Advanced leadership skill: how to feel things fully

 I am just back from a week delivering a leadership program with rural primary producers. It was an amazing program with some seriously hard working farmers and industry leaders. They were a keen and engaged group, ready for anything - and we threw some tough challenges at them.

One of the most challenging aspects of the program that proved to have the most impact was the 'tell your story' session. Each participant shared the highlights - and lowlights - of their life journey so far.

It opened the flood gates.

Many shared the impact of the long, seemingly endless drought; year after year of no crops, no income, rising debt, and no end in sight. Some slipped unwittingly into depression; a deep dark haze that settles in like a damp fog that clings to you - erasing boundaries, blurring lines of self esteem, and slowly dragging your worldview into darkness.

And now, on the upswing of a few years of rain and good crops, optimism is re-surging.

And yet, the black, damp fog feels like it has just receded, and not gone.

Some were rattled by the mere thought of a possible return to the black foggy days - fearful of the darkness, the helplessness.

I had a few one-on-one chats with folks about what to do to manage these fears, and the black fog itself.

Here are my suggestions. They are advanced leadership skills, whether you face drought, depression, despair - or simply overwhelm in your day to day life.

1. Cough up the story to the bright light of day. By talking about your story, your experiences, and your feelings, you expose them to air and sunlight, and thereby dry them up. It takes the experience outside of our bodies and gives it some objective perspective. Even subjective perspective of others as you tell the story diffuses the edge and charge of the story.

2. Feel your feelings fully. Most want to avoid telling their story as they are afraid the emotion will well up and swamp them again. We think, "I don't want to feel bad, so if I just don't talk about, try not to think about it, then hopefully it will go away." This is the recipe of, 'what we resist, persists.' When you try and AVOID feelings, they only build and grow - like festering bacteria being swept into dark corners; it only grows more foul.

The only way to purge the overwhelm of bad feelings is to FEEL them fully - go ahead and delve right in.

You do this by paying detailed attention to:

• Where is the feeling in your body - tune in to the exact location of the most intense part of the emotion.
• What colour does the feeling have?
• If you could touch it, what it the texture? The temperature? The shape?
• Focus your inner eye on this feeling shape/colour, and just breathe into it, observing. Pretend you can pierce in to the most intense part of it. Take your imagination into the epicentre of that feeling and just sit in it, and breathe.

You may cry - that's great. According to my colleague's four year old nephew, "crying is when my feelings get too big for my body".  Perfect, right? Crying helps to release the energy of the feeling; when you hold back your tears, you are hanging on to surplus lower vibration energy until it boils over (usually at a very a convenient time).

Simply paying attention to where your feelings are in your body will help release the energy in your body.

3. Change the past. You can change your experience of past events by changing your story. If you take any negative event in your life - ANY negative event - you can change your chronic feelings responses to that event by changing your interpretation of that event. Try this by seeking to find something GOOD that happened as a result of that negative experience. This is the start of changing the past - looking at past events as the springboard to better outcomes for you.

4. Move beyond your thoughts. When you become aware that you have thoughts, that you are not your thoughts, that you are not even the thinker - that you are in fact beyond thought and thinker at your true essence - that you are essentially awareness, then you have  transcended the oscillations of mind and feelings. 

You can start to observe your thoughts and feelings without making them wrong or good, but simply acknowledging them. In this way, feelings and thoughts pass quickly - like clouds on drifting on a breeze. You become aware instead of your eternal self, the part of you that existed before you were born and will continue after you drop your physical casing; tis is the part of you that remains essentially unchanged from when you were an infant through to the adult you now. Your body's cells grow, reproduce, and die, but your essential self remains continuous. When you see the world through THAT prerpective, you can rise above the natural fluctuations of emotions, rather than trying to avoid or resist them.

5. Immerse yourself in nature. Sit under a tree, watch an ant, listen to the birds. Let your mind contemplate the abundance and chaos of the natural world and you will come close to knowing the Divine - the flow of life force that is beyond human contemplation, part of a greater expansion of which we play a role - small and enormous all at once. Let nature take you into the wonder.

That's a start! 

What are your key tips in dealing with overwhelming feelings? 

I would love to hear your suggestions - please share :)

Zoe

p.s. If you would like to develop more of these advanced leadership skills, please join me at my upcoming Deep Wisdom workshop in Canberra. 

7 Tips for Self Mastery

"Where do I start?" My favourite question from new clients. They're ready for something different that will shake them up, ease the path, and make every day weekend bliss.

Luckily, there is a magic formula. A formula I've downloaded from the Universe and my own turbulent roller coaster ride. It's worked for me, and it works for my clients.

But please. Let this be FUN, enjoyable, and a delicious unfolding.

Not a task list, a chore, an effort-full ordeal. I'm so not into that anymore.

So here's the juice on how to follow your inner C.O.M.P.A.S.S.

Tip 1 - C- Courage and Self-belief
This is the fundamental component to any achievements, any effort any creative endeavour. There are many complex aspect to this component, however, to get a massive kick-start do this exercise:

Write out "I am awesome because..." and list 50 answers.

Self-belief and self appreciation will be on turbo power!

Tip 2 - O - Orientation True North
Many make finding and following your life's purpose way more complicated than it needs to be. For those who like to ponder, I recommend the following texts for guidance:

• Martha Beck's Steering by Starlight
• Lance Secretan's The Spark, the Flame, the Torch
• Guy Finley's The Giant Leap

And for the ultimate in life purpose guidance I turn to Sir Richard Branson: "do what you love and have fun." Period. That's it! Nice, huh?!

Tip 3 - M - Magnetic Ripples

This is about how to connect deeply with others and create momentum on your dreams. How do you do THAT?

Start with compassion. That's knowing and understanding how someone else might be feeling (walk in someone else's high heels), and then be able to act with wisdom (so you don't get swept away with feelings). This about letting emotions release without releasing all over someone else! Tales practise.

Tip 4 - P - Panoramic 360 view
This is the capacity to look and see from as many different perspectives as possible. You can use the virtual Board of Directors to help flesh this one and give it some legs. (I have Sir Richard Branson, the Dalai Lama, my coach, Warren Buffet on my directors table). From time to time I consult them about a decision. It helps get some broader perspective that's for sure!

