enough.

What has giving up have to do with leadership? Everything, if you're running a losing campaign. For me this lesson was hammered home when I was leading a local community-based organisation. I was of the opinion that the organisation was failing in its objective and if we didn't change the structure and focus of the group, it would simply continue to struggle on, sapping the energy, time, and good-will of its volunteer members. I facilitated a discussion around this issue with the leadership team and many agreed the current situation was unsustainable. However when it came to vote on changing the structure, fear of change prevailed and the group agreed to try harder to maintain the status quo. I found myself out in front with no one behind - my team would not follow.

It was time to quit. But the real lesson was this: I should have quit long before. Why? Not because people disagreed with my ideas, but for a far more elemental reason. If I had done proper due diligence before I agreed to take the leadership role I would have discovered that there was a fundamental clash of vision, values, and purpose between me and the rest of the group. I discovered too late that I was simply in the wrong tribe.

What about you? Have you had an experience where you transformed a group from the inside out? Or perhaps you quit and started your own group? Are there any other leadership mistakes you've seen (or made yourself) that would help others to know about? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts.