Sunrise on the ridge outside of our lodge at Guthega. We skied the 400 vertical meters to the top on the second day, and then around the back above the tree line. Magic.
Approaching the T-bar for the first time, my heart started to pound. I don’t like heights. I don’t like being afraid of hurting myself at the top of a big hill when the only way out is down, with or without skis.
As I edged forward in the line, I heard my little inner voice speak up. It has the tone and pout of a three year old. We were late getting on the slopes, my skis kept falling out of their bindings, we hadn’t packed lunch, I was getting hungry, and it was somehow all Rob’s fault. My bottom lip trembled. In a second tears were going to roll in big fat drops down my cheeks. Not good when you are about to go up a steep slope and do a high-risk activity at height.
After all the work I have done in personal development, I knew there was something more to my inner dialogue than simple crankiness. I asked myself, “what is really going on here? What is really bothering me?” The answer came bubbling up: I was scared of failing, I was scared of falling over and hurting myself, I was scared of being judged and laughed at.
Whoa! That was enough to stop me in my tracks. If I had these kinds of thoughts and feelings running through me, then I was definitely heading for a spectacular stack. The body likes to do as the mind commands, and if it is hearing ‘pain, falling over, mortification’, you can be sure it will deliver.
This realisation came as we stepped up to the T-bar for our turn, grabbed the pole, and promptly fell off. They stopped the whole T bar so we could disentangle ourselves. A hundred heads swiveled our way. I started laughing – of course we were going to fall over with misery guts wailing away inside my head! The Universe has such a great sense of humour – ask and ye shall receive, pronto.
We dusted ourselves off, gathered our dignity, and re-joined the line to have another go. Rob went on by himself to nurse his pride, and I followed alone to ponder the day ahead. On the trip up I checked in with what I really wanted from this ski experience. I wanted to enjoy the day on the mountain, have a go at practicing my telemark turns, and savour the time in the snow. Simple mission. There was no one to judge me (other people’s opinions are none of my business anyway). I did not have to prove anything to anyone.
By the time we got to the top of the slope, I was feeling good and ready for action. We set off to try out a few turns. To my astonishment, I managed pretty well. I could link turns, I was having a go, and I was enjoying it. Even wiping out at the bottom of the chairlift was no big deal. Every landing on my butt was a chance to learn a better technique.
This kind of mood recovery never used to be my strength. Fear, uneasiness, and disappointment used to haunt me through an entire day or week. I could never really put my finger on the underlying issue and I certainly did not have the skills to blast through it. In my work with the Law of Attraction I have honed my inner awareness and sensitivity to emotional fluctuations. I notice more readily when things are out of kilter. I can step back quickly and get to the real heart of the matter, and then release the energy around the troubled feelings and beliefs. As a result I have far less volatile emotional rides and more harmonious relationships. The emotional roller coaster is more of a scenic bus tour now.
It is this kind of perception I love to share with my clients. I can see and sense their turmoil and limiting beliefs where they have been so long mired in it they lack a clear perspective. Together we zap beliefs that no longer serve them and hone emotional releasing techniques. Igniting awareness of one’s own inner mental and emotional machinery is one of the most incredibly empowering experiences.
Like stepping off a chair lift and discovering you can fly with skis on. 
Rob, taking a rest after the epic climb up.
Just like the mountain of life (you saw that metaphor coming, I know you did!), you need to know what you want before you set off. This will show you the path forward, help you to take risks you might otherwise have shied away from, and be open to new discoveries. Like the discovery of you, and how marvelous you are.
Happy skiing, surfing, riding, swimming, laughing, living,
Zoe
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