Tip 5 - A - Architecture of Beliefs
This aspect is critical. Beliefs are your operating software; they're either running programs that run smoothly with little effort, or they serve up struggle-street. Knowing how to re-wire beliefs is the single most powerful self-mastery skill you can master for long-term results.

How to do this? There are a multitude of techniques. Here is the simplest. Pick a belief you want running your life. For example, "I can have anything I desire." Write it out. Write it out again. Repeat 21 times per day. Repeat with enthusiasm and conviction. Whisper it to yourself as you go to sleep. Repetition will anchor the new belief as your new operating software.

Tip 6 - S - Surroundings
Never underestimate how your surroundings affect your attitude and your outcomes. There is lot of fun stuff to do here - including feng shui, colour, scents, decorating, and more.

Here's an easy tip: pick something you don't like in your surroundings. Replace it with something that makes you heart sing. Repeat each week with something new until everything in your surroundings makes your heart sing.

Tip 7 - Self-care
I have not met a single person who had no room to improve in this area. Seriously, self-care needs to be upgraded for most of us. It could be any aspect - sleep, nutrition, exercise, rest, relaxation, wardrobe, car cleanliness, see the dentist, get regular checks (blood pressure, eyes, hearing, breasts, etc), time out.

You probably know where you need to improve. So pick one thing (say, drink 2 more glasses of water per day) and do it.

Mastery of Self is the first ring in the 5 Rings of Magnetic Leadership. These are the capacities I help my clients fine tune so they can continue to expand as influential, capable leaders. I share with them all the how-tos and finer details in my program, the Co-Creators of Awesomeness. Check it out here.

Now you can get the support materials I publish for my exclusive coaching clients, and coach yourself to Self Mastery. I look forward to you joining us!

Zoe
p.s. If you join before the end of 2011 you can get ongoing access to the coaching resources at the current introductory rate. So hop on over and get started now :)

Put Your A** On The Line

As I sat nervously waiting for my first radio interview about the fun run, Branson's tip about putting your a** on the line bubbled up. He meant that if you care that deeply about something, let go of your small ego fears of being judged or rejected, and step up and get your message out.

I always tell my clients if they face a difficult public speaking engagement to remember just that - it's not about you, it's about your message.

And my message for the fun run was: there is life after cancer, as my own story attests, that a small group of concerned citizens can make things happen and make a difference, that you don't fight cancer but surrender instead to the journey to wellness, that Australian researchers need our financial support to find better treatments and preventative measures to translate cancer into 'no big deal' status.

This was not about how I sounded on radio. This was much more important than that.

And here's the thing:  we've all got a story to tell, a message to give, a project to deliver, a mission to achieve that makes a difference.

And that's worth putting our a**, and ego, on the line.

To your butt, hanging out on the line,

Zoe

The Dalai Lama and Chickens: Insights

What does the Dalai lama say when he's got just half an hour? He speaks from the heart. Here is what he said (and I hung on every word):

1. Money is important but it is not the absolute source of happiness. Love, compassion, and forgiveness give you the emotional strength and freedom to be happy. My thoughts: abundance of money is the offspring of happiness, not the cause of it.

2. There are two forms of compassion: biological and trained. Biological compassion comes as a result of attachment to others, like your parents and children, and in response to others' behaviour and attitude. In other words, conditional compassion. Trained compassion is where the compassion is directed towards the person themselves, irrespective of their behaviour or situation, in genuine concern for their well-being. It is a learned and developed capacity. It is basically unconditional compassion.

It is trained compassion, unconditional compassion, which is the more powerful and important version of compassion. And it can be developed through awareness and practise. Test your level right now: can you forgive and accept someone as a human being, regardless if they've murdered, or tortured or maimed someone else? If you said 'no', then you've got to develop a little bit more of your compassion muscle.

The Dalai Lama says differentiating the human being from their behaviour is key. This is how he can love and accept and feel compassion for his Chinese 'brothers and sisters' while at the same time condemning the behaviour of murder and torture. The two are separate. And seeing the human being apart from the action, gives the opportunity to forgive and promote healing - and therefore change. My thoughts: nothing really hurts when you see it through eyes of love.

3. When asked, "is the world getting better or worse?" the Dalai Lama said, "Better, definitely better. There are huge positive changes that have occurred around the world due to non-violent focus and change and that is a good thing. Science and spirituality are coming closer together and that is a good thing. There is increased caring in the world and that is a good thing. Human rights and the right of self-determination are now being discussed openly on a global scale, and that is a very good thing indeed."

4. When asked, "what kind of leadership does the world need right now?" he answered, "contemporary leadership needs more compassion, more love, more forgiveness. And biologically, women have more of a natural capacity for these things, therefore the world needs to encourage more women leaders, to bring more compassion on to the world stage."

5. The chicken story. When asked, "why is there such cruelty to animals and how can I become more forgiving and compassionate towards those who torture animals?" The Lama said, "when I was in India, they had chickens stuffed into cages and right beside the vegetables. They treated the chickens like they were vegetables, with no regard to their experience, no compassion for what it would be like to be the chicken. So educating others about the welfare and experience of animals is a very good thing - this brings compassion. I think also that being a vegetarian is a very good thing also."

Compassion and care for animals is certainly in the news lately, and I welcome all discussion on it here.

As a vegetarian and enthusiastic chicken owner, I also support the care and consideration of all sentient beings.

What do you think? What does the world need more of?

Zoe

p.s. * Resources and opportunities continue to flood my desk and I am thrilled to share them with you.

1. Inner Compass store is on sale The 3 Pillars of Personal Power, my signature and best-selling product, is on sale at its launch price of $67 - save $80. I love this product - I know you will too. It is the simplest and easiest way to implement deliberate creation principles. Notes from a Coach is making an impression with plenty of you buying this one, and 63 Success Strategies you can also grab for $17. 

2. Sneak Peek - please vote! The Inner Compass laboratory is brimming with new ways to be of service to you - please vote for your favourite idea, and I will guarantee you will get first notice, with a special awesome deal of course. Vote here.

3. Health and Wellness Giveaway Event - There are some really cool resources in this one. Plus they are also offering the chance to win a $50 paypal voucher, just for joining up for free and having a surf around. 756 gifts in there - cool. Check it out here

4. Kaizen Gifts Promotion- this is another fantastic free event by Henry Gold. It's got more of an internet marketing focus, with self-development gifts in there too. In fact, I just downloaded a whole bunch of them myself. I've offered "Three Wealth Manifestation Audios" as a special gift -check it out.

