My mountain Valentine

Some girls get flowers, chocolates, dinner out. I got a weekend in the mountains, and I could not be happier! This is the view from the top of Australia's highest peak, Mount Koscisuzko.

The best cooking rock ever. Also sporting the ever-fashionable thermal underwear. A classic look.

Cooking rock beside the mighty Snowy River.

Fixing blisters in the field.

Me and my Valentine Rob, close to Mount Carruthers on the main range.

View to Lady Northcote valley.

Lake Albina.
There was an amazing amount of water in the high country considering it is so dry.

Me and Rob at the top of Mount Kosciuszko.

Go with it

"Go with it, Zoe," my father-in-law Paul likes to tell me. This is his key message post-lunch after a busy morning surfing in the summer sun, when that wave of sleepiness washes over you like a thick blanket of drowsy molasses.

"Don't fight it, go with it," he says as I struggle to keep my eyes open - to watch a little tv, or read a book. I am fighting to stay awake and be productive, even in leisure time, when clearly my body is saying 'sleeeeeep...rest...'

Paul is definitely the Master of Taking It Easy. He is long-time proponent of the afternoon nap. He is also one of the happiest men I know, second only to his son (my lovely Rob) who has also mastered the art of 'going with it'.

As for me, I am a novice, learning the ways of taking it easy. I have long been a 'doer' and achiever, a go-getter. I don't deal well with sickness, resting, or going with the flow.

But I am learning. Or so I thought.

On Monday I had IVF surgery to pickup my eggs for fertilisation. Not a nice procedure and I am glad they knocked me out for it. Ever since I have felt like a watermelon pincushion. Imagine overeating five times your usual dinner serving - that's the feeling I've been saddled with this week.

So I tried to ignore it, remain productive, and work my way through the discomfort.

This strategy was clearly not working - I lost my interest to clean the kitchen (not like me) and even lost interest in eating (definitely not like me!)

So I gave in and decided to 'go with it'.

Yesterday afternoon I lay on the living room floor (the most comfortable position for the swollen mountain) and watched XMen 2. I let go of the thoughts, "I should be working" and just went with it. And watching Wolverine fight the bad guys helped me forget about my walrus-like condition. Yay - relief. I felt a little better.

This morning I woke for the first time in a week not feeling like I'd swallowed a brick - hooray! The feeling of relief from the day before swelled to joy. I cleaned the kitchen bench and ate brekkie without feeling like choking - hooray again! And my "I can't wait to get in the office and do some work" feeling flooded back to me too.

Looking for that bit of relief, that bit of ease, really did the trick. Just like Abraham-Hicks say - let go of the oars, and just float downstream.

Just go with it.

This is the only way things work: change how you feel, even if it is only a tiny bit of relief, and then circumstances change. It doesn't work the other way around: many of us keep thinking we'll feel better when circumstances change (when we lose weight, make more money, move to a beach house). It's only when we feel better, that circumstances change.

And the odd thing is, it's not the change of circumstances that brings the good feelings - you were already on a roll, so the change of circumstances are really just an expression of you already feeling good. And because you are already feeling good, your continued expression of feeling good increases.

The better you feel, the better you feel. That's called being in the flow. That's pointing downstream and letting it be easy.

And all it took as choosing a bit of relief.

Like lying on the carpet and watching XMen for an afternoon.

Zoe
p.p.s. We got 16 embryos out of the IVF procedure, and when my hormones settle by April, we'll be able to do a transfer. Smiles and high fives all around :)

Togariro Crossing and Hell's Gate

There is nothing like a holiday and adventure to expand perspective and raise the vibrations. Here are some shots from our trip to New Zealand - a must do on anyone's to-do travel list.

Rob near 'Mount Doom' from Lord of the Rings on the crossing - this is where they filmed many of the Mordor scenes

Me at the lip of the red crater - this is a very 'live' mountain - there is thermal activity everywhere - just to my left and out of the shot is a whole series of smoking holes letting out sulphuric fumes - signs of the volcanic activity not far from the earth's surface. Mt Ngauruhoe (aka Mount Doom) even had an eruption in September 2007.

The Emerald Lakes.

Spectacular, stark scenery in this volcanic landscape - not much grows near a volcano!

Me and Rob in the stinky mud baths at Hell's Gate - one of Rotorua's most active thermal areas. The sulphur from the mud smells like rotten eggs - the whole town is saturated in the stench - there are fuming gas puddles everywhere

The world is a marvelous place - so many wonderful things to discover. Next trip? Probably back to New Zealand - the South Island - to walk in the mountains there. They are truly awe-inspiring.

New Zealand Report: ever been a celebrant?

