Gratitude vs Appreciation

A colleague was telling how hard she finds to feel gratitude some days when things seem bleak and frustrating. After all, gratitude is supposed to be the vibe that brings good things, right?

Not all the time.

Sometimes when you have serious cranky pants, it is almost impossible to break in to gratitude. And that's because gratitude implies you are indebted emotionally, or karmically, to another entity. Like being grateful for a job (someone has to give you one), or being grateful to the dog that wags its tail at you (you need the dog), or being grateful for the universe for sending you a hunky courier (you need both spunky guy and the whole universe). There's a sense of owing something.

Gratitude also implies a need for being humble.

Like when I used to fight with parents when I was a teenager over curfews and they came back with the absolute pearler, "You should be grateful you even have a roof over your head. You should be grateful that we even had you in the first place!"

As if that had anything to do with wanting to stay out late and party with naughty boys.

Sometimes being asked to be grateful when you are legitimately (or not so legitimately) irritated is like being asked to cuddle a porcupine and put a smile on your face. It's just not pleasant and no one really wants to do it.

It's the obligation part of gratitude that can usurp the good intentions.

Here's my solution to cracking the grumbles without feeling obligated:

Flex your Appreciation Muscle.

Appreciation has a subtle distinction to gratitude: you are completely in control of what you choose to appreciate and you don't owe anyone anything.

Let's test the difference:

I am grateful for the roof over my head.

I appreciate the roof over my head.

Appreciation is about recognising the positive aspects of something without feeling indebted in any way.

Don't think I am knocking gratitude!

Gratitude can feel fantastic as well! Check this differnce:

I am grateful for 80s dance music.

I appreciate 80s dance music.

There's more abandon in the emotional expression of 'gratitude' in this case. It feels a bit more profound.

Gratitude is actually higher up the emotional vibrational scale - being closer to love and joy. However, when you're down in the dumps, it's a long hill to climb.

The key point to remember: if you're feeling stuck and grumbly, crank up the APPRECIATION vibe, and you'll soon be humming in a happier direction. Who knows, you may even find things to be grateful about too.

To your success.