3 Great Leadership and Self-Development Books for June

If you want great results, you need great behaviours/habits, beliefs, values, focus. So how do you cultivate a winning and positive attitude? Sometimes it's born from your environment (if you are very lucky): your parents taught you all about how to identify your soul purpose, were encouraging in every way, taught you how to live in line with your values, and gave you excellent experiences.

Even if you did have this idyllic upbringing, learning and growing is a natural state of being. One of the ways I love to evolve is by exposure to other great leaders, and through great writers.

Here are three awesome books that will definitely expand your thinking.

1. "Losing My Virginity" by Richard Branson
What an awesome story! Some of the things I discovered were: Branson has a fear of public speaking (amazing but true), he had many failures including his first venture the journal Student, he made every business decision based primary and mostly on the metric 'is it fun?' Reading about the evolution of the Virgin brand is the evolution and expansion of a human being's capacity to dream, dare, and bring people along with you. Rating: awesome.

2. "The Spark, the Flame, and the Torch - Inspire Self. Inspire Others. Inspire the World" by Lance Secretan
This is one of the most accessible leadership books I've ever read. Plus, it has the easiest and most powerful methodologies for determining your 'life purpose' that I've ever encountered: start with what you consider the 'terrathreats' - the one or two things that are at the root cause of humanity's concerns. Summarise in one word if possible. Next, identity its exact opposite - this becomes your 'terrafix'. Play with the terrafix as a statement, and you have your life purpose and destiny. Cool, huh? Secretan follows with more practical and easy  to sift focus on your calling and character, values to lead by, and how to lead and inspire others. An excellent read for all people - leaders in the home, community, life, and business.

3. "The Answer" by John Assaraf
This is the best read I have found that explains beautifully the quantum physics principles behind the law of attraction and how these blend in a practical way with business development. Assaraf's 'neuroconditioning' process is also easy-to-understand and easy to implement - and it works! The basics: get into a feel-good state, imagine and visualise in vivid details what you want to create/be/experience, repeat several times per day with affirmation statements and other subconscious reminders. Since I started implementing his strategy, I have had a significant change in revenue and an influx of new, amazing opportunities. It works and I am definitely a fan.

Got some other good reads to recommend? Please let us know in the 'comments'

Zoe
p.s. We explore and study all aspect of deliberate creation and leadership each week in the Co-Creators of Awesomeness - join us for a 3 week-trial for just $1. www.cocreatorsofawesomeness.com

Live export ban: a failure of leadership

Like many, I was sickened by the ABC's Four Corners report on cruelty to animals footage in Indonesian abattoirs. [warning: video footage is very distressing].

From a leadership point of view, the decision is obvious: stop the cruelty now. It's the humane thing to do.

If only leadership decisions were that black and white. Unfortunately not. And that's where the reactionary blanket ban by Minister Joe Ludwig and the Australian Government is an example of leadership failure.

Let's consider the relevant points:

• Animal cruelty at some Indonesian abattoirs is unacceptable and unnecessary. Agreed.
• Everything ought to be done to eradicate this treatment. Agreed.
• There are cultural differences in slaughter. Traditional halal slaughter requires slitting of the throat of a live animal. It is believed that a cut with a sharp knife is the most painless process of slaughter. The translation of this theory into mass-production practice has been warped into torturous processes. Agreed.
• Some halal practitioners don't believe in stunning animals first because it is not seen as halal. (Animals need to be lain down and faced towards Mecca). Getting Indonesian processes to change their practises will be difficult from a cultural and financial point of view. Agreed.
• Livestock Australian businesses knew about the conditions in Indonesia and did nothing. Not quite - Meat and Livestock Australia and Livecorp have been working on changing cultural beliefs, conditions, and practises in Indonesia.
• Stopping all trade to Indonesia is the right thing to do to force movement on this issue. Maybe. Maybe not.

Let's consider the consequences of this decision:

• A ban of the trade now strands thousands of cattle which if they gain 1kg, will no longer be accepted in Indonesia for slaughter. Where do these cattle now go? This is what many businesses are trying to sort out. They may end up being shipped south east in Australia to other abattoirs. 
• If these animals are shipped south then the market will be flooded, and prices will crash - affecting many southern Australian businesses.
• There are no Aussie abattoirs for export in the top end within 2500kms - it would bankrupt many northern end businesses.
• And with the sudden drop in supply in Indonesia, people who live on $2 per day will now have to contend with the potential of soaring prices. 

It's called the domino effect.

And it may not even have any effect on the methodology of slaughter in Indonesia.

Questions for consideration


Should animal welfare take precedence over economic sustainability of businesses and communities? I've been to northern Australia and seen first hand the remote communities that rely on this trade. The blanket ban will crush their business, and cause long-term ripple effects in already susceptible and fragile communities.

Does it really have to come down to animals versus people?

So where does the moral responsibility lie?

With the Indonesian slaughterhouse workers? Yes. The torture and mistreatment is not acceptable - in any culture.

But what about the slaughterhouse providers who believe they are doing the right thing according to God's law? How do you say to them, "Australian values are more important than Indonesian ones"?

Changing values - even what appears to be such an obvious black-and-white issue of torture - is not easy. It takes education, persistence, and commitment. And a deep-seated belief that YOUR values are indeed better than someone else's - values and beliefs that have evolved over thousands of years, upheld by millions.

And what of the Australian businesses and organisations who have either been turning a blind eye or using a 'good enough' approach? They have to settle with their own consciences with this one. Some businesses have already pulled their cattle from various abattoirs. Still others ship only to abattoirs in Indonesia where the conditions and methodologies are to international humane standards, set up Australians and managed by ex-pats.

The blanket ban has prevented even the businesses that are doing the right thing from shipping their animals overseas.


The decision looks good - it appears to be taking the high moral ground. But it's punishing those who are doing the right thing as well those who aren't.

So why else does a vegetarian who has been meat-free for 26 years come to disagree with the blanket cattle ban?