*I've just landed back in Oz, and before I get back in to cyberland LOA writing, I thought I'd share some photos and stories from the trip. I just love a good wedding and this one was a pearler!

Ever been a celebrant?

Nope, me neither.

When Darren and Jane asked me to conduct their wedding ceremony, I was deeply touched and honoured. I've known the two of them for the last ten years: I hired them both for Outward Bound, trained them both, and worked alongside them for ages. They like to say I was the one who set them up, but really it was just a helping hand. They seemed perfect for each other straight from the beginning: both Kiwis (New Zealanders), loved the outdoors, and both absolutely gorgeous. So when it came to deciding who Jane went out with on her first course at OB, naturally I picked Darren. Long story short: they fell in love, had a fantastic romance, broke up under the pressure of working and living at Outward Bound, reunited four years later in Malaysia where Jane declared her undying love for Darren, and he reciprocated. Fast forward to November 3rd and their wedding day.

Aren't they gorgeous? And so in love!

Jane - the stunning bride gazing at her adoring groom

Daz - the adoring groom, happiest man on the beach

It was a glorious day for the wedding in a beautiful setting - on Taipa Bay, New Zealand north island. As for the celebrant part, I was nervous as hell, deeply touched, and managed not to cry through the whole thing. In case you're wondering, I'm not a licensed celebrant - they had a 'real' celebrant do all the official vows and legal bit. I did all the mushy stuff (which I totally loved).

Hurray! I love a good love story, and this one was a classic.

Me and my best friend's bub, Charlie, duties complete, ready to kick off the heels and party

Off to New Zealand

Just a quick update as I am off to New Zealand to see Jane and Daz get married - a romance 8 years in the making, spanning Australasia.

The lovebirds

I won't be posting as I'll be busy celebrating, hiking mountains, simmering in hot springs, and running the gauntlet with blackwater rafting (rafting in a cave - just thinking about it gives me the willies!)

I'll be back to blog way on November 11th.

Other updates:

• Law of Attraction for Coaches will be ready for release on November 16th. The interviews have been fabulous - the energy and combined wisdom of these superstar coaches is really outstanding. I can't wait to share them with you!
• Sadly, our first efforts at IVF have been unsuccessful. There have been teary days, but mostly I am feeling good. I figure I have some more conflicting intentions to resolve, some beliefs to blast, some manifesting to do...or maybe I just need a holiday. Sometimes you just need to let go of the desired outcome and let it all happen. New Zealand here I come!
• Life is good. Very very good.

See ya on the other side of the Tasman Sea and back.

Zoe

P.S. Happy Birthday DAD!

My sister Vicky, Mum, and the Silver Fox himself - Dad!

New babies for everyone

My girlfriend Josie and hubby Andy had a baby girl this morning. I was the official aunty, designated to babysit their first bubba, Charlie, who just turned 1 on the weekend. Yes they are nuts having two kids so close together, but hey, it's a grand adventure.

I have to say I was overwhelmed by the whole experience, and I was just in the waiting room! The whole event took just over an hour from getting to hospital and baby wrapped up in a blanket. And there was this beautiful little miracle gazing with new eyes at the world, little fingers wriggling and waving. Wow.


It was truly amazing. It was another incredible reminder of the dazzling miracle of life, operating from an intelligence well beyond our limited comprehension. All we can do is sit and wonder at the beauty and perfection it all. From the new bud of a tulip opening to the morning sunshine, to the exquisite detail of a newborn's fingernail, there is a force that is gentle and perfect that guides us with infinite wisdom. Even when we fail to see a rhyme and a reason.

When I've come back to earth, I'll share some more photos from the trip to Dubbo and some exciting new projects happening in LOA land - my new babies!

In the meantime, savour the miracles in your neighbourhood.

Free heeling in the mountains

Sunrise on the ridge outside of our lodge at Guthega. We skied the 400 vertical meters to the top on the second day, and then around the back above the tree line. Magic.

Approaching the T-bar for the first time, my heart started to pound. I don’t like heights. I don’t like being afraid of hurting myself at the top of a big hill when the only way out is down, with or without skis.

As I edged forward in the line, I heard my little inner voice speak up. It has the tone and pout of a three year old. We were late getting on the slopes, my skis kept falling out of their bindings, we hadn’t packed lunch, I was getting hungry, and it was somehow all Rob’s fault. My bottom lip trembled. In a second tears were going to roll in big fat drops down my cheeks. Not good when you are about to go up a steep slope and do a high-risk activity at height.

After all the work I have done in personal development, I knew there was something more to my inner dialogue than simple crankiness. I asked myself, “what is really going on here? What is really bothering me?” The answer came bubbling up: I was scared of failing, I was scared of falling over and hurting myself, I was scared of being judged and laughed at.

