That Forrest Gump Moment

I had a tantrum on Monday. I full on spat the dummy. My life sucked (I love how I can make my life suck even when I am clearly blessed by everything I want - gorgeous house, gorgeous husband, great meaningful work, awesome clients, and abundant health).

But on Monday, my life sucked.

I had just finished an epic 8-day residential advanced leadership program - one I had designed from scratch, marketed, and piloted for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation. Big pressure - big results.

Plus I had had many nights of after 11pm bedtime (pretty darn late for a gal who usually snuggles up to the doona before 9pm.

I was bone tired. I slothed on the couch the day after the course finished and then the next day was back at 'em - writing an ezine edition, answering emails, being 'productive'.

I was ripe for a rant and it went something like this:

My life sucks because...
All I do is work.
I still haven't cracked a million in my business revenue.
I just keep working harder and harder.
When do I get results for all this effort?
There is no escape from this crap. (oh yeah - I was on a roll!)

And then the clincher came from a very dear friend who said to me as I was boo-hooing and pooh-poohing my life:

"You've been closer to death than any of us with your cancer experience, and yet I wonder if you've actually learned your lesson yet."

Ouch.

Way to slap me with the cancer learning again - especially as it is 5 years tomorrow since I had my surgery.

Nothing's changed? I went through cancer to learn about work/life balance, loving myself, honouring myself, and yet nothing's changed?

Now THAT sucks.

So that's when I had my Forrest Gump moment - the one where he's been running for two years up and down the country and then suddenly stops.

Forrest went running because it felt good. It was for the simple pleasure of it all. Along the way it started to evolve into a mass of followers - the simple pleasure grew into a movement. And after many miles of running, he realised he no longer enjoyed it. So he stopped.

I used to write and run my business because I loved it - I loved connecting, I loved writing, I loved people. When I stopped looking after myself to tend to a routine - to a set of constructed expectations - I stopped enjoying it.

So this week I gave up. I stopped running my business marathon.

And I contemplated what life would be like if:

• I didn't pressure myself to perform
• Did not stick to a regimen for the sake of it
• Only did what I loved - without expectations
• Had a weekend of free of work to mooch and hang out with the chickens
• Stopped 'looking' for business.

The sense of freedom and joy was liberating. I've been loving it all week.

And wouldn't you know it, just as I've given up on 'finding' work, I've had FOUR business inquiries this week. Sheesh.

Like you, I know this stuff, but sometimes you just don't get it until you actually have to get it - and you feel it in your body.

You can't pretend to know this stuff - either you feel it and do it (look after yourself first, enjoy the moment, give up, let go of expectations) or you pretend to do it (and worry, ponder, stress, push, pull and so on).

Coach's challenge:
So what's your Forrest Gump moment? What are you giving up/letting go of/quitting this week? I'd love to hear it!