I've been to a feedlot this year (where cattle are sent pre-slaughter to fatten up). I was nervous beforehand - worried about seeing distressed and tortured animals. What I saw was the complete opposite. The cattle were the happiest animals I have ever seen. Content, well-treated, peaceful even.

The feedlot staff love the animals and look after them. There is not the callous, disassociated attitude I expected.

Plus distressed cattle release adrenalin in to the flesh which apparently makes the meat tough and yucky to eat. More incentive for the process to be humane.

And then they take them for slaughter and eat the meat.

This part I still find weird. That's the vegetarian part of me that just can't take the leap to eating dead flesh. I do eat fish however, so I too, am no moral saint.

The real issue however is the ban does not solve the problem. Indonesian abattoirs will continue to slaughter the animals the way they have been doing. Maybe with some financial pressure change might come. But this is basically a clash of cultural values. A moral impasse. There is deeper work to do than just economic blackmail.

Here is the leadership failure:
The government's knee-jerk reaction - the blanket ban - without full and due consideration of all knock-on effects of the decision and without supporting businesses who are managing the trade in a humane way. Those businesses are being affected too and not being supported for their ethical decisions.

So what should we do?

As a deliberate creation practitioner, when faced with massive contrast (contrast: something I loathe and find deeply distressing) I know that the only solution is to focus on what I DO want (not on what I don't).

• I want the humane treatment of all animals -whether to be harvested for food, or as pets, or as service animals.
• I want all businesses involved in animal flesh production to treat their animals with care, respect, and dignity - in all parts of the rearing and harvesting.
• I want all businesses to maintain their own moral compass and make decisions based on that, rather than on metrics.
• I want my government to show proactive big-thinking leadership - to accept and manage complexity of international values system, alongside animal welfare and economics.

We all want a better, more peaceful world. It starts with acknowledging the wrong thing when we see it,  and move immediately to what we want instead.

This is not about a witch hunt; this is about leadership in shades of grey where our moral code is challenged. It's not easy. But we can do better.

Raw and Naked: Leadership in the Real World

I've had two outstanding weeks with wonderful leaders - of organisations, industries, companies. I was facilitating a leadership program for seasoned leaders - focused on deep self-awareness, new and expansive ways of thinking, and profound shifts required in leadership for our world.

Our world - volatile, inter-connected, dizzying rates of change in all areas, and much in need of values-driven leadership.

We looked at futurist thinking - spotting global trends and forecasting their effects on our own patch of grass. We tried out creative thinking processes - for fresh ideas on old issues. We pondered the evolution of the leadership maturity framework and how we can evolve our thinking and being in the world for deep social impact.

And beyond the profound intellectual insights, these truths resonated:

Leadership is a profoundly personal path. It's arduous, turbulent, unknown, and risky.

One thing is assured: when you don the mantel of leader, you are profoundly changed forever.

To influence as a leader you need to scrub yourself clean - of old thought patterns and beliefs that limit your confidence, shackle your confidence. This is a scary process - you must burn away the old comfortable skin - and be willing to stand naked, in the raw truth of who you really are. And there, in your bare glory, be ok with all that you find - vulnerabilities, desires, foibles, failings. Strengths, courage, and passion too.

It is only when we show deep compassion and acceptance for ourselves that we can create that space for others. In our shimmering honesty, we invite the truth from others. We build a space of openness, of courage, of integrity.

That's the kind of world I want to live in. A world where we value the strength it takes to show vulnerability, we honour the courage it takes to admit being wrong, and the courage to risk making mistakes.

I don't want the world we often find ourselves in: the one where titles masquerade as leadership, where bravado falsely implies courage, where values are waved as flags instead of embraced as the architecture of our soul.

I want to live in this - the real world - of truth, compassion, and integrity where leaders stand raw, naked,  profoundly honest and utterly inspiring.

Do you know a leader like that? I'd love to hear about them. Maybe it's you! Please share yourself with the world!

40 Kick-Ass Thoughts and Things

I turned 40 last week. Hooray! There is much to celebrate about my 40 turns around the sun. Here are a few pearls of wisdom - and I invite you to share yours (pretty please!).

1. A breakdown is the declutter of bullshit before the breakthrough. Irritating and painful, but true.
2. People who drive you nuts are there to bring you back to your true self. Even the nose pickers and interrupters.
3. Chickens have more personality than you'd think. What else are you missing?
4. Jealousy is a sign you can be better than you currently are. Admire don't envy. At least, don't envy for too long or you'll get grumpy pants.
5. You don't need any excuse to be happy. Be the excuse to be happy!
6. Every day above ground is another day to savour. And eat chocolate and sit in the sun.
7. Boys look a little funny naked.
8. Eating snot is just soooo wrong.
9. 'Experiential learning' is a euphemism for f***g up and learning the hard way. At least you won't forget the lessons.
10. From a quantum physics point of view, there is a little bit Saddam Hussein, Jesus Christ, and Brittney Spears in all of us. Eeeewwww.
11. Marketing your stuff is really about lining you up with what you love about your own product. You don't love it, no one else will either. I love my stuff!
12. You get what you focus on. What you focus on expands. So stop staring at your butt! Boobs are a good alternative.
13. Sometimes getting cancer is the best thing that can happen to you. Ask Lance Armstrong. Or me. I'm five years cancer free, never been healthier, wealthier, or happier.
14. When your mother touches a raw nerve, she's just doing her job. She's pointing out what you need to clean up, resolve, get over, address, or forget about.
15. Your worth is not equivalent to the number of subscribers, twitter followers, or facebook friends. That's just decoration. 
16. The vibe rules! Having a good vibe is juicy enough. You don't need it to do anything for you (although it will).
17. I don't care who you are or how much you love your baby, a nappy still stinks.
18. You don't need to give birth to feel all the love, compassion, empathy, and support that mothering calls you to express. Otherwise boys would really be screwed.
19. You can learn to love celery. Especially with peanut butter. Yummm...
20. Creating your own stripper ass is a noble and worthy cause. May there be more of them in the world.
21. There are so many delicious and beautiful places to visit in this world. I'll start with skiing in Japan. Or British Columbia.
22. Even though he was a complete jerk, there is something completely mesmerising about King Henry VIII. What is it?? What does that say about me? Hmm.. maybe I need to work on this one a little.
23. If you can see Hitler as a human being worthy of compassion and forgiveness, then you are an evolved higher being who owes it to the world to lead others.
24. Law of Attraction is for real. That means you really are in charge of your life. Are you driving the car, or hiding in the backseat?
25. You don't need anybody else to believe in Law of Attraction in order for you to have a very, very cool life.
26. Everything is always happening for your highest good. Especially the things that piss you off.
27. Feeling good is reason enough to feel good.
28. Thank you God for sex. And chocolate cheesecake. And kittens. And dry socks after hiking.
29. Really great things to say to someone else: 'I love you.' 'I hear you.' 'I see you.' 'I feel you.' 'You are worthy.' Never underestimate the power of encouragement and acknowledgment.
30. Two words that have the power to change everything: "I am".
31. Angels and spirit guides are for real. You don't need proof! Just go with it - it's fun to believe.
32. Keep learning - it inspires a lust for life. Just ask George Dawson who learned to read at 98.
33. We are our own block to success. And our own secret to success too. Which side of the coin are you choosing?
34. Each person is God in fleshy clothes.
35. We've all a got a vibrational signature - our default mode of thinking and feeling. What are you broadcasting? Today I'm on content and creative. Think I'll dial up 'joyful and awesome'.
36. Roger Federer is still number one. Forever. So there. But he still needs me as his coach. Someone please tell him.
37. "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl
38. Belief is powerful. You can live on air if you believe it will work. No joke. But who would give up avocadoes, bananas, chocolate, and sourdough bread?
39. I love you all. No exceptions. with everything I've got.
40. I am happy. Thank you for being in my life and sharing your energy with me. I am blessed.