Whoa! That was enough to stop me in my tracks. If I had these kinds of thoughts and feelings running through me, then I was definitely heading for a spectacular stack. The body likes to do as the mind commands, and if it is hearing ‘pain, falling over, mortification’, you can be sure it will deliver.

This realisation came as we stepped up to the T-bar for our turn, grabbed the pole, and promptly fell off. They stopped the whole T bar so we could disentangle ourselves. A hundred heads swiveled our way. I started laughing – of course we were going to fall over with misery guts wailing away inside my head! The Universe has such a great sense of humour – ask and ye shall receive, pronto.

We dusted ourselves off, gathered our dignity, and re-joined the line to have another go. Rob went on by himself to nurse his pride, and I followed alone to ponder the day ahead. On the trip up I checked in with what I really wanted from this ski experience. I wanted to enjoy the day on the mountain, have a go at practicing my telemark turns, and savour the time in the snow. Simple mission. There was no one to judge me (other people’s opinions are none of my business anyway). I did not have to prove anything to anyone.

Me, at the top, with nasty weather moving in.

By the time we got to the top of the slope, I was feeling good and ready for action. We set off to try out a few turns. To my astonishment, I managed pretty well. I could link turns, I was having a go, and I was enjoying it. Even wiping out at the bottom of the chairlift was no big deal. Every landing on my butt was a chance to learn a better technique.

This kind of mood recovery never used to be my strength. Fear, uneasiness, and disappointment used to haunt me through an entire day or week. I could never really put my finger on the underlying issue and I certainly did not have the skills to blast through it. In my work with the Law of Attraction I have honed my inner awareness and sensitivity to emotional fluctuations. I notice more readily when things are out of kilter. I can step back quickly and get to the real heart of the matter, and then release the energy around the troubled feelings and beliefs. As a result I have far less volatile emotional rides and more harmonious relationships. The emotional roller coaster is more of a scenic bus tour now.

It is this kind of perception I love to share with my clients. I can see and sense their turmoil and limiting beliefs where they have been so long mired in it they lack a clear perspective. Together we zap beliefs that no longer serve them and hone emotional releasing techniques. Igniting awareness of one’s own inner mental and emotional machinery is one of the most incredibly empowering experiences.

Like stepping off a chair lift and discovering you can fly with skis on.

Rob, taking a rest after the epic climb up.

Just like the mountain of life (you saw that metaphor coming, I know you did!), you need to know what you want before you set off. This will show you the path forward, help you to take risks you might otherwise have shied away from, and be open to new discoveries. Like the discovery of you, and how marvelous you are.

Happy skiing, surfing, riding, swimming, laughing, living,

Zoe

Waiting for babies

I hardly know how to begin.

My husband and I have been trying for babies since January. We started before the official ok was given by my surgeon following cancer treatment in 2005, but I have since proven to be fine and healthy. So far though, no sign of bambinos.

We're doing all the right things: we eat well, we exercise, we take vitamins, and we are under supervision at a fertility clinic and being told when to 'go for it' (thank goodness they leave the 'how' up to us!). We know that getting pregnant is not without its complexities, especially given my age (37), and my medical history of cervical cancer which involved the removal of the cervix and three months of chemotherapy. The doctor still rates my chances as pretty good as everything else is in good working order.

I have also been doing all of my law of attraction 'stuff' too: vision board with photos of babies, doing EFT, visualisation, and other clearing exercises.

Nothing.

This is definitely a case of trying to force an outcome. I am definitely attached to the outcome! I want to have a baby and I feel time is not on my side. I am invested heavily in all ways in the outcome.

This, of course, is not helping much. Expectations are raised and then dashed every few weeks.

I know where I need to get to: I need to find that place of surrender, of acceptance, of letting go. This is incredibly difficult when I just want to be a mummy. It is a vicious biological and emotional surge.

And yet, this is the only option: finding a place of peace deep inside me. It is the only way if I am going to let go of torment, anxiety, stress, and despair.

So in the smallest of moments I open myself up to peace: in the sunshine splashing the frosty hills, the gentle jingle of the wind chimes, the warm hug of my loving husband. Life is still good. Life is still beautiful. And I can still find delight in all of its incredible wonders.

I know now how hard it is to find this quiet place of acceptance, this place of stillness. It is but a simple choice, but you've got to step over all your ego to get there.

So if you're struggling with disappointments - like maybe your business did not make the sales you wanted, or your grades at university fell short, or your life partner still hasn't shown up, just give yourself a break. Life is lived only in moments, so give yourself a chance to feel good in some of them now. Everything else will unfold as it will.

