Go with it

"Go with it, Zoe," my father-in-law Paul likes to tell me. This is his key message post-lunch after a busy morning surfing in the summer sun, when that wave of sleepiness washes over you like a thick blanket of drowsy molasses.

"Don't fight it, go with it," he says as I struggle to keep my eyes open - to watch a little tv, or read a book. I am fighting to stay awake and be productive, even in leisure time, when clearly my body is saying 'sleeeeeep...rest...'

Paul is definitely the Master of Taking It Easy. He is long-time proponent of the afternoon nap. He is also one of the happiest men I know, second only to his son (my lovely Rob) who has also mastered the art of 'going with it'.

As for me, I am a novice, learning the ways of taking it easy. I have long been a 'doer' and achiever, a go-getter. I don't deal well with sickness, resting, or going with the flow.

But I am learning. Or so I thought.

On Monday I had IVF surgery to pickup my eggs for fertilisation. Not a nice procedure and I am glad they knocked me out for it. Ever since I have felt like a watermelon pincushion. Imagine overeating five times your usual dinner serving - that's the feeling I've been saddled with this week.

So I tried to ignore it, remain productive, and work my way through the discomfort.

This strategy was clearly not working - I lost my interest to clean the kitchen (not like me) and even lost interest in eating (definitely not like me!)

So I gave in and decided to 'go with it'.

Yesterday afternoon I lay on the living room floor (the most comfortable position for the swollen mountain) and watched XMen 2. I let go of the thoughts, "I should be working" and just went with it. And watching Wolverine fight the bad guys helped me forget about my walrus-like condition. Yay - relief. I felt a little better.

This morning I woke for the first time in a week not feeling like I'd swallowed a brick - hooray! The feeling of relief from the day before swelled to joy. I cleaned the kitchen bench and ate brekkie without feeling like choking - hooray again! And my "I can't wait to get in the office and do some work" feeling flooded back to me too.

Looking for that bit of relief, that bit of ease, really did the trick. Just like Abraham-Hicks say - let go of the oars, and just float downstream.

Just go with it.

This is the only way things work: change how you feel, even if it is only a tiny bit of relief, and then circumstances change. It doesn't work the other way around: many of us keep thinking we'll feel better when circumstances change (when we lose weight, make more money, move to a beach house). It's only when we feel better, that circumstances change.

And the odd thing is, it's not the change of circumstances that brings the good feelings - you were already on a roll, so the change of circumstances are really just an expression of you already feeling good. And because you are already feeling good, your continued expression of feeling good increases.

The better you feel, the better you feel. That's called being in the flow. That's pointing downstream and letting it be easy.

And all it took as choosing a bit of relief.

Like lying on the carpet and watching XMen for an afternoon.

Zoe
p.p.s. We got 16 embryos out of the IVF procedure, and when my hormones settle by April, we'll be able to do a transfer. Smiles and high fives all around :)