Sending you much love and appreciation,

Zoe

p.s. please share your birthday wisdom with me! I'm still learning - would love to learn from you!

The exception shows there is no rule: impossible becomes possible

How long could you go without food or water? The 'experts' say 3 weeks without food, maybe a week without water.

How about seven decades - seventy years?

Apparently this Indian dude did it:



I started doing a little surfing on the net about this one and learned a little about 'breath-a-tarians' - people who survive on breath alone, gaining energy from sunlight, 'prana' or lifeforce in the breath.

Woah Nellie - it's freaky stuff.

Are these people freaks? (OK yes I think so a little - who would want to give up red wine, chocolate, and cheesecake and triple cream brie? My word, not I!)

So they're freaks in the current context of my experience.

But they're doing it. For real.

They've made the 'impossible' possible.

Which leads me to think, what else is possible?

Every new discovery was once an impossibility - human flight, electricity, the telephone, fax, and email.

It all comes down to belief.

Indian dude can live on breath and yoga and meditation alone because he believes it is so. He has a visceral understanding of his universe that allows it.

I would have to fight against forty years of cultural immersion and hard core, hard-wired beliefs to get to the point where I believed all I needed was a bit of chanting meditation and bob's your uncle, no more hefty shopping bills.

The other thing is, I don't want to believe in that for me. I am happy with eating and drinking - it's one of life's great pleasures.

But I am willing to explore the down river thoughts that come from knowing the exception proves there are no rules:

I can believe and experience anything I want:

I can change my beliefs to have "My metabolism is a raging furnace - everything I eat gets turned straight to high powered fuel. I have a hard time putting on weight. I maintain my weight super easily."

or how about this one:

"I am a money magnet - opportunities and wealth flow to me in juicy abundance"

or this one:

"Everything I experience is for my highest good and the highest good of all concerned. I am blessed."

The other thing about the crazy Indian dude that has me wondering, "Could meditation and enlightenment really be better than sex, chocolate, and red wine?"

I'm open to it!

Let's go for something bigger though:
If a man or woman can live on breath alone and can feel that kind of transcendence whilst still living in human form, is it possible to:

• End wars and live in global peace
• Stabilise consumption and harmonise existence in a perfect healthy balance
• Heal disease and promote vitality for all
• Laugh more than we cry
• Hug more than we hit
• Love everyone and every thing without restraint or judgment or qualification.

What about you? What impossible thing is possible now for you?

Magnetic Leader: When Feedback Fails

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.10
Hello!

My flu is well and truly done and dusted. In fact it only lasted five days. I owe my awesome recovery to a new easy-as-pie resting methodology called "Intentional Resting". So easy and I find it shifts my state of mind (and body) instantly. Give it a go and let me know what you think.

I'm writing this edition from lovely sunny Bega as my honey does his lawyer thing in a divorce settlement conference. It's funny how we do the same type of work, from totally different platforms - we both help our clients move to a better-feeling place. And then we have the rest of the weekend here at the coast - yippee!

This week's message is from a weird experience when someone's view of the world has no intersection at all with the other person who is providing them feedback. I'd love your take on this one!

Zoe


WEBCASTS
"People Who Drive You Nuts (and what to do about it)"
Re-scheduled for Friday 9 July 10am Canberra, that's 8 July, 8pm edt (New York) - call in details on a new service - TalkShoe to follow - once I figure out how to use it


MAIN ARTICLE: "When Feedback Fails"

This is what happened: When I was at Outward Bound, "Jonas" was an off-the-wall instructor who had a good heart, bad habits, and (in my opinion) a skewed view of the world. He was caught smoking (a big no-no on a non-smoking property), he enjoyed a bit of pot - ok, a lot of pot, and the unforgivable - was dominant and oppressive in his communication style.

Oh yeah - did I mention he was my boyfriend at the time? Yup. It was going to be a challenging conversation.

I did all the background work, analysed the situation, looked at the issue from both perspectives. I meditated, reflected, asked opinions, purged my fear and angst. I prepared my constructive feedback sandwiched with positive observations. I rehearsed a distilled cut-through sentence to grab his attention and let the impact of his behaviour be known. It went something like, "I respect and appreciate your right to make choices, and if you keep making these types of choices we can't work together anymore."

Then the day came and my well-rehearsed speech rolled off my trembling tongue. Ta da.

His face buckled and rumbled alike an alien frog. Something I said was causing a major disconnect.

In response to my statement, "Smoking pot is illegal" he said, "So is planting weeds in the Murrumbidgee river corridor."

What the....? How is that in any way relevant? How can the two even compare? (to clarify, he was referring to the imported species of snapdragon flowers I had planted in the garden outside my house). Planting non-natives in the corridor was indeed illegal, but my house was beside the corridor, not in it. Boy this still pi**es me off ten years later!)