Best to all of you,
Zoe

A world in the drop of water

The universe is a big place. A really big place.

I love grand sweeping vistas of the sea that reflect the immensity of the world and beyond.

I also love the exquisite detail of the micro universe. For me, the world is a web of miracles. None are more clear and potent than in the brilliant precision of the smallest of things.

Enjoy.

Zoe

Me on my birthday with yummo chocolate cake :)

37 reasons to get up in the morning

Happy Birthday to me!
Yes, I have made it to yet another milestone. 37 is as good as any random number to celebrate being alive and wandering this fair planet.

Here are 37 fabulous reasons to throw back the doona, do a jig, and crack a smile for the day.

1. I have four limbs, full mental faculties (most days), and all body parts working in unison (except while playing golf).
2. I can read and write, unlike a billion others in the world.
3. I have a computer, even if it does operate as if powered by small rodent on treadmill.
4. I have a loving husband who spoils me rotten (blueberry pancakes on birthday morning anyone?)
5. My days are inexorably (is this a word?) filled with peaceful moments.
6. A ton of books just waiting to be read and savoured. More than I can hope to read in this lifetime.
7. Rain.
8. Snow.
9. Sunshine.
10. Cats love to cuddle and purr all over me. This is nice, even if it does make me break out in hives and make my nose run like a torrent.
11. Star Wars on DVD. I can watch it again and again. And again.
12. Family who care enough to wake me up in the middle of the night to wish me happy birthday.
13. In-laws who like me enough to bake me a cake and give me kitchen appliances.
14. Membership to a gym where they know me by name.
15. Boobs any woman might envy, even though they do not know the dramas of finding a good jogging bra.
16. Roger Federer playing in Wimbledon again. The man is poetry in sport. They should have called him Wordsworth.
17. Friends who call me and remind me that they still love me, even with more wrinkles and silver hair.
18. More adventures to be had each day.
19. More opportunities to make babies.
20. More chances to connect with people, spread a little joy and peace, and eat chocolate.
21. Wonderful mentors and coaches. Thanks Drew!
22. Work that is creative and exciting and fun.
23. The BBC production of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
24. Seeing the way Virginia Hausegger smiles at the weather guy on ABC news each night.
25. Selling cool stuff that helps people.
26. Cuddles from a husband who never tires of my silliness.
27. I drive a very cool car - Subaru Impreza R. Silver. Hatchback. Love it!
28. Funky hip parents who own a nice B & B in Prince Edward Island.
    
29. A sister who lives in New York who loves to have us visit. Big Apple holiday - here we come!
30. My camera. I love taking photos. It helps expand perspective.
31. My boogie board. You want true freedom? Ride a wave. Your life will be changed forever.
32. Amazon bookstore. What a cool business!
33. To see my vision of the Hang Out fulfilled: a health and wellness centre that incorporates personal development with health, fitness, and a cool place to hang out.
34. Opportunity to make the small moments count.
35. I'm not 40 yet!
36. I live in Australia: land of beautiful beaches, amazing wilderness, fun friendly people, sunshine, freedom and peace.
37. I'm breathing and above ground. That's reason enough!
    

The List

Since I posted the list of things I have already done, I put my attention to "what's next?" Here are some thoughts...suggestions and your own lists welcome.

People to meet

1. Drew Rozell
2. Ewan McGregor
3. George Lucas
4. Hayden Christensen
5. Roger Federer
6. Oprah Winfrey
7. Prince Harry
8. Bob Doyle
9. Bill Gates
10. Dalai Lama
11. Anthony Robbins
12. Johnny Depp
    

Places to visit

1. South Africa to visit family I have not met
2. Star Wars filming location tour: Italy, Tunisia, Fox Studios in Sydney
3. Visit Windsor Castle, Buckingham Palace
4. Fiji
5. Norway
6. Darwin
7. Ayer's Rock - Uluru
8. Tibet
9. Paris
10. Katherine Gorge
11. Kakadu
12. Great pyramids
13. India
14. Italy's lake Como
15. The Louvre

Adventures to experience

1. Bushwalk in Tasmania
2. Paddle the Nahanni River
3. Undertake another 6-8 week canoe trip with old friends
4. Hike in the Himalayas
5. Castle tour of Great Britain
6. Safari in Africa
7. Dance in the Mardi Gras in Rio
8. Paddle the Mackenzie River
9. Wine and cheese cycling tour of France
10. Hike the Grand Canyon
11. Swim with Whale Sharks in Ningaloo
12. Scuba dive in Brazil
    

