I am preparing for a trip to Mildura next week with the Wine Industry leadership program I am facilitating. My colleague rang me to run through a few other items we needed to get done for the following session, including a letter to Senator Penny Wong to attend as a guest speaker at the dinner.
Shock. Horror. I had completely forgotten to follow this up and time was running out. A white heat of shame washed over me.
Do I confess or blunder through it, pretending it was all taken care of? If I admit my mistake I lose tremendous face. If I lie I to save face, but compromise integrity, I then add 'guilt' to 'shame'.
I confessed my mistake and told my colleague, "I screwed up. I've dropped the bundle." I had no excuses - I just forgot, and now I need to fix it.
He was most gracious in his response. What can you do when someone confesses their shame? This is punishment and retribution enough.
Flash forward to another incident with something else I was organising. My helper had made a few blunders and my stress levels were rising. I gently pointed these out and asked, "how can we fix this?" Back came a very defensive response, followed by an insult and attack.
What the...? All she needed to do from my point of view was to admit an error, and move on with a commitment to fix it. Instead now there is black bile between us. Sheesh.
So the lesson here folks - summon your moral courage and simply admit you're wrong. what you lose temporarily in face you will gain massively in integrity.
Have a great weekend.
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