So here he was now pressing my buttons: he was clearly not listening to anything I was telling him, deliberately not hearing my perspective or understanding the great ethical dilemma he was forcing me into - remain faithful and say nothing and thereby ditch my own ethics of honesty and anti-pot sentiment.

My view of the world was in complete clash with his: he saw environmental vandalism as far worse than pot-smoking (which in his opinion was a peaceful benign drug that should be legal anyway). He just didn't get my moral dilemma. In fact, he refused to acknowledge or paraphrase anything I was saying.

Stalemate. Feedback failure.

And of course this is exactly where traditional management methods and leadership strategies ultimately fail: when we imagine we can force our view of the word on someone else, when we believe we can talk someone into behaving the way we want them to, then we are doomed to fail.

The world doesn't work like that.

It does work like this:

When I am in control of my vibrational alignment, when I know what I want and focus on that with joyful appreciation, when I hold that picture of what I truly desire - how I want to feel most of all - it creates a vortex of attraction that lines up people, things, opportunities, and situations that resonate.

So if I find myself in a destructive relationship with a pot-smoking cantankerous bully boyfriend, my work is NOT to try and change HIM - my work is to change MY thoughts, MY feelings.

I make peace with what is. Instead of beating myself up about my failure in judgment of character and picking yet another dud boyfriend, I accept that all my choices are in my ultimate good (even if takes me ten years to see the benefits and be able to write about it without too much angst). In making peace with what is, I can ask, "Well what do I want instead?" and I  start to revel in the essence of what I want: a relationship with a man who respects and shares my value, someone who can communicate like a sensible person, someone who is healthy and respects their body, someone who likes gardening! And I left the space open for that to be Jonas. Or not.

So what happened? I resigned my from my role (that's a whole other post about being bullied, not standing up for myself and other leadership lessons) - and this gave me tremendous relief. From there I kept flowing the desire of what I  wanted in my relationship and the best feeling place was away from Jonas. So we broke up. Six months later I met my honey, Rob. He doesn't like gardening much, but he loves our chickens and has run three marathons with me.

Coach's challenge:
What about you? When has feedback really worked well? When hasn't it and why? Could you make peace with what is and focus on the essence of what you want instead? Share your tips!

Zoe
Related posts:
Power and Drama: How to cut the crap
The Leader As Crucible: A New Magnetic Way To Lead


RESOURCES


Good Vibe University

I've been hanging out a lot at the Good Vibe U. There are some incredibly knowledgeable contributors about Law of Attraction and some awesome resources.


I will also be teaching a series on the "Core Dynamics of Common Problems" in July. It's free for GVU members.


Check out the Good Vibe University now!

The Magnetic Leader: Who's got the Vision?

The Magnetic Leader Ezine, Vol 1.9, 4 June 2010
Hello!

After a week of nursing a cold, I am feeling a little better - thanks for all the well-wishes - they really helped me! And thanks to barb who quoted my own advice back to me: "It's no big deal, no small children will die from the re-schedule." A great reminder.

I've been itching to write all week, so I've taken a break from slothing on the couch to connect with you. First I want to share the marvellous Future Leaders of the Wine Industry with you - here is my awesome group that started their 6 month leadership program last week with torrential rain, cold temperatures, and consistent laughter. This is a program I am designing and delivering for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation.

I love this work! Together they are discovering their capacity as leaders as well a the power of collaborative thinking. Stay tuned. Oh, and the wines they share are delicious too :)

Zoe

MAIN ARTICLE: "Who's got the Vision?"

One of the bumph myths about leadership is that the leaders is supposed to have the vision.

Rubbish!

Back in the good ole days perhaps that was true. A charismatic daring leader stepped forth with a fresh and inspiring picture of what was possible. Think Braveheart. Think Joan of Arc. Think Donald Trump.

But respectively they've ended up disembowelled, burned at the stake, and bald.


Do we need hero leaders? 

Not really. Not anymore. The world has changed and hero leadership is limited and short sighted. 

We need hero leaders for good stories. At least Mel Gibson does!

So if we don't have a hero leader with a bright shiny vision, who's got the vision?

The tribe does.

A leader of the tribe has one singular purpose:

To elicit the common vision that inspires and unites the tribe.

How does a leader do that?

They create the space for conversation and sharing.

How a leader runs their conversations - both individually and as a group - is the secret to tribal success.

By the way, when I say 'tribe' I mean any group: a community, a family, an organisation, a work team, an industry.

Here are a few key tips for creating that sacred space for sharing and magic:

1. Come from a place of love, peace, and respect. And mean it. Be it. Do it. Show it. Love in leadership is an under-rated and under-spoken currency that feeds the soul of the tribe.

2. Don't rush the magic. Gather in a circle where everyone is at the same level, with no physical obstructions between them. Allow silence. Feel the ebbs and flows. Gather ideas without judgment. acknowledge all contributions.

3. Membership is non-negotiable. Everyone who gathers in the tribe has full membership rights and are to be treated equally, regardless if they get up your nose or not.

There are many others - and I invite you to share your thoughts and reflections on leaders creating sacred space for sharing and creating a common vision.

Zoe

RESOURCES
1. The Art of Hosting and Harvesting Conversations That Matter
28-31 July 2010. International co-hort of practitioners invites you to the Australian South Coast to learn how to host new conversations for a better future.

Read more here.


2. Good Vibe University

This awesome tribe is run by good friend and colleague Jeannette Maw (I am a raving fan of hers). She has gathered together a wonderful group of people who are collaborating and sharing their wisdom, expertise, and experiences in applying deliberate creation principles.
There are teleclasses, forums, and resources - worth thousands (no joke) for a ridiculously affordable price. I recommend everything Jeannette does - I am sure if you love law of Attraction principles, you will love this too.


Check out the Good Vibe University now!


3. Three Pillars of Personal Power

You know what, I really love this product. I put it together, it's true, so yes, I am fully biased However, it is an excellent piece of work that guides you through some fundamentals of law of attraction and deliberate creation, including the big stumbling block - BELIEFS and how they keep tripping you up. You can change them forever to support you.


Don't just take my word for it though - explore for yourself.