Cool things to do

1. Give away $100 000
2. Have a baby
3. Be a parent
4. Sell something on ebay
5. Publish a hard copy book
6. See the changing of the Guard in London
7. Coach a major celebrity, like Hayden Christensen
8. Be an extra in a Star Wars movie
9. Attract $5000 per month on-line revenue
10. Live by the sea in a gorgeous beach house
11. Have a $1 million in the bank
12. Hit a hole in one
13. Wear an 18th century dress for a day
14. Drink tea in Boston
15. Publish a photo in a magazine
16. Own a cafe bookstore
17. Run a publishing company
18. Learn to cook gourmet
19. Sail on a very big ship
    

Things to own

1. Maserati spider
2. New bookshelves
3. A Coach handbag
4. Nice pair of winter boots
5. A macro lens for my digital camera

A little piece of peace

On Friday I got a call from my sister. My Mum is in hospital with chest pains.

I am in Australia; she is in Prince Edward Island, which is literally on the other side of the planet. It is at least 4 flights and 40 hours of travel to get there.

All those who have left family behind in another country understand the powerlessness and fear you feel when news like this occurs. It is your worst fear realised.

What could I do? Nothing.

My Mum is receiving good medical treatment, my Dad is with her, and it is likely she will be fine after an angioplasty and prescription for cholesterol medication.

After almost a week, I finally got to talk to her on the phone today, before she undergoes the procedure that will fit a shunt in her heart valve. She is scared. I love her. I know that whatever happens, she will be ok. She is a great and beautiful spirit that will overcome whatever physical adversity occurs for her. She will always be with me, and I will always love her. That is all.

Am I worried? It’s not quite the right emotion. I suppose I am beyond worry and feel compassion and love more than anything else. I have been in many hospitals and had many procedures, and know that none are easy. They are a stark reminder of your vulnerability and fragility. It is also a good reminder of the temporary nature of life, and the eternal nature of the spirit.

I am not fighting anything; I am not praying for anything, I am simply sending love to my Mum. I am ok with what is. It does not mean I like it, it just means that I remind myself to feel love rather than fear, to feel trust rather anger. The sun is still shining and the blue sky is still achingly beautiful and endless.

And this is the greatest gift in learning the Law of Attraction: being ok with what is while holding the desire for something more. It is a place of peace.

Whatever your troubles, I wish for you too the gift of peace.

Spring at the Arctic Circle

My friend Jay went on a spring fishing trip to the shore of Hudson Bay, near Arviat, in Canada and sent me a few photos. Jay and I worked together at Camp Stephens summer camp for many years. When he was Camp Director and I was Wilderness Coordinator (organising canoe trips), we had two great summers of laughs and outrageous shenanigans (instigated by Jay, larrikin extraordinaire).

Jay, beside an 'inukshuk', used to create landmarks to navigate across the wide snowy landscape.

Jay could also win the prize for most creative and inspiring theatrics for staff and camper parties. He once had the YMCA emblem (upside down triangle) floating on a dock in the bay lit by flaming arrows shot from the roof of the nearby lodge roof, while spellbound campers looked on. It was not the safest exercise, nor did it always work, but the funnest part was anticipating which emblem-lighting scheme Jay would come up with next. Having a staff member ride a bike off the dock through the burning triangle into the water was one stunt that did not go repeated! Just a few risk management issues to contend with there.

Jay now teaches Inuit kids up in northern Canada. Jay takes his love of life with him and I am assured there are plenty of opportunities for pranks and laughs up there!

The ice will not melt until July (i.e. middle of summer in the rest of the country) and there is now 24 hours of light. The ice is still six feet deep, though there are seal breathing holes and milions of geese, cranes, and swans returning for the summer.

I love these photos as they remind me that there are many paths to happiness. Finding beauty and an expanded perspective in your surroundings is one of them.


6 foot ice auger used to drill an ice fishing hole, during a spring fishing trip



A traditional drum dance ceremony.


















Jay and friend/fishing host, Frank

Ardlethan babies

This is Maya Celeste Edwardes, after being fed in an Alpaca paddock.

Rob and I had a wonderful visit to Ardlethan. This is a tiny town, population of 500, east of Canberra. Our friends Megs and Phil, are parents to baby Maya and we went along to check out the new family.

Megs parents own a fabulous Alpaca farm, Wildwood Alpacas, and we managed to get up and personal with some of these lovely creatures. After a tour of the property it really hit home how hard life on the land really is. It is dirty, harsh, and constant. It's even more tough when the drought persists. May it rain soon.

Alpacas enjoying the evening twilight

Life on the land is also quiet, peaceful, with huge skies and beautiful vistas.

Photo of me, taken by Rob