It's been a huge couple of weeks: Heath Ledger died,
the air conditioning conked out, our house was broken
in to (nothing taken thank goodness), my course is sold
out, and my hormones are bouncing off the radar
with the IVF treatments.
Easy to feel overwhelmed! However I've put my attention
squarely on what I want: and that my friends, above all
else, is to feel good, to feel free, and to be happy.
So how do you do it when confronted with such biggies? Heath dying. Like many, I was sad, shocked, and
completely distracted by this gorgeous young man's
early demise. He leaves behind a 2 year old girl
and the world wondering, "what if" and "if only".
The thing is, it just felt awful to wallow in the
these thoughts. I was desperate to shift form this
vibe because it was so unsettling. So I gently I
brought my attention back to what I did know:
Heath, like all of us, is made of energy, and in his
dying he has simply changed form. Energy cannot
be created or destroyed - it simply moves through
form. So Heath's essence is out here in the wider
world: I felt him in the wind in the trees, the brilliant
splash of sunlight on the sea, and the endless sky
so peaceful.
It doesn't make Heath's death ok; it makes me ok
with Heath's death. And I feel a little bit better about it all.
The house break in. I was on the phone in my office
when I saw a young ma walk up the back steps and
heard him go in the house. There was a stranger in my
house! Rob called the cops and I locked myself in the
office as I heard the man tramp through the place. The
next ten minutes seemed like half an hour until Rob and
the cops turned up. I was terrified. Through that whole
time, I managed to calm down and notice what I was
doing to myself: I was running 'what if' scenarios through
my head, I was mourning the loss of my safety as I
could never work at home alone again, and so on.
Essentially, I was working myself in to a complete lather
when I was actually fine. The kid left the house after two
minutes (I heard the door slam). It turns out he was a
young fella with Down Syndrome who was just a little lost.
The biggest fears I faced in that moment were all in my
own imagination. I was the one terrorising myself.
When I brought my awareness gently back to the
moment, I could feel calm again. And this week, I am
still working from home, and feel quite safe.
My course selling out. That was a fun one! I simply
focused on what I wanted to feel (connected, engaged,
fun), who I wanted to work with (folks who want to
learn and grow and collaborate in a powerful fun
atmosphere) and poof! The Canberra course was sold out.
For the record, I still have room on my telecourse.
If you are keen to learn and thrive in a community
of like-minded thinkers, then check it out
here.
IVF hormones. No doubt about it, trying to get
pregnant is an emotionally charged process, especially
if it is a protracted affair. This is our second round of
IVF. However, the experience is different for me this
time. I have been a little more emotional that's true, and
my stomach has swollen like a watermelon. However,
I have been giving myself a break mentally - no more
pressure on myself, no more wondering 'what if' . Lately
I have been focussing on what I want through having
a child: connection, opportunity to love and support and
cherish. And I have been focusing my attention on
where i can feel this now: with my hubby, with the folks
who are in the 3 Pillars workshop, and maybe in getting
a pet. My girlfriend recently bought a dog after trying
for babies for over three years and presto! she's preggers.
So I figure something more cuddly than the worms in my
worm farm far might be in order.
Through all this, the lessons are simple: keep focussed
on what I want - how I want to feel, and allow
myself to feel those lovely feelings now, regardless
of circumstances. We are the ones after all who make
something 'good' or 'bad' - we make the meanings in our
life, we tell the stories that make us feel good or make us
feel bad. We get to choose. So why not choose a meaning
that feels good?
That my friends is how you live a life of delight, peace,
and happiness.
Here's to you and your life,
No comments:
Post a Comment