Zoe Routh is a Magnetic Leadership coach and expert with over 20 years experience in leadership and personal development, maximising the potential of youth and adults through outdoor adventure. She has worked with thousands of individuals and groups and counts amongst her previous leadership roles Staff and Training Director of Outward Bound Australia, President of the Chamber of Women in Business, and Chair of the Outdoor Council of Australia. Zoe also develops and delivers leadership programs for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation.

Her programs "The Magnetic Leader" and "Magnetic Teams" harness the power of deliberate creation for a more engaged and dynamic workplace: clients achieve goals faster and easier, having a lot more fun.


In her various adventures Zoe has paddled 30 weeks by canoe in northwest Ontario, run 6 marathons, hiked hundreds of kilometres in Australia’s outback, bellydanced at various festivals, lived through cancer, married a fair dinkum Aussie bloke, and wrestled a 6 meter crocodile. It's all true, except for the crocodile part.

Blue Suit Leadership (and how to avoid it)

You've seen them - buttoned up and squeezed into that blue suit uniform - men and women at networking functions, business lunches, board rooms, and the ubiquitous blue suit conference.

It's a sea of uniformity, stoic observation of tradition and formality, toeing the party line, maintaining status quo.

It's stifling, restrictive, limiting, and...bloody boring.


However there is something comforting  in the 'blue suit' paradigm: you belong to a tribe.

But following the tribe blindly can lead you into all sorts of trouble.

Think Global Financial Crisis. Think Zimbabwe. Think Holocaust.

Now these extreme examples may seem to be outside the usual small business experience, but I assure you, Blue Suit

Leadership is alive and well in business and it's killing your potential.

There are three alternatives to amorphous 'blue suit' leadership:


1. "Backpack Leadership"

This is the tribe that doesn't settle for the same old, same old, but look on every every situation as a new challenge with unknown horizons to explore. Enthusiasm abounds and 'Tally ho' and 'you beauty' are their rallying cry.


Their conversation is dominated by questions such as:

• "What would happen if we tried..."
• "How do we want it to look like?"
• "If we had ten million dollars to play with right now what would we do with it?"
• "What does our [inner/values] compass say about which way to go?"

2. "Board Shorts Leadership"

This tribe sees their job as a vocation: they are passionate and fun-loving. They find a way to make every task a delight.

Enjoyment and satisfaction in the process are primary considerations.

And because everyone is having fun, they feel valued, are loyal to the group and its vision, and are significant contributors to the
prosperity of the business.


They ask questions like,

• "How can we make this a better experience for everyone - customer, colleagues, service providers?"
• "What would make this a ten out of ten product/service/business/relationship?"
• "How do you feel about this?"
• "What does your intuition say about this?"

3. "Naked Leadership"

This tribe is stripped bare - of pretence, of hiding, of masquerading. They look at the raw truth and see it all in its naked glory.

They call attention to the pink elephants.


They ask questions like,

• "What are we pretending not to know?"
• "What's the question we're afraid to ask?"
• "If we knew the answer what might it be?"

Naked leaders are genuine, authentic, honest, forthright, and...

Courageous.

It takes guts to bare all and speak the truth.


Coach's Challenge
What kind of leadership are you showing in your life and business? Are you buttoned up or hanging loose in your boardies? Are you following convention or are you lacing up your trekking boots? Is your closet dark and dreary or are you sitting like Buddha in your birthday suit?

I challenge you to try something a little different, a little out of the ordinary. And tell us about it! We want to hear about your Naked Leadership experience - the world needs your inspiration!

The #1 Secret of Magnetic Leaders

Have you ever been around someone who seems to generate their own positive stratosphere? Someone you can't help being drawn to, appreciating their words of wisdom as well as their very presence?

I've had a few coaches that fit the bill. And the odd stand-out colleague. They're the ones where you think, "I want to be like her when I grow up."

Magnetic leaders are mesmerising, influential, and engaging. They're generous, warm, and you just want to hang out in their bubble.

So what's the secret?

It's not a big personality. It's not charisma in a life-of-the-party sense of the word. They don't necessarily need to command the centre of attention or collect accolades.

A magnetic leader expands beyond their own personal needs with a vision grander than themselves and their own immediate sphere of influence.

Simply, they intend to make a difference on a grand scale, for the greater good.

Sounds a bit altruistic.

Can anyone really be that self-less?

Yes.

And here's their secret:

Magnetic leaders are relentless disciplinarians of self-love.

Now I'm not going all hippy-like on you - self-love as an integral leadership practise ought to be your first priority, whether you are chief executive of a multi-conglomerate or head of a family unit.

Self-love is a critical leadership strategy: you simply cannot invite others to share from your cup if it's empty. This is not just about pampering and good hygiene (though this is a wonderful expression of self-love).

Self-love as a practise includes the following:

1. Genuine and frequent appreciation of your achievements.
2. Deep compassion for yourself, especially for all past wrongs you berate yourself for.
3. Self-talk that is nurturing and not self-deprecating. Even the little 'inconsequential' messages make a difference. You'll be amazed when you start catching yourself saying 'you idiot' or 'dummy' and so on when you drop a glass, forget to save a document, or stub your toe. Your subconscious doesn't know you did not really mean it - it takes you literally. So when you stuff up, it's not 'hey stupid you better fix that one up quick-smart', it's 'hey sweetheart, looks like this is an opportunity for personal growth'. Be gentle on yourself.
4. An abundance of time and space where you can indulge your soul in things that uplift - reading, listening to music, a walk in the woods - whatever it is that lights you up. There are plenty you ways to show yourself that you matter, that you deserve pleasure and happiness - 'just because' - and not because you've somehow earned it.

You don't earn self-love - you just do it. No one will treat you as well as you deserve when you don't do it for yourself.

And I don't want to hear, "I don't have the time to...' If the President of the USA and the Prime Minister of Australia can find time exercise and manage a self-love routine - then you can too.

P.S. If you liked this article, you'll love my colleague Jeannette Maw's program, The Art of Self Love.

Top 3 Leadership Mistakes that Screw Your Credibility

When my client asked me what I see as mistakes that people make in leadership roles, one example jumped to the fore - 'Sally'. Observing Sally is like watching a train smash in slow motion. She demonstrates the first two top leadership mistakes. The remaining one comes from examples closer to home.

Mistake 1: I'm right and you're wrong.

'Sally' is an extremely passionate and driven leader with the singular purpose of advocating against injustice. There are two major problems with her focus: the first is that she is so single-minded that she becomes a cyclopse in any debate. No matter what alternative viewpoint is presented, if it doesn't fit her version of the world it's just wrong. She even told her team-mate, 'if you don't like it, join another group.'

As soon as you say something like that, you ruin any chance of collaborative respectful discussion, miss the opportunity of tapping the collectivegenius, and alienate potential supporters. Your credibility as a leader turns to ash, and a new reputation as a bully jumps in to play.

The second problem with Sally's approach is that by advocating against injustice, she helps perpetuate it. If you push against anything, you help magnify it - what we resist persists, what we focus on expands. It would be far better to advocate for something. For example, advocate for peace (not against war), advocate for health (not against disease), advocate for prosperity and abundance (not against poverty).

All those wars on drugs, poverty, terrorism - all they do is prolong them by keeping attention on what is not wanted, instead of what is wanted.

Mistake 2: Taking your eye off the dashboard.

The dashboard is your key performance measures that show the health of your project, family, bank account, and how you are tracking against your goals. Again, Sally's brash and arrogant single-minded focus about the righteousness of her purpose skewered her other leadership responsibilities: she made rash decisions without considering the consequences against the bottom-line. She has now launched a marketing campaign that is likely to send her organisation broke within 12-18 months.

If she'd been watching the dashboard - her performance measures of cash flow and profitability - she could have seen in advance where the action might lead (down the toilet). Any choices you make as a leader and as a group have complex repercussions that aren't linear, but reverberate across different aspects of your project or organisation.

If you don't take a systems approach to strategic planning, you miss projecting the impact of your choices. Watching the dashboard - the trends of your performance measures - shows you whether or not you need to tweak strategies you've implemented. Just like the old adage - a butterfly flaps its wings and an earthquake results - is true: everything is connected and affected by our actions. Using a systems thinking approach you can see where your interventions and actions will leverage the best results. Sadly, Sally missed this premise.

Mistake 3: Not giving up soon enough.

What has giving up have to do with leadership? Everything, if you're running a losing campaign. For me this lesson was hammered home when I was leading a local community-based organisation. I was of the opinion that the organisation was failing in its objective and if we didn't change the structure and focus of the group, it would simply continue to struggle on, sapping the energy, time, and good-will of its volunteer members. I facilitated a discussion around this issue with the leadership team and many agreed the current situation was unsustainable. However when it came to vote on changing the structure, fear of change prevailed and the group agreed to try harder to maintain the status quo. I found myself out in front with no one behind - my team would not follow.

It was time to quit. But the real lesson was this: I should have quit long before. Why? Not because people disagreed with my ideas, but for a far more elemental reason. If I had done proper due diligence before I agreed to take the leadership role I would have discovered that there was a fundamental clash of vision, values, and purpose between me and the rest of the group. I discovered too late that I was simply in the wrong tribe.

What about you? Have you had an experience where you transformed a group from the inside out? Or perhaps you quit and started your own group? Are there any other leadership mistakes you've seen (or made yourself) that would help others to know about? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts.

The One Thing You MUST Do Before Planning Next Year

And that thing is...

To review this year!

Sounds obvious, but have you done it yet?

We get so caught up with going from one thing to the next we forget to savour what we have already achieved.

So it's time for some reflection, and some pat-on-the-back action.

Here are some good journal questions to guide you:

• What was the theme of the year? What was the overall flavour of the year?
• Identify your Kodak moments - those times that were fabulous, brilliant and you'd like to capture forever.
• Record your successes in your journal. These could be anything from hitting record sales, to meeting your fitness goals, to feeling fantastic, to spending quality time with your kids. whatever it is, make sure you write it down.
• Highlights/lowlights. Everything is energy, and everything fluctuates - including the energy of your life, creating peaks and troughs. The good news is that once you make note of these, you'll learn how to move through the lows much more easily, knowing that another peak is to be expected.
• What did you learn this year? Life is about growth - what did you learn about yourself, others, technical skills, professional skills, your family?
• Who did you meet? This is a fun one! You probably met more people than you realise! Make note of these.
• Did you meet your goals – why or why not?
• What are you most proud of?

With these notes in hand you can put this year to bed, wish it goodnight, and prepare to welcome the dawn.

With love and appreciation.

Move From Intentions to Expectations

I've just hired a new prosperity coach to move me fully into 'rock-star' coach status. I've thought about hiring her for a long, long time.

But I got caught up in my own stumbling blocks: it's a lot of money, do I really need this, will it really work.

Plus the deeper ones that I don't like to look at much: am I worth it? how can I justify this? Shouldn't I be able to do this on my own?

Boy - that's a lot of self-punishment there! All designed to keep me in struggle, in old patterns of belief and inaction.

So I bit the bullet, guided by intuition, and made the first appointment - a week or so from now.

My intention in hiring her was to let go of self-doubt, and allow more abundance and prosperity in my life.

Seeing as she's the Money Coach expert, my intention, once I had contacted her, became an expectation. I just know it's going to make a huge difference to my results.

The certainty, the inevitability, of my expectation is loud and clear: this is going to happen, and it is going to work. I fully expect it to, I decided it will - it is! - and now all that was left was to experience it. I know in my bones it is coming to fruition - it's just a question of how and when - but I'm not stressed or worried about it. Just like waiting for my meal at a restaurant, I know it's on its way now that I've made the order.

It's how I felt about my Body Transformation results - I decided, I made a clear intention to follow through and live the results that I wanted, and practised the image in my head over and over until it became an inevitability - an expectation.

Now I'm a significant size smaller, bsuting with energy, and feel awesome. Just like I expected. Actually - even better than I expected!

And get this - after I emailed the coach to sign up, that very day I got an inquiry for my coaching services that would more than makeup for the investment in my coach. AND I hadn't even had my first session with my coach yet!

That's fast. That's how powerful this stuff is, folks!

You are deliberate creator - just give yourself permission to feel the truth of it.

Your Deliberate Creation Homework:

• Make a decision about what you really want.
• Act on that intention - no matter how small - even if it is to write it down as an affirmation.
• Next, rehearse it in your mind's eye until it becomes an expectation.
• Enjoy the process!

With love